


It Should've Been Us

by ezrajclarke



Series: The Howls of Wolves [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Wolves, F/F, F/M, M/M, Post-Pitch Perfect 3, Supernatural Elements, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2020-05-02 03:14:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19190806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezrajclarke/pseuds/ezrajclarke
Summary: Because Mates doesn't mean perfect. This is the second installment of my story Wolves. You probably could read this without the other part? But to understand everything you might want to read Wolves first.





	1. Empty Space

**Author's Note:**

> Back by popular demand? Thanks so much for all of your comments insisting that I do a sequel. I make no promises that it won't be a rough ride, but hey that's part of the journey right?

Chloe Beale laid in her bed, eyes sunken into her skull from lack of sleep and body aching with pain all over. Her throat was dry, her ears were ringing, her head was pounding. She’d stuck herself in her apartment all day as rain clouds filled the New York City skyline and blended with the sickness to enforce the dreariness of the day. Her body shivered and she coughed with the thunder as it rumbled across the sky. All at the same time, her body was overheated and freezing cold. She knew she had a fever. She had had it for days now, but only choose to get some rest today when it had gotten so bad that she couldn’t hide it from her coworkers any longer. If she had gone into to work at the hospital today, they would have sent her home for sure, even if she knew she wasn’t contagious. She knew what this was and why she felt this kind of pain. In seven years she hadn’t been sick once, which meant this could be for one reason and one reason only. 

Chloe grabbed onto the scent from outside of her apartment complex. A familiar scent she had gotten used to recognizing all those years, when things were just been simpler then they were now. She used to revel in the scent and welcome whom it came from, but things were different now. No longer did she welcome that scent or any scent similar to it. Chloe got up from the couch, still in sweats and a Ramones T-shirt and wrapped herself in the blanket she had been laying with. She followed the scent to her front door and swallowed the lump in her throat. This wasn’t a conversation she was looking forward to as she smelled the visitor approaching her front door. 

It started as a knock and Chloe reached out her hand, but left it on the doorknob unmoved. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to open it. She wasn’t ready to reopen a door that had been closed for two years now. She took another whiff of the scent and her hand started to shake. The knock picked up then, this time a bit harder than before and a few more times. Chloe closed her eyes, her head pounding again. Her muscles tensed. Her wolf begged for the scent because it was so similar to the scent it really yearned for, but Chloe knew there was a difference between the two. The knock turned into a banging and Chloe heard the feminine voice on the other side, “I know you’re home, Chloe. Open the damn door.” Chloe swallowed as the voice banged again before adding, “I can smell your scent.” Chloe took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally turning the knob and opening the door. Beyond it, Anne stood, her eyes red like strawberries, boring into Chloe’s cerulean blues. The furious look in Anne’s eyes told Chloe everything she needed to know and demanded that Chloe submit to the other Alpha. Chloe swallowed as Anne looked her over, but Chloe refused to break eye contact, “I knew it. You’re sick.” 

Anne brushed passed Chloe immediately, knocking the redhead back and entering her one-bedroom apartment, “Anne, what are you doing here?” Chloe sounded exasperated and out of breath as she followed the Alpha wolf into her living room through the kitchen. The entire apartment was less than a thousand square feet, so it didn’t take more than a second, “Anne?” 

Anne started to pass the second she got into the living room and Chloe sat down on the couch to watch, “How long have you been sick?” Chloe looked around the room as if she couldn’t hear Anne and bit her lip, “Chloe. How long?”

Chloe rolled her eyes, her arms folded over her one another, “A few weeks.” 

Chloe could tell that her answer satisfied Anne’s curiosity, “You need to go home.” 

Chloe sighed with exasperation, “Anne, I am home.” It was a definitive answer, but Anne rolled her eyes. Chloe knew what she was referring to. She was referring to the home she had built with her pack all those years ago. The home her and Beca had built together with one another. The very thought of Beca’s name brought a familiar ache to Chloe’s chest, as it rose and fell. 

“Beca’s sick,” Anne stated, returned to look into Chloe’s eyes. Chloe’s breath hitched at the words, at Beca’s name being said aloud after two years of no contact at all. After two years apart. After a life alone in the city of New York, “It’s your mating mark.” 

Chloe instinctively clawed at the scar on her neck. A shadow of Beca’s canines that shown themselves proudly across the redhead’s collar bone. The mating mark that once gave Chloe a sense of pride and now filled with her stomach with dread. Chloe swallowed and her voice came out hoarse, “What do you mean?” 

“Don’t play coy with me, Chloe.” After all of these years, Anne was comfortable speaking with Chloe in a direct way, “Mates aren’t supposed to be apart. You both know that.” 

Chloe pulled the blanket over her shoulders again, looked away from Anne and broke their intense eye contact, “We’re separated, Anne.” It sounded cold and harsh, words she never thought she’d say in her entire life coming out of her mouth. 

A moment of silence, then Anne stated clearly, “You still wear the ring.” 

Chloe looked down at her left hand, at the clear cut diamond ring that proudly displayed itself on her ring finger. For a moment, she thought about the ring and the day Beca had given it to her. For a moment, she’d lost herself in a faded memory of years ago. The memory disappeared just as quickly as it came and Chloe hid the ring under the blanket, “It’s complicated.”  

***

_ Three years ago, _

_ The words came from Celtic vows that resonated with both women. _

_ “You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person, But I shall serve you in those ways you require.”  _

_ Beca Mitchell was dressed in a black blazer and dress pants. Her hair was curled and crisp in the light fog that covered the mountain cliff as the evening light dipped into an orange glow of a far off mountain peak. The air was light, the world was quiet, and the scenery was beautiful at every turn. The ceremony was one of simple tastes, though one that required travel for the visitors attending. It was up on a mountain peak in Maine far away from all packs and human civilizations. They invited only their closest and dearest friends and family, though for Chloe that meant a few more than what it meant for Beca. Both sides of the family came with full attendance. The white chairs on the mountain cliff filled with the two girl’s brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and the like. On Beca’s side, Stacie stood behind her as a maid of honor should and behind Chloe, Aubrey stood as hers. Beca’s bridesmaids and groomsmen were Emily and Jesse, while Chloe’s were Benji and Luke.  _

_ “I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine. from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night and into your eyes that I smile each morning.” _

_ Makeup covered both girls mating marks to keep the human side of their union from questioning such. Beca’s father and mother walked her down the aisle because neither of them would stop bothering Beca about how much they wanted to do it, even if Beca hadn’t at first intended on walking down the aisle herself. Chloe’s father had walked her down the aisle after Beca had made it down, step by step, two by two, followed by their Groomsmen and Bridesmaids. Chloe’s father had given her away to Beca, who seemed to take the gesture very seriously, even if the tradition was long since forgotten in the modern day. Beca had to hide her face behind her mane of hair to hide the tears that welled up in her eyes at how beautiful Chloe looked. Dressed in a beautiful short white gown, strapless and gorgeous, eyes as blue as the azure sky.  _

_ “I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine, no shall a grievous word be spoken about us, for our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.” And just like that Chloe Beale and Beca Mitchell, officially became Mrs. and Mrs. Mitchell. _

***

“Neither of you filed for divorce.”

“It’s complicated.”

Silence, again.

Anne sat down on the loveseat next to the couch and her shoulders slouched. Chloe watched as her mother in law took her right hand in both of hers. Anne rubbed a thumb on the top of Chloe’s hand and Chloe could feel calming pheromones flowing through the physical connection, “Chloe, I know it’s complicated. Nobody blames you, but It’s time to come home and if you don’t listen to me, listen to your body, to your wolf.” Anne motioned to her, “The two of you are sick and the only way you’re…” Anne sighed and corrected herself,  “The only way Beca will get better is if you come home.” 

Chloe cleared her throat and pulled her hand from Anne’s grip, “I... can’t.” Her voice was softer, almost vulnerable. 

Anne leaned back in her seat, “I tried to let the two of you figure this out on your own, but it’s been two years Chloe. You need to come home.”

“They don’t need me.” Chloe countered, “They’ve been fine without me.” 

Anne rolled her eyes, “The two of you are clueless.” She looked over Chloe in this form. Anyone could see how sick she was from a mile away by the bruises beneath her eyes and paleness of her skin. Her hands had been cold at the touch. Though, even on her spot on the couch across from Chloe, Anne could see the marks that covered Chloe’s body. The bite mark on her wrist, the brand of her and Beca’s pack on her shoulder, the mating mark that decorated her neck. She could also see how broken Chloe was. How broken both girls had been in two years. How neither of them could see why fate had drawn them together in the first place, “I don’t care if I have to drag you back by your tail, you’re coming with me.”

“Anne, I-”

“No,” Anne cut her off, “Go pack a bag. The flight to Los Angeles leaves in three hours and I like to be early to get through security. We can get lunch if we hurry.” 

Chloe looked over her mother in law, red eyes and all. Once again, she could notice the family resemblance between Anne and her daughter. The long brown locks, the ocean colored human eyes. Even the type of dominance they walked with resembled one another. Chloe could see how Beca had been shaped by each member of her family and how she’d grown up into the woman she was today. Chloe took a moment to think about it. Anne, in part, was right. Neither girl would get better if they stayed apart and Chloe couldn’t quite handle being sick forever or thinking that Beca was sick because Chloe didn’t go to her. At most, she’d stay a couple of days and catch a returning flight to New York. Long enough for them to heal and return to normal. Just a couple of days. That’s all.


	2. Don't Let Me Cave In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia! I love all of your theories on what happened between them ;) You'll find out soon enough and I promise I won't kill you tooo badly before then! In any case, the angst won't go on tooo terribly long. Keep up the reviews! 
> 
> Please Review!  
> Follow me on Tumblr @ezrajclarke
> 
> To answer some questions off the bat - no there's no cheating, no there's no Chicago and neither girl has been with anyone else.

Beca Mitchell sat her desk in her home studio, clicking on her laptop and listening through her headphones all the while wincing at the sound of her own mixes. This was the first day in her entire career that she had called out sick, though she wasn’t sure if it was calling out sick when she was really just working from home. Still, she wouldn’t get as much work done. Her head was pounding to the beat of the mix and she could barely keep her eyes open. Her body ached and her wolf yearned to claim all over again. She had bags under the bags of her eyes. Her skin was paler than she thought possible. She was constantly dehydrated, but drinking water just made it worse. She had a cough that kept the rest of the pack up with how violent it was, but luckily their rooms weren’t so close that it mattered. 

Other than the light off her laptop, the studio was dark. The blinds had been shut, the door was closed, she had even turned the lights off in the studio beyond the glass to help the migraine settle. Nothing did the trick. She knew what this was. She was surprised it had taken this long to take effect on her. She had thought about it before but didn’t have much of a way to prevent or fix it. Everyone in the wolf community said it wasn’t possible to fix on her own. So she sat in the dark of the studio and coughed up a lung and snuggled deeper into the blanket that kept her warm, opting to stay in sweats and a grey T-shirt to match how terrible she felt. The world outside her continued to turn as Beca shielded herself from the bright, morning in Los Angeles. 

“Beca?” Stacie’s voice was soft and gentle, soothing to Beca’s ears. Beca didn’t respond as Stacie shuffled into the studio as light flooded in with her and she quickly shut the door, soft enough not to hurt Beca’s head, “Beca…” She whined.

“I don’t want to talk about it…” Beca mumbled back, her eyes drifting across her computer screen and down the soundboard next to it. 

“It’s not just going to go away.” Stacie countered, not daring to step too far into Beca’s comfort zone. The studio was more like Beca’s cave to hide in when she wanted to be alone, in addition to being her workplace when she wasn’t at the studio. 

***

_ Six Years Ago, _

_ “Keep them closed.” Chloe reminded Beca from behind as if the redhead wasn’t covering Beca’s eyes with both of her hands already. Beca hummed and grumbled at the same time if possible to her girlfriend as they stumbled on the path forward in an attempt to walk together.  _

_ “Chlo, you know I hate surprises. Just tell me where we’re going.” Beca groaned back, her hands fumbling for something to hold onto, but finding nothing to keep her balance.  _

_ “Okay stop,” Chloe said and Beca followed the order more than willingly. She came to a halt and Chloe almost ran into her from the abruptness that Beca had, “Okay just keep them closed,” Trusting her girlfriend, Chloe took her hands from Beca’s eyes and walked around to the front of Beca. Chloe bit her lip for a second longer as she looked over her girlfriend. A smile spread across her face in gitty excitement as she took in Beca’s beauty. Her hair still up in a bun from waking up earlier than she would’ve, even for Chloe if Chloe hadn’t bribed her with coffee first. She was still dressed in Chloe’s Ramones shirt that she’d pulled out of their shared closet and thrown on in an attempt to get ready and just a pair of jeans. Regardless of what she was wearing, Chloe thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world, “Okay. Open.”  _

_ Beca opened her eyes and blinked a few times to clear her vision. They were standing in an empty house, a huge house, with long windows that filled it with natural light. Chloe was standing in the living room portion that flowed into an open concept kitchen, just under the upstairs banister. Even without artificial lighting, the place was beautifully lit. The sun flowed through the place and left no corner in the dark. Beyond the kitchen was a glass door through which Beca could already see the spark of a deck that led into a backyard which lined up with the forest. “What do you think?” Chloe asked, her dimples showing in her excitement. _

_ Beca cocked an eyebrow at her mate in an unsure manner of asking what this really was. Though, Beca had to admit that Chloe looked so cute when she was this excited. After all, Beca knew it was important when Chloe had gotten up early, took a shower, put on her makeup, dressed in a short skirt and blouse all before she woke Beca up. Beca scrunched her nose in an apology for not knowing what was going on, “Where are we?” She asked, rather innocently.  _

_ Chloe gulped and took a step forward to Beca, taking both of Beca’s hands in her own, “I was thinking… maybe we move in here?” She raised both eyebrows in high hopes, “Okay before you say anything, I just think the apartment is getting pretty cramped and who knows who we might have joined the pack. Our family might expand and I just think we could use the space and look…” Chloe pulled on her wrists to drag Beca out to the kitchen to see the view of the backyard and forest that lay behind it, “It backs up right to the forest and it’s close enough to campus and…oh here’s the best part!” Chloe dragged her again, this time to a room that hid away in a cove beneath the stairs. She opened the door and a small, but usable Studio lay on the inside, “It’s even got a studio for you! And, and wait until you see the master-“  _

_ “Babe, babe.” Beca pulled back on Chloe and stopped her from moving. Chloe turned back and looked at Beca.  _

_ Chloe took a deep breath, “It’s okay, we don’t have to-“ _

_ “Baby, it’s perfect.” Beca finally said, a smile forming at the corners of her lips, “It’s perfect, I love it. I love you.” Beca pulled her in and kissed her, long, hard, and soft all at the same time in one of the many houses they would call their home. _

_ *** _

Stacie knew it was time to intervene because in the two years that she had owned her own studio, Beca had never called out of work. Beca loved her work, just as she had her entire life and she had cultivated that love into her studio after years of dedication to get her there. Beca had refused to put any of her inheritance towards her career as a producer and the pack followed that promise as well. Through their years, they studied hard on at their own passions and helped one another with each others. 

At Barden, the girls found themselves attached to the Bellas and even though it brought some hardships in the pack, they all loved the Bellas. They won three national championships and after an awkward performance for the president, a world acapella competition. They lived on campus, off campus, and moved out of Atlanta after college. After a while of living in New York City, they went on tour with the Bellas again and that was where Beca got her break with DJ Khaled. After they toured together, Beca worked with him in the studio and finally, she made enough to open  _ Titanium Records  _ and soon after, Beca was known around the world as DJ Titanium, producer of top albums for famous artists around the world. Meanwhile, the pack had moved onward and upward in the world. Stacie worked her way up the ranks as a doctor and worked at whichever hospital they lived closest to at the time, finally making her way to be an Attending. After college, Aubrey worked some odd jobs at a campground for one, retail manager for another, eventually found herself as a successful businesswoman at a top tier law firm. Jesse was having a bit of issue himself in finding jobs with film, but he got a starting position in a writers room as an editor recently after a while of trying to break into the field after moving to Los Angeles. The first song Beca produced at Titanium Records was Emily’s first original song,  _ Flashlight  _ that the Bellas sang at the World competition senior year. Emily had some doubts along the way, but Aubrey quickly stepped in as her mentor to keep her writing music. Benji and Luke were still working out exactly what it was they wanted to do with their lives, but that was quite alright. 

“It will pass,” Beca grumbled, her eyes not shifting to look her Beta in the eyes. Besides, if she did, Stacie would know that Beca had lost the ability to control her eye color and therefore her eyes were red. 

“It won’t. You know that this is because of you and-“ 

“Don’t.” This was a command, “Don’t say it.” Beca pressed the spacebar on her laptop and music scraped against Stacie’s ears and made Beca’s headache worse _. _

_ I tried to make a life in the midwest, But the Rust Belt keeps breaking promises, I can't seem to find out where my footing is… So don't let, don't let me cave in.  _

Beca paused the music and Stacie sighed. She didn’t know many Wonder Years songs, but she knew that one by heart. They all did. It was tattooed on Chloe’s arm and Stacie knew that was the reason Beca was messing with the song in the first place. Stacie sighed and wilted back to the door and slipped out. 

All the meanwhile, Chloe and Anne sat in first-class seating on a plane from New York City to Los Angeles on hour two. Chloe had already thrown up from how nauseous she already was in addition to the motion of the plane. All the while, her mother in law rubbed her back and hummed  _ it’s okay  _ and  _ it's alright  _ followed by  _ It’ll be over soon.  _ Though,  _ It’ll be over soon  _ just made Chloe feel worse because getting over her sickness meant seeing Beca for the first time in two years. And Chloe wasn’t only worried about seeing Beca. She was worried about seeing the rest of her pack too. Because when Beca and Chloe separated, it didn’t just mean not seeing Beca. It meant not seeing Stacie, Aubrey, Jesse, Luke. They were all her family. And seeing any of them caused another knot to form in her stomach. A knot with happy memories that caused her pain and terrible memories that made it feel impossible for Chloe to ever look any of them in the eye again. 

Chloe settled into her seat and tried to make herself comfortable, leaning into the window of the plane and swallowing the lump in her throat. She looked over her body and the scars of her previous life that decorated her skin. The brand of the pack that she,  _ by wolf law  _ was supposed to lead. The mating mark that she could see through the mirror on the window, that  _ by wolf law  _ bound her and Beca forever. The bite mark on her wrist that made her a wolf in the first place. Beca had left a mark on Chloe, physically and emotionally, that would tie the two girls forever. Chloe swallowed hard at the thought as she put in her headphones. In just a few hours she would land in Los Angeles. In just a few hours, she would see her wife. Chloe would know that they reached the Los Angeles skyline when her brand burned and she woke up to the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review! Any new guesses on why they broke up? What will happen next? 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @ezrajclarke and feel free to put asks in on there as well! I will answer them sooner than I can answer on here.


	3. Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo - enjoy! Love posting a chapter just before going to Pride with my girlfriend ;) Happy Pride everyone!
> 
> Please Review! Your reviews mean the world to me!
> 
> All the chapters are named after songs on a playlist for bechloe haha

Beca, at first, thought it was a flook. She was sure there wasn’t a single possibility in the world that her brand was warm. It hadn’t been in two years and she figured by now that it would never change. But as the warmth spread through her shoulder and into the rest of her body, Beca couldn’t mistake it. Before long, it was burning and Beca was positive that her mate was in Los Angeles. There was no denying it. Her wife was close enough for her wolf to call to Beca and it put Beca’s instincts on edge. Being sick and unable to control herself already, Beca couldn’t take anymore. As the sunset drew near, Beca left through the back of the house and ran into the woods, transforming into her wolf as she left. She needed a run, that’s all. She’d be back before nightfall. She’d be back.

“Plenty of people separate,” Chloe explained to Anne as they sat across from one another as one of Anne’s drivers took them across Los Angeles. 

“Not mates.” Was Anne’s only real response as she looked out the tinted window at the signs and landscape Los Angeles had to offer. 

Chloe swallowed and looked out the window too, her eyes now red as she’d lost control of their color in how terrible she felt. Her brand burned like a thousand suns and it only got worse as the car drove on. Beca was near and Chloe almost couldn’t handle the feeling. It was almost like her body was punishing her for being away from her mate for so long already. It wasn’t long before they were pulling into a neighborhood Chloe couldn’t forget in a thousand years. It was the house she’d called home many times before. The house she missed day in and day out while she lived in New York City. 

The house was gorgeous and the perfect fit for the entire pack. Long glass pane windows, double French doors, six bedrooms not including the downstairs rec room or Beca’s studio. The place was huge and seeing it now was like a dream for Chloe. She could smell the freshly cut grass and the flower garden out front was flourishing. The house itself was more expensive than anything Chloe could’ve imagined and the pack was proud to have paid it off themselves with the money they made from the work they did. They saved the trust fund for emergencies and other things that may come up that they needed. They prided themselves on being able to handle everything else on their own. Chloe missed the warm fresh air that Los Angeles had to offer, even though the change of seasons was upon them. Back in New York, it was getting too cold for Chloe’s liking. Needless to say, she missed her home. Her true home. 

Though, just as she remembered the house and how she’d thought about it a million times over the past two years, she also saw the subtle differences. The changes that came with being gone for two years - a fresh coat of paint, the tree a bit taller in the backyard, new roofing, a new front porch. Chloe couldn’t help but notice how two years couldn’t disappear from her mind and no matter how much reminiscing she did, she couldn’t go back to the way things were. This was just for a few days. Then she could go home and pretend she never left. 

***

_ Four Years Ago, _

_ “Chloe! Chlo? You’re not going to believe this! Where are you?” Beca stormed around their tiny apartment in New York City, opening every other door to look for her girlfriend. In New York City they had opted to move into small apartments rather than one big house to save money and live closer to the inside of the city. Along the way they had befriends Fat Amy from the Bellas who needed a roommate when they moved out of Atlanta. So, Chloe and Beca, being the most control, agreed to move in with Fat Amy, a human, in a tiny apartment with a pull out couch, while the rest of their pack moved into little apartments close by. At first it made both Alphas nervous not to live with their pack, but they ultimately decided it was for the best and that it wouldn’t last too long. Besides, they trusted the pack would come to them with any needs.  _

_ Now, this was after the USO tour with the Bellas and the pack hadn’t been back in the city for too long, being as they all went on tour with Beca. It had only been a few months since the hype had died and they came back to their home in New York City. “What baby? What’s up?” Chloe had been folding laundry behind one of the curtains they had semi deemed a separate room from the kitchen.  _

_ “DJ Khaled wants me to move to L.A. and produce with him!” Beca practically squealed it and Chloe has never seen her girlfriend so excited in their life together. _

 

_ “aca-seriously ?” The phrase aca had been coined in their earlier years as Bellas and they had trouble letting it all go. _

_ “I’m serious, dude.” Dude was a phrase Beca and only Beca seemed to use too often and always, no matter who she was talking to, “He asked me today. He wants to sign me as a producer at his studio in L.A. He even wants to pay for traveling expenses. I still can’t believe it’s real.” Beca couldn’t even sit down next to her girlfriend with the energy that ran through her veins, “We can finally move to L.A.”  _

_ “That’s amazing, Beca. I’m so proud of you.” Chloe stood and hugged her girlfriend.  _

_ Beca only squeezes Chloe tighter around her shoulders, scrunching up Chloe’s tank top in the process, “I wouldn’t have done it without you. If you and the Bellas hadn’t encouraged me to do it, even without you, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere.”  _

_ “You’re getting somewhere because you’re talented Becs. I’ve never doubted that.” Chloe confirmed with a slight squeeze on her girlfriend, whispering the words in her ear.  _

_ “Are you going to be able to do this? I don’t want to uproot everyone’s lives here. We just got back and you just got into Graduate school.. can we even do this?” Beca pulled back, but stayed in Chloe’s arms, just far enough away so she could look Chloe in the eyes. _

_ “I can transfer. Jesse already wants to be in L.A., Aubrey and Stacie can work anywhere. We’ll figure it out Becs. I promise. But you’re doing this.” Chloe confirmed as she watched Beca’s smile glide right back onto her face. _

_ “Okay.” Beca nodded, “I have to go call him back and tell him.”  _

_ “Good,” Chloe smacked Beca’s butt as she walked away, “Go call him. Hurry up! We need to celebrate!”  _

_ *** _

Chloe grabbed her suitcase out of the trunk of the car and the driver pulled off. She stepped up the sidewalk, her bag by her side, and stared at the house with a long sigh. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this. Her body burned, her wolf yearned, her eyes were as red as ripe as strawberries. All at the same time, the sickness hadn’t lessened. The bruises under her eyes were dark and her skin was pale from lack of food left in her stomach, along with nausea. She took a long deep breath. It was getting later into the evening so unfortunately, she arrived at the perfect time for Beca’s mandatory pack dinner that happened every night. A tradition that had started before Chloe joined the pack and wouldn’t stop because she left. 

“Chloe?” Chloe has trouble taking her eyes off the house, as if it would disappear, to give her attention a familiar voice on her right. Chloe swallowed as she recognized it and the blonde that it had come from. A few feet away on the sidewalk, Aubrey Posen stood, just coming back from a walk with a Schnauzer dog by her side and not on a leash. Chloe gulped at seeing Aubrey for the first time in nearly two years. Out of all the pack that tried to reach out, Aubrey was the one who didn’t give up. Aubrey has tried over and over, call after call. The blonde had never given up on Chloe, even when everyone else let her be. Aubrey was her best friend, through and through. Chloe held her breath as Aubrey looked her over, a predatory look in her eye.

***

_ Seven Years Ago, _

_ “Chloe, Don’t.” Aubrey grumbled, storming out of the performance center of the ICCA’s, “She ruined our entire performance and she got us kicked out of the competition.” Posen scorched under breath, “Fucking Bulletproof, what the hell was that?” The Bellas had just gotten beaten out by another group that wasn’t half as good. _

_ “Aubrey, she was just trying to help,” Chloe yelled after her as they entered into the coolness of the outside air.  _

_ “No, I’m sick of it. She thinks she gets to do whatever she wants just because she’s-“ Aubrey shut her mouth before the last word, though she might as well of said it considering both girls knew what she was about to say. The blonde froze when the words tumbled out, her eyes squeezed shut at the mistake. _

_ Chloe stopped a few feet behind her, “Because she’s an Alpha? Is that what you were going to say?”  _

_ Aubrey turned halfway, her eyes filled with apologies she was too proud to say, “She just always has to control everything, Chloe. I’m sorry, I know she’s your mate, but that doesn’t mean she gets to control everything!” The frustration came pouring out of the beta to her best friend, “Do you remember when our only dream was to win nationals? Guess what, it’s gone! She just ruined it! I told you she was too alternative for the Bellas!”  _

_ “Bree,” Chloe shook her head and sighed, “I know you don’t like giving someone else control, but tell me honestly, did you think that sounded bad back there?” Chloe took a few steps forward, “It was with time and rhythm, it was surprising but not necessarily in a bad way. Was that really so bad?”  _

_ Aubrey rolled her eyes, “It’s just the very concept of stepping in on a place that she had no right-“  _

_ “You think she’s taking away your authority.” Chloe wasn’t beading around the bush anymore, “Listen, I get it. The Bellas have been your family, but Bree, do you really think it’s because you don’t think her ideas would have helped us win? Or were you afraid she’d take the Bellas away from you, because trust me, she’s just trying to help you.”  _

_ Aubrey took a deep breath, “You’re right.”  _

_ “I’m sorry we didn’t make it through, but I know you’ve had a hard time accepting Beca as an Alpha and I think it’s time we work on that.” This was Chloe’s Alpha now. She was kind and caring, but still authoritative and strict. In some ways, she had become more of a mother of the pack, while Beca took on the role of a father. _

_ Aubrey’s shoulders slouched, her eyes dripping away the yellow that had threatened to spill over, “Okay.” _

_ *** _

“Wonder?” Chloe called out to the schnauzer dog at Aubre’s side and the dog came dashing down the sidewalk. Chloe bent down on one knee when the dog crawled at her leg and she started to pet him. The dog was clearly excited to see her, “Wonder, buddy, you’ve gotten so big.” She smirked, her eyes lighting up with him as they started to play.

“You’ve been gone a long time.” Chloe stood up and barely had the time to take her eyes off Wonder before Aubrey nearly knocked her off the ground in a bone breaking hug. Chloe staggered, but stayed standing as Aubrey hugged her around her arms and left her with only the ability to let it happen, “Chlo, I missed you so much.” Now, Chloe could feel the tears dripping off Aubrey’s chin and onto Chloe’s shoulder. 

Chloe sighed and let her shoulders relax in her best friends arms, “I missed you too, Bree. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Aubrey hummed, rubbing Chloe’s back in the process. She pulled back to get a look at Chloe and looked her up and down, “You too, huh? You’re back because you’re sick.” Aubrey noted, “Your theory was right?” Aubrey looked passed Chloe to Anne who stood behind her. 

“Yes. They’ve been away from each other too long.” Anne confirmed, her head still looking down to give the two girls a bit of privacy. 

“You knew about this?” Chloe asked Aubrey, her cerulean eyes boring into the best friend she hadn’t seen in ages. 

Aubrey dropped her smile for a more serious tone, “Anne told me when she was looking for your new address.” Aubrey admitted, “I didn’t know when or if she’d even be able to convince you, but looking at you it doesn’t look like you had much of a choice. Beca doesn’t look much better. She called out of work today.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow, “Really?” 

“Mhm.” Aubrey said, “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” 

Chloe looked down at the ground, her heart racing with everything she wanted and couldn’t say all at once, “I don’t have much of a choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dog = Wonder = Wonder Years
> 
> Next chapter will be big ;) I promised I wouldn't keep you waiting too long. Will post soon! 
> 
> Please keep up the reviews! I read and love them all.


	4. You were the one thing that I got right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn you look holy/ Hit from behind with light/ You're a painting of a saint/ And I'm nervous/ stumbling over my lines/ When I tell you I love you/ When we stare at Catalina/ The city lost to the sea/ Carried out by the tides/ You were the one thing I got right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo and I'm sorry....
> 
> Please Review!

Even at sunset, the sun of Los Angeles was blistering on the backyard of the house, just before it ducked under the trees to leave it in a purple glow of the oncoming night. Chloe put a hand like a sun visor on her forehead, shadowing her red eyes beneath them. Beyond the pool, she was staring at the treeline, waiting. She could tell that somewhere beyond the darkness that engulfed the forest, Beca was there. Her instincts told her she was there, in wolf form, coming back towards her. The closer Beca came to the backyard, the further the burning spread through Chloe’s body and she knew Beca could feel it. She knew there was no doubt that Beca knew she was there, waiting for her to return. Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat at the very thought. Just the idea of seeing the brunette again made it hard for her to breath. With ever rise of her chest, a sharp pain filled in with the air and she tried not to let the tears well up in her eyes.  

Finally, it happened. Chloe could see the familiar wolf on the tree line, her fur shedding from the Los Angeles heat. The long white fur that grew into brown tips. Chloe crossed her arms and put a hand over her mouth, her fingertips across her lips. Every instinct, every urge in her body, ever thought in her mind was of her wolfs. It told her to  _ claim,  _ to take back what was hers, to  _ renew  _ her family and recreated what once was, but if Chloe knew anything in the world, there was no going back. The wolf crossed the treeline with a grimace  - if Chloe had ever seen a wolf angry, this was it. Beca’s red eyes narrowed as she walked, as proud as her Alpha heritage allowed her, her tail high in the air and her chest puffed out. 

With the sickness, the haze of a fever dream, Chloe couldn’t tell for sure what she was doing. She didn’t quite feel of sound mind or body standing in front of Beca after two years without seeing her wife. It felt unreal. Her arms and legs were numb, she barely had enough strength to keep herself from transforming. As Beca approached her, she couldn’t move from her spot at the edge of the patio, watching her wife walk toward her, their eyes never leaving one another. Watching Beca walk, Chloe couldn’t help but think of the first time Beca had ever turned in front of her, telling her the truth about what she really was. Seven years ago, in the forest behind Barden University, Chloe could hardly believe that it had been that long since she and Beca had first started dating. 

***

_ Seven Years Ago, _

_ “Are you sure you all are going to be okay?” Chloe asked as she recounted their bags for the seventh time and rechecking to make sure she had her phone, keys, and wallet.  _

_ “Chlo, we’ll be fine. We’re all adults here,” Aubrey soothed. The entire pack was in the living room of their rather cramped apartment together in Atlanta as the first and one of the only snows trickled against the windows. It was near Christmas and that was one of the only things Chloe missed about being back home. Atlanta didn’t get the kind of snow Colorado did and it never really felt like Christmas without a proper six feet of snow. In all honesty, Chloe was starting to feel guilty about leaving the pack for Christmas to spend it with her own family, but this was the first time Beca would meet her parents and that was important to her. Especially considering so much had happened since the last time she had seen her family. I mean it’s not like she could tell her family ‘oh, by the way, mom, dad, this is my Mate, Beca. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her. I know it because we’re soulmates. Oh, and by the way, I’m also a wolf now.’ No, that was a bit complicated. But at very least, she could introduce them to Beca Mitchell, her beautiful, sweet, kind, and amazing girlfriend.  _

_ “I know, I know.” Chloe nodded, “but, I don’t know, we haven’t really left since…” The redhead got distracted fiddling with the zipper of her carry on. _

_ “Since you became an Alpha.” Beca chuckled to herself, her eyes drifting across her mate and smirking. There were a few different kinds of Chloe that Beca had characterized by her outfits. There was the Chloe she knew when they met, in outfits of femme beauty that illuminated the redhead’s features. Then, there was punk Chloe, who wore old band T-shirts and dark eyeliner - which Beca thought was just as hot as femme Chloe. Although, Beca’s favorite Chloe was the night after sex Chloe when she was wearing Beca’s shirt and usually nothing underneath. Beca couldn’t think of a more beautiful Chloe, with a mess of red hair and bruises of love all over her body. Currently, though, Chloe was band T-shirt Chloe with a Wonder Years shirts that Beca could’ve sworn had to be six years old by the amount of fading that had come of it. She theorized that Chloe had gotten the shirt the first time she’d seen The Wonder Years in concert and refused to throw it out no matter how faded it was. On the front was The Wonder Years logo, one that Beca assumed was an earlier album because she didn’t know the logo well. On the back were tour dates that Beca couldn’t even make out what year it was for. Chloe bit her lip when she looked at Beca and she nodded, slowly, “It’s okay. I feel that way too.”  _

_ “Alright, mom, dad, we’ll be fine.” Stacie mused, her eyes rolling in a kidding fashion, her lips curling into a smirk, “It’s one week, how much havoc could we cause?”  _

_ Beca looked up to the left, as if remembering a fond memory, “I seem to remember you all causing more havoc in less than a day.” Then she dropped the amusement, “Just remember,”  _

_ Jesse jumped in before she could speak the words they’d heard a million times over, “ _ _ Don’t get caught, don’t tell anyone we’re wolves, don’t do anything stupid. Did I forget anything?”  _

_ Beca chuckled to herself and Chloe laughed too, “That Just about sums it up. But please, just be careful.”  _

_ “We will,” Emily put a reassuring hand on Chloe’s shoulder and smiled, genuinely. _

_ “We promise,” Benji added with his signature, awkward smirk.  _

_ “Alright, come on, if we don’t go now we’ll be late for our flight.”  _

_ *** _

Chloe dropped to her knees, hardly by her own understanding and falling into the memory of the first time she’d seen Beca’s wolf form. This time though, her posture was slouched, shoulder below her collarbone, head to the floor. If asked later, Chloe wouldn’t be able to explain her actions. It was instinctual, honest, coming from her wolf within. Beca approached her though, all the same, and to Chloe’s surprise, Beca didn’t just pass her by and ignore her existence. 

Instead, Beca stopped beside her, just before walking passed, and put her snout to Chloe’s neck. Chloe felt the coldness of Beca’s nose and closed her eyes at the feeling. She couldn’t be for sure, but she could’ve sworn she felt Beca’s canines against the scar of her mating mark and helplessly, she turned her head to the side as a show of submission. But Beca only sniffed on her neck and Chloe knew what it was for. Beca’s wolf, not even Necessarily Beca herself, needed to know if Chloe was  _ unharmed  _ and  _ untouched  _ after two years of being apart. She needed to know if Chloe had been faithful, but by their scents, they both knew the truth. Neither of them could bring themselves to be unfaithful to one another. They were wives, they were mates, they were  _ soulmates.  _ Separated or not. 

Chloe has to force herself to open her eyes when Beca had passed her and she heard a twig snap beneath the Alpha’s paw. Soon enough she heard the mixture of bones shifting and teeth-crunching. Chloe stood slowly from her position and waited until she knew Beca had wrapped a black robe that hung by the back door around herself. Chloe turned and realized that Beca was watching and waiting for her to say something,  _ anything.  _

At this moment, the girls draped their eyes over one another, seeing the pain and agony that being apart had caused each other now while both still too proud to call. They could see how their eyes were sunken into their heads, their skin as pale and cold as ice. Then, their eyes met. Red to red, Alpha to Alpha, mate to mate. Chloe’s stomach filled with anguish and pain at the look. Beca gulped at seeing Chloe. If either of them could stand to let go, to forget everything, to run into each other's arms and just  _ go back.  _

***

_ Two Years and Five months ago,   _

_ It wasn’t the first time Chloe had found herself, pinned to the locked door of her and Beca’s room in the new Los Angeles house. It also wasn’t the first time that Beca had been rough, tearing at Chloe’s shirt in an attempt to pull it off. Not that Chloe minded much at all. In fact, she loved when Beca was rough and possessive of her. Because it was more than that. It was about being one another’s. It was about the absolute need that came with falling so deeply in love with one another. Because sex had never just been sex to either of them. The look in Beca’s eyes, hooded with pleasure and desire for Chloe was another way that Chloe fell for Beca. And Chloe didn’t find Beca more beautiful than when she was moaning and begging for Chloe.  _

_ “I love you.” Beca breathed in her ear, the smirking at Chloe’s now shirtless torso.   _

_ Chloe bit her lip at her lover who had all but stopped what she was doing to pronounce her love. It warmed Chloe’s hard to think that even in the heat of the moment, Beca wanted to stop and make her absolute love clear to her wife, “I love you too,” Chloe smiled, pushing her forehead against Beca’s, “I love you so much,” As she did so, she fondled with the wedding ring on Beca’s left hand, twisting it and enjoying the rock felt between her fingertips. Beca kissed her hard once again, dragging her teeth across Chloe’s lower lip and demanding inner access. Which Chloe happily gave away, her eyes closing to take in what if felt like to have Beca’s soft lips against her own. Beca changed gears just than to move her lips down Chloe’s neck and over the always present mating mark on Chloe’s collar bone.  _

_ “I want to start trying.”  _

_ The words hit Beca like a ton of bricks and she dropped everything immediately to furrow her brow at Chloe, “Trying…?” Beca tried out the word in her own mouth, feeling the way it tasted on her tongue. _

_ Chloe breathed out a nervous laugh as their eyes locked, cerulean blues to the same blue as the ocean, “I want to have a baby… with you.” She smiled, but the nerves were still present in her eyes and the way she twiddled her thumbs. Their hands were now most definitely to themselves as the conversation drifted into something heavy.  _

_ To Chloe’s surprise, Beca’s seriously lips twisted into a smile with all of her teeth and a chuckle that showed off the brunettes dimbles, “Are you sure?” Beca asked, “I mean… you have to be sure if we want to…” Beca started to motion between them as a sign of ‘being intimate’ which meant ‘making a baby’ _

_ “Only if you want,” Chloe swallowed in the newly thick air. _

_ But Beca only kissed her again, her lips moving to take Chloe by surprise, but was never unwelcomed, “Yes. Yes, dude. Okay, yes. Let’s do this.”  _

_ “Are you sure?” Chloe giggled, her heart skipping a beat at Beca’s sudden enthusiasm. _

_ Beca only nodded, her dimples rising to meet the height of Chloe’s, “Yes. Let’s make a baby.” _

_ *** _

“I’ll sleep on the couch in the master suite.” She avoided saying  _ our room, “ _ That’ll be close enough.” It was the only words Chloe could manage to say to Beca from across the lawn and it felt so terribly awkward. Beca knew her better than anyone else in the world and to not be able to speak truly and deeply about her feelings, to change the way their interactions went just felt wrong. It felt like she wasn’t allowed to say what she truly thought or felt. As if saying true, heartfelt words would mean nothing to the brunette at all after two years of being apart. The helpless distance that stood between her and Beca now felt like it could never close again, “At least, until this…” Chloe couldn’t find the words to described such a sickness.

Beca looked down at Chloe’s shoes and back up, but not into Chloe’s eyes. Not after the first time they’d seen each other. Beca couldn’t look Chloe in the eye again without breaking down. Beca swallowed and rewrapped the robe around herself, “That… sounds like a plan.” The brunette muttered before turning back to the double back doors and opening it up. Chloe felt the way her wolf yearned once again to follow her wife. To go inside and chase her down, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. They just weren’t the same and Chloe wasn’t sure they could ever go back to the way it used to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Please Review :)
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @ezrajclarke


	5. Never Saw it Coming.

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago, _

_ Beca couldn’t keep the tears out from blurring her vision as she drove. She couldn’t stop them from falling and the rain pounding on the windshield didn’t help. She was trying her best to focus on everything but as she drove to the hospital, she couldn’t help her mind wrapping around the worst possible outcome. Her heart was throbbing in her chest, pain and fear making it worse. She was blowing through stop signs, slamming on her breaks at red lights, and speeding every moment she wasn’t at a complete halt. She was replaying the words of a voicemail over and over in her head. She was in the recording studio doing work when she got the call,  just finishing up with a client. She had rejected the unknown caller, only to listen to the voicemail a few moments later, “Hello, this is Doctor Lewis with Huntington Memorial Hospital. I am calling for Beca Mitchell because she is listed on the emergency contacts for Chloe Mitchell? I am afraid something happened...” Her throat was dry just thinking about it.  _

_ The drive felt longer than it really was, despite Beca doing everything she possibly could to get there faster. She was sweating in the eighty-degree air, her skin sticking to the leather of her Jeep. She could vaguely hear cars beeping at her and she could see the blurred outline of strangers flipping her off. She was being reckless and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it. Something had happened to Chloe. That’s all she could think of over and over in her mind. It was all that mattered. So she sped down the roads in the fastest way she knew how to get to the hospital. _

_ When she got there, she threw the door open and nearly tripped on her way to the front desk. Her words were just as frantic as her mind was. She was stuttering and she couldn’t help thinking that the lady behind the desk probably hated her. She wasn’t even sure she was in the right section or spot and she wasn’t even sure she cared. She bit her lip after she finally got a real sentence out, “I’m looking for Chloe Mitchell. They said something happened,” Her heart was pounding _ . 

_ *** _

Walking inside, Beca was met with her mother and Aubrey, who had been most obviously watching Beca and Chloe out of one of the back windows. Anne and Aubrey both turned to Beca almost immediately, guilty looks smeared across their faces. Beca rolled her eyes at them as she entered the house, “I should’ve known,” She muttered under her breath and all she could think was  _ Chloe wouldn’t have come back to me on her own. She had to of been pushed into it, huh,  _ a truly heartbreaking thought to the brunette. 

Before Aubrey or Anne could come up with a defense, an argument, or really just anything to say to Beca, Beca moved on, “Beca, wait,” She stormed up the stairs and up a grand staircase that eventually led to the master suite. She didn’t stop until she was inside the double doors of her own room. She didn’t stop until they were closed behind her and for the first time since she’d saw Chloe in the flesh, she could  _ breathe.  _

Beca had imagined, ever since she’d started dating Chloe  _ Beale  _ seven years ago, that they’d grow old together. That they would live with their pack, gain new members, live out their dreams, travel across the world. Five years being  _ with  _ Chloe wasn’t long enough. No time in the world would be long enough when it came to being with Chloe Beale. She was the most amazing woman in the world. Beca couldn’t think twice of that and never stopped believing it, even though Chloe had broken her heart when she left two years prior. The two girls had spent two-thirds of their marriage apart. When they said their vows, this wasn’t what Beca had in mind. It wasn’t what she imagined their marriage would be like. None of this was. 

_ *** _

_ Two Years  and Four Months Ago, _

_ Beca had to wait the longest seven minutes of her life before someone offered to walk her back to the correct area to talk to Chloe’s doctor. She didn’t know who they were, despite being extra grateful for them. All she knew was that they were in scrubs and that at the end of the seventh hallway they walked down was another counter with another receptionist who checked her in. They told her a doctor would be out to speak with her soon and her hands were shaking. She got out her phone to call someone, but she could hardly hold it steady, nor think of who she could call first. Luckily when she looked up, another familiar frantic girl was approaching her, eyes wide in fear. _

_ “Beca,” Aubrey huffed and seeing her freak out Beca knew why Aubrey was the other contact on Chloe’s emergency list. At very least, Aubrey was her closest friend and much closer than Chloe’s parents were in Colorado. Beca could see the mirror of her panic in Aubrey’s eyes, “Did they tell you- Do you know-” She couldn’t make out the question and all Beca could get herself to do was shake her head no as she wiped tears off her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if she had ever cried in front of her pack before, but everything in her had exploded by now.  _

_ A few feet behind Aubrey, Beca could see Stacie walking in the lobby with two bags in her hands, “Brey, your bag,” Stacie had mumbled, out of breath from following the blonde in - just as frantic, just as worried.   _

_ Beca brushed herself off and buttoned her black blazer with quivering hands. She was uncomfortable and unable to focus on anything solid, “They said her doctor would be out.” Beca finally got out as Stacie handed Aubrey her bag.  _

_ Stacie put a hand on the small of Beca’s bag and rubbed while Beca scraped her hands through her hair, “Eyes.” She mumbled, knowing full well Beca wouldn’t want to be talked down. Beca only nodded and tried her best to push here eyes back to their original ocean blue.  _

_ “Mrs. Mitchell?” Another member of the hospital, dressed in dark blue scrubs from head to toe, approached behind them.  _

_ “Yes!” The sound that came out of her throat was way louder than she had intended. She took a breath then, and calmed herself, “Yes, that’s me.”  _

_ *** _

Chloe walked into the house minutes after Beca had stormed off. Though, Chloe did so with a different stride. She was gentler, calmer, more…  _ broken.  _ Upon entering through the glass doors of the patio, Chloe was met with the same two faces Beca had run into moments before. Aubrey and Anne were still standing in the kitchen, leaning on granite countertops and whispering between themselves before they turned to give Chloe attention. Chloe swallowed when nobody spoke and she felt the tension once again filling her stomach. The redhead looked down at the dark tile floor to avoid their eyes which felt piercing with heat, “Did either of you see where…” There was more to that sentence, but considering everyone knew how it ended, she figured she didn’t need to go on with it. 

“Your…” Aubrey stopped speaking as soon as she had started and Chloe knew that she was trying to say  _ your room.  _ Chloe never knew a simple word could hurt, “The master suite.” Aubrey corrected herself. Chloe finally looked up to meet Aubrey’s eyes and all she saw from her blonde best friend was absolute pity. Truth be told, Chloe more out of place than she ever had in her life. She felt like she didn’t belong there. Not just in their kitchen or in the house, but in Los Angeles. In their home, or what once was. If it hadn’t been for feeling so beyond sick, she wouldn’t be there. 

Chloe took a long breath in and waited for her lungs to fill with oxygen. She couldn’t think clearly. She hadn’t been able to think clearly for the days that she’d been sick. She couldn’t think about anything else beyond nausea and the migraine. Nothing felt right and she wondered how long she would have to stay before she felt better. Before Beca felt better. Before she could stop interrupting the lives that she had already done a number ruining. 

***

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago _

_ “Mrs. Mitchell, I’m Chloe Beale’s doctor and you all are?” The doctor asked, motioning to the other two girls standing there. _

_ “Her best friends,” Aubrey confirmed, “Her parents live in Colorado and I can call them when we know more, but we’re the closest-”  _

_ “Alright,” The doctor put an arm on Aubrey’s shoulder to calm her down, “Mrs. Mitchell, has anyone come to inform you of what happened?” Beca shook her head and he went on, “It’s been a long night with the storm, excuse the chaos…” His words were mostly incoherent to Beca’s ears as he said long and big words that she couldn’t quite understand. Was this really happening? Was Chloe okay? She wished he’d get to the fucking point. Beca couldn’t even think far enough to realize that she had to get Chloe out of the hospital to keep anyone from catching on to her being a wolf. What could’ve caused Chloe to come to the ER anyway, knowing that she was a wolf and would recover? _

_ “I can only take one person back with me…” Beca could hardly focus on the conversation before she realized the three of them agreed that Beca should be the one to go, “Follow me.” As he walked in front of her, Beca could see the rest of the pack rushing in the doorway and running to Aubrey and Stacie. At this moment, Beca thanked whatever God’s there were for Aubrey calling them. Beca had no sense to think anything through.  _

_ Beca followed him and spend the first few feet down the hallway looking back at Aubrey and Stacie, who nodded at her in a way to silently tell her it would be alright. Beca gulped and turned back to the doctor, but he had been talking since they started walking and she didn’t know what he said. When he paused, she said, “I’m sorry, I’m just having trouble-” She started and her hands were fidgeting and she forgot the rest of what she had to say. After a long silence, she remembered and added, “Trouble focusing.” _

_ *** _

Chloe turned the corner of the living room by the front door and turned towards the grand staircase that went to the bedrooms upstairs. She walked upstairs and hesitated to go down a hallway that she had spent many nights going down before. A hallway that she had spent nights pushed up against the walls of and gripping Beca’s hand as she led her there. A hallway filled with the rooms of people whom she’d never regret calling her best friends -  _ her family.  _ Chloe closed her eyes tight and felt tears spill over the edges of her lower eyelids. Every corner she turned was another part of the house that filled her with memories of her and Beca’s life together. Every hardwood floor and colored wall sent a recollection to her brain of the time she had spent living there. In addition to all of the reminders of her and Beca’s life, the house was also filled with echoes of her family. Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays. Chloe made it halfway down the hallway before she couldn’t take it any longer. Her vision blurred when she turned into the hallway bathroom to crash on her knees, a hand clutching the bathtub to keep her balance. Involuntarily, the redhead emptied the contents of her stomach between dry heaves.

**_***_ **

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago, _

_ “That’s okay,” The brown haired doctor put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly, “Chloe will be okay...but… there’s something else.” Again Beca felt like she was suffocating. Like all of the breath she had was gone in an instant as he opened his mouth. This time, Beca knew the words before they came out of his mouth. But when they finally did come out of his mouth Beca couldn’t help her reaction. She couldn’t help slamming her back against the white wall of the hospital with a hard thunk. She couldn’t help the tears streaming down her face and turning it the same color as her eyes. She couldn’t keep control over herself and she was luckier than she’d ever been that she didn’t transform right than and there. Her eyes twisted shut as water dripped down her neck and soaked into her blazer. Beca slipped down the wall and down on to the cold tile floors. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Every part of her body hurt. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as his words repeated themselves over and over in her head... _

_ “She lost the baby.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Thoughts? 
> 
> Please Review.


	6. I Hope You're Missing Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Friends! Love the Reviews, Love the love! For those of you who are keeping up with the fic and loving it, I appreciate you! Just a small reminder that I am human and I have other stuff going on in life... unfortunately, I don't get paid to write fics, so I can't update as much as I wish I could. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Please keep up the reviews. When you review, I am more likely to post a new chapter, but please don't rush me :( I'm trying!

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago, _

_ “Oh, Chloe.” Beca walked into the room slowly, her heels clicking against the tile floor. Finally, alone, she let the tears slip down her cheeks without fear of loving weak. Her face puffed up in an array of reds and pinks. She was lucky she hadn’t worn makeup. She looked around at the busy hallway behind her and then back at Chloe, who hadn’t woken up. She didn’t know what to do. Her wife was unconscious and Beca didn’t know when she was going to wake up. What was she supposed to do? What was the correct response? She couldn’t stop crying, that was for sure. _

_ Letting the door close behind her, she sat down in a chair by Chloe’s bedside and watched. She watched the redhead breathing in and out and Beca picked up the rhythm to steady her lungs. She looked down and saw Chloe’s hand then, covered a bruise that spread out from her wrist, most likely from the car accident. Even though the Alpha knew Chloe would heal soon, it hurt to see. Beca looked around, as if to figure out if anyone was going to come back for her, then put her hand on top of Chloe’s and held it. She looked back at Chloe’s face with the black eye and gash on her forehead. She felt stupid talking, but if Chloe could hear her, she wasn’t going to miss the opportunity, “Hey Chlo,” She mumbled and tried to think about what to say, “I, uh, I missed you today, Chlo.” _

_ She cleared her throat and tried not to cry anymore. Chloe didn’t move as patients did in the movies. She didn’t wake up suddenly or move her fingers to hold Beca’s hand. She was still asleep and Beca’s hands were shaking, “It’s stupid, I don’t remember what I said to you this morning.” She wiped the tears from her face, “I wish I knew where you were going. What you were doing that led to...” It was a long pause before she was talked again. She grunted a laugh in between tears as she said, “Chlo, I-“ the words caught in her throat, “Chloe, I should’ve protected you.”  _

_ Over the next twenty-four hours, Beca didn’t leave Chloe’s hospital room for almost anything. Hour after hour she held Chloe’s hand and talked to her about everything she could think of. In between their talks, the Bellas and the pack visited individually. First Aubrey and Stacie, then Emily and Benji, Jesse and Luke, then Jessica and Ashley, and finally, always the late one, Amy. Aubrey kept Beca informed on Chloe’s family from when they had taken off to when they had landed. The doctor got someone to bring in a cot for Beca to sleep on, though she didn’t sleep much at all. Aubrey and Stacie brought her laptop and breakfast in the morning when she came to visit. Emily brought over lunch when she got a break from work.  _

_ *** _

Chloe wasn’t sure when someone had pulled her hair back while she puked. She had guess it was somewhere between getting rid of all she had in her stomach and the stomach bile that came after. The only thing she was sure of was the burn that came from the hand rubbing her back in a conciliate circle. _ It’s alright’s _ and  _ it’s okay’s _ came somewhere in the midst of it all, hummed under Beca’s breath to soothe her wife’s pain as she went through the motions. Chloe could only assume that her mate had heard the sounds of her agony and couldn’t stay away for long. When the episode finally finished, Chloe mumbled to Beca while still hovering over the toilet, “I’m fine.” 

Chloe could practically feel the eye roll from over her shoulder. Beca put two hands on each of Chloe’s shoulders, “No you’re not. Let’s get you to bed.” It wasn’t a question, it was a command. And it wasn’t something to overthink either, it was just what was happening. Despite two years of being apart. Despite everything the two had been through apart. Despite Chloe  _ leaving. _ Neither girl would ever leave the other to suffer alone. The very thought made Chloe wonder if deep down if there was even just a chance that Beca did still love her. 

_ *** _

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago _

_ “Beca,” Chloe’s mother called and Beca looked up from the Keurig to her mother-in-law's call. She recognized them by the fact that they were almost a band of redheads. Of Chloe’s mother, father, and four brothers, the eldest two brothers were the only ones with dark hair. Beca approached them quietly, her face warning them of what was clearly ahead. Before Beca could protest, Chloe’s mom reached out her hands and pulled her Daughter-in-law into a hug that squeezed Beca like a bear. Beca wanted to protest the way she did when anyone tried to hug her, but the way she did it so simply, pushing back her barriers made Beca’s heart skip a beat. It was exactly like Chloe did. Beca had to duck under the bundle of flowers Mrs. Beale had brought with them when Mrs. Beale finally let her go. _

_ Beca pointed them in the right direction and Mr. and Mrs. Beale headed on down the way. Chloe’s brothers patted her on the back as they each passed her and in some way, it was an action that made Beca feel like part of the family, despite the lack of signature Beale spirit and optimism. The friendly, familial feeling that came with it made Beca wish she wasn’t seeing them now under such horrible circumstances. In fact, she wished it was under any other circumstance in the world. She wished they were all back in Colorado in the Beale family home during one of their big family dinners or during holidays. She wished more than anything to be back at their Ranch home during Christmas when it was full of more people Beca could hardly remember names for, all who came and went as they pleased. That was the kind of family Chloe grew up in and Beca had grown to love being apart of it all.  _

_ “Honey, have you eaten?” It was the first question Chloe’s mother asked when they walked into the room, placing the flowers on the nightstand next to Chloe. Upon scanning over the hospital room, her Mother-in-law’s eyes had landed on Beca’s cot beside Chloe’s bed - a mess of sheets under Beca’s laptop, next to a take-out bag from breakfast. The one that was still full of whatever food Beca’s pack had brought her to eat for the morning. Of course, that would be the first sentence out of Mrs. Beale’s mouth. She wasn’t going to dwell on her daughter’s state - on the fact that Chloe hadn’t woken up yet or the fact that she had lost the baby - no. Mrs. Beale would focus on what she could do.  _

_ “I...” Beca started, but she didn’t have an excuse. She hadn’t eaten since... She couldn’t eat. How could she eat when Chloe was- _

_ *** _

“Beca...” It was hard to form sentences while intense throbbing coursed through Chloe’s system. She tried to look over Beca to see if she was in the same type of pain Chloe was in, but she could hardly move her focus from walking down the hall. Besides, it was hard to think straight with Beca’s hands helping guide her down the hallway to what they once called  _ their  _ room. It was hard to think at all with the warmth of her mating mark filling her body. She hated to say it, but she knew that being physically close to Beca was helping her feel better and only further confirming Anne’s theory. 

“Sh, you need to rest.” Beca soothed in an uneven tone. Chloe couldn’t tell whether she was angry or not. 

“Beca, I-” Her voice was raspy and she tried to clear her throat. If Chloe was being honest, she didn’t even know what came at the end of the sentence. She didn’t know what to say or how to say it. There was a distance between them that Chloe didn’t know how to fill. 

“Don’t”

Chloe had imagined this scenario over and over again and not a single one of those times did she imagine her homecoming to be like  _ this.  _ Of course, she didn’t think it would be a walk in the park either. It was just… so complicated now. 

***

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago, _

_ “Boys, take my daughter-in-law out to eat. She needs food in that stomach.” Mrs. Beale didn’t miss a beat in saying it and Beca only scratched the back of her head. _

_ “Mrs. Beale-” _

_ “Beca, you know better than to call me Mrs. Beale.” _

_ “Right, uh, Rose, I appreciate your concern but-“ Beca stopped when Chloe’s mom turned and looked at her. She had cerulean eyes. The same cerulean eyes that Chloe had and it made Beca sick to her stomach. Those same cerulean eyes had been with her through everything. Begged her to go to the doctors when she was sick and brought her coffee the morning after she’d drank her weight in alcohol. Before she knew it, she was stuttering trying to get out the rest of her sentence, “I’m, uh, I’m really fine.”  _

_ The Beale family passed looks around the room and Beca all of a sudden felt left out of the conversation. The eldest brother, Eric, nodded to Rose. He and the second brother, James were the two with dark brown hair The two youngest brothers, who were each in high school, had the same red hair as Chloe and seemed to be just as clueless as Beca. Beca felt bad that she couldn’t remember which was Jake and which was Oliver. Though to be fair, they were twins. Than Mrs. Beale walked over to Beca and took up her hands. Beca was nervous about the way she looked into her eyes, “Beca, we can watch her for a while, okay? You can’t keep up your strength if you don’t eat. We will call you if anything happens at all and you’ll be right back. Go get some fresh air.” _

_ Beca swallowed and nearly burst into tears right there. How could this woman tell that she was so close to breaking down? How did she know without looking in the bags that Beca hadn’t eaten? Was it written on her face? In the cursive black bruising beneath her eyes? Was her face still red from the last time she had cried? “But Ma, I don’t want to eat. I wanna stay here with Chlo-” One of the two younger boys started his protest and Beca felt a ping of guilt from taking them away. _

_ “Oliver, you need to eat and I don’t want to hear it later when-” His mother started on him in a lecturing voice that reminded Beca of her father.  _

_ “I’ll take her, Ma.” Eric said, scratching the back of her head,  “They can stay. I’ll take her.”  _

_ Mrs. Beales lecture broke into a small, thankful smile, “Thank you, Eric.” Then she rushed them out the door. _

_ *** _

Chloe couldn’t remember the last time she slept in the master suite of their house - in  _ their  _ room. She hadn’t even stepped foot in the master suite in over two years. If Chloe was being honest, she wasn’t even sure Beca was sleeping in their room. If she had to bet, Beca had been sleeping on the couch in the master suite’s living room. That had been part of the reason Beca liked the house so much. The master suite was its own apartment separate from the rest of the house. It had a huge master bedroom, bathroom, living room, and a room that Beca renovated into a personal studio. Chloe’s assumption of where Beca was sleeping came out of the blankets that were strewn across the large cushion couch in the living room. There was no conversation about that though or eye contact that gave Chloe confirmation. Beca didn’t make any eye contact at all with her wife. Instead, she pulled Chloe forward to their old room. 

_ Their  _ room hadn’t changed even a bit. The master bed was still in the center of the room, four dark oak bedposts to make up a king bed. The tilted ceiling was covered in their night sky banner over the bed. Pictures of their relationship covered the walls in all shapes and sizes. Momentos, awards, and everything that represented their life together was in that room. And with a sharp intake of breath, Chloe realized exactly why Beca didn’t sleep in their room. Chloe could hardly bear to look at it all. Everything that made up their relationship and the family that had with their pack was there. It was everywhere she turned, memories upon memories. Tears filled the brim of Chloe’s eyes and threatened to spill over. 

***

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago,  _

_ Beca hardly remembers walking out of the hospital because it was so quiet. She tried to remember what little she knew about Eric Beale. He was one of Chloe’s two older brothers. He had graduated from some college Beca couldn’t remember, but he never left Colorado. He had a degree in business, but he didn’t look like much of a business guy. Though, to be honest everyone just looked like a wreck right now. His hair was greasy and it looked like he hadn’t gotten to shower since he found out about Chloe’s condition. He too had bags under his eyes and puffy red cheeks. He had dark green eyes that Beca could only gather matched their fathers. She tried to look when he was in her peripheral so it didn’t look like she was staring at him. They took the rental car the family had used to get to the hospital and when to a small diner around the corner from the hospital. The first thing they both ordered was coffee. _

_ “I, uh,” Eric cleared his throat when it got too silent for any lunch to be, “I’m really sorry, Beca. For..uhh… what it’s worth.” _

_ Beca opened her mouth to speak, but it came out in this raspy tone and the sounds form any real words, “Yeah.” _

_ “It’s going to be okay.”  _

_ Beca took a sharp breath in at the words being said out loud, “I-” She stuttered, “I hope so.” _

_ “I wish she could see this,” Eric told as he dug into the food placed in front of him, “I wish she could see you like this. Maybe its a little, morbid, but,” He was talking between bites, “God it’s just another reminder of how much you love her.” _

_ Again...Silence. _

_ “I… don’t know how I’m going to tell her.” _

_ When there were no words that Eric could say to make it better, to fix it, he reached out and put a hand over Becas. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her palm and his phone rang.  “Hello?” Beca looked up and watched as he made eye contact with her, “Alright, we’ll be right there.” Beca was out of the booth before he hung up. _

_ He didn’t need to say it, but he did anyway, “She’s awake.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review! Happier is coming! I promise. Be Patient!
> 
> Please review!


	7. Lost Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii I'm trying my best! Hope you all like this chapter and I hope the next chapter comes sooner! Kind of excited about where this is going.
> 
> Please Review!

_ Seven Years Ago -  _

_ “What if they don’t like me?” Beca was staring out the airplane window at a very cold, very snowy Denver, Colorado. Her eyes were transfixed on the way the light snow landed on the window and blanketed the outskirts in a beautiful white coat.  _

_ “They will.”  _

_ “But what if they don’t?” Beca hadn’t ever been so nervous to meet anyone in her entire life. She had never really been a people person. Truth be told, she didn’t care what people thought about her. While Chloe was charismatic, charming, and sweet - the kind of girl you bring home to your parents - Beca was none of those things. It took time for anyone who met Beca to get to know her and learn to love her rough exterior. Especially when they happen to be a great big happy family. Beca didn’t exactly know what a great big happy family was like. The closest she had to a real family was the pack and with them, she didn’t have to worry about mothers, fathers, or brothers. Which was what made visiting Chloe’s family not just jarring, but completely and utterly terrifying.  _

_ “Baby.” Chloe put a hand on Beca’s thigh and Beca looked over to her girlfriend for the first time since they landed. Through the look in Beca’s eye and the brand that linked them, Chloe could feel Beca’s nerves creep up under her skin. Chloe knew it was because the Beale’s had insisted on coming all the way out to Denver to pick them up. Which meant as soon as they stepped off the plane, Beca would meet the Beales for the first time and Chloe only smirked at how nervous her mate was, “You’re my soulmate,” She giggled, “What could go wrong?” _

***

Chloe woke up earlier than sunrise to weight by her side she hadn’t felt in so long that she’s forgotten how reassuring it was to her. As she looked over on it from her bed, she found Beca in wolf form laying at the bottom of the bed, leaning into Chloe's leg. Chloe scrunched her nose in curiosity as she wondered why Beca was in wolf form. She wondered if the Alpha couldn’t control it or if she was so sick it was easier to sleep that way. Chloe couldn’t say she hadn’t done it a few times herself. In her sleep, the white, brown tipped wolf looked for once in her life peaceful. Her paws outstretched to the edge of the bed and her back leaned into the back of Chloe’s legs. Chloe ran her fingertips through Beca’s fur and wondered if her wife had been able to sleep much at all being so sick. She wondered if being with Beca helped her sleep or if it was just the effect of their brands that helped. Still, Chloe wasn’t feeling much better at all and in other situations where she had been hurt, she healed much faster than this. She was beginning to wonder how long it would take for her to feel better, considering they were Well on their way to the twenty-four-hour mark. When Beca was hit by a car, she’d felt better within the hour of Chloe’s arrival. The fact that Chloe didn’t feel better was starting to worry about her. Especially considering the way she could hear her mate panting in her sleep. Beneath her fur, Beca’s skin was burning and Chloe could tell the Alpha had been in pain. And if she was being honest with herself, Chloe felt guilty. She couldn’t believe she’d done this to her best friend, wife,  _ mate.  _ How could she ever redeem herself for leaving her family in absolute shambles over something that was her fault? She could barely walk through the threshold of the house that at one point in time she believed she’d never truly leave. 

Chloe sighed at the recollection of their newest reality and removed herself from the bed, paying close enough attention not to wake her mate in the process. Afterwhich, she tip-toed her way out of the master-suite and down the hall to sneak in breakfast before the rest of the pack got up for the sunrise run that Beca made everyone go on, though the redhead wasn’t sure it was still a tradition. Regardless, she slipped down the hall without making any noise and soundlessly made it passed all of the bedrooms. To her dismay, though, she wasn’t the only one awake in the house. Just before she got to the stairs, the bathroom door opened up and Chloe crashed a brunette with cupcake pajamas and a zombie-eyed stare. 

At the realization of the crash, Emily backed up and her eyes widened with the sudden wake-up call, “C-Chloe?” Emily shook her head and rubbed her eyes as if it was a figment of her imagination - Believing it was a dream was a more likely possibility than recognizing it for its reality. Especially after Chloe could see her making the connection that Chloe had just walked out of the master suite, AKA Beca’s room. 

Chloe opened her mouth and found that it was hard to make words come out of it. What was she supposed to say? Two years ago, she’d left without a single goodbye to her pack. She ignored their letters, texts, calls, everything. She’d given up on an entire life and left it behind. What was there to say? “Emily…hey.” As the lame words came out of her mouth, Chloe looked Emily over. In her eyes, she could see the way that Chloe and Beca’s illness had affected Emily too. Her eyes had sunken into her head, her skin was paler than it usually was. Emily and the rest of the pack could feel the ailment as it worked it’s course through the Alphas - The brand made sure of that. 

“I can’t believe you’re here. I mean you're really here? This isn’t a dream?” Chloe had to admit, it was good to see Emily and hear the younger Beta’s voice again.

Chloe shook her head, eyes falling to the floor, not quite understanding how she was supposed to act. The guilt seeped further into her skin with every noticeably sick feature on Emily’s body, “No, not a dream. It’s me.” Chloe could hardly register that Emily was moving before she was wrapped in Emily’s arms, in a hug so tight that she could barely lift up her arms. Mm. It took Chloe an extra moment to accept the hug and return it, feeling absolutely baffled that Emily would want to hug her in the first place, “Emily, I-”

Emily only buried her head further into Chloe’s neck, taking in the familiar scent of her Alpha, “I missed you so much,” She muttered, “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Guilt filled Chloe’s stomach again at the word home. The way that Emily could assume and accept that Chloe was coming back to the pack, that she was coming “home.” It made Chloe’s stomach twist. Chloe cleared her throat, “I… I missed you too.” 

And without Chloe saying or asking the question at all, Emily added in the smallest whisper, “No one blames you for what happened.”

Tears dripped down Chloe’s face and onto Emily’s shoulder. Emily didn’t pull away for what felt like hours. She just held the redhead tight, absorbing all of the pain that was radiating off of Chloe’s body. When she finally did let go, Chloe found a way to stop crying and tried to look strong despite her lack thereof strength, “Thank you.” She mouthed.

“What the fuck.” Chloe turned around to a voice behind her and as soon as she turned around, an arm crossed over her neck and shoved her into the hallway wall with a loud  _ thump.  _ Chloe winced at the way her entire body filled with the pain of the blow as well as it increased the pain she was already in. When she reopened her eyes, she was met with Stacie’s yellow wolf eyes staring back with more anger than Chloe had ever seen in her life. Chloe swallowed as they stared at one another. Behind Stacie’s eyes, Chloe could feel the pain that hid behind the anger. Chloe tried to do her best to take it without letting her Alpha instincts take over, “What the fuck makes you think you can come back here after-” The sentence may not have been over but it might as well have been. Chloe could fill in the blank with a million and one options,  _ after leaving us, after leaving Beca, after all the pain you caused.  _

Chloe stilled under Stacie’s grasp, letting the beta get out whatever it was she had to, “Stacie,” She whispered, not in anger but rather to call her by her name.

“No. You don’t get to  _ Stacie  _ me. You left us. You left us and you left-“ the words caught in Stacie’s throat, “You left  _ her.  _ How could you do that?” The sentences were barely audible, “How could you leave  _ her?”  _

Chloe looked down and Emily tried to pull Stacie back. They all knew it was a useless attempt. Emily, despite her best attempts, was much weaker than Stacie. If they were all being honest, which none of them would ever, Chloe could overpower Stacie in a heartbeat. She was, after all, Stacie’s fate given Alpha. If she wanted to turn the dispute into a fight, Chloe would win. But that’s not what this was. Stacie thought Chloe deserved this and Chloe wasn’t arguing about it. She expected this. This was the reaction she wanted out of every other wolf in the house, “Stacie, stop.” Emily whispered in a harsh tone, but still respecting that the rest of the house was asleep. 

“Em, It’s okay.” Chloe waves the young Beta away and looked at Stacie, “Stacie, I’m so sorry.”

Stacie looked back and forth between the blue of Chloe’s eyes. Chloe knew Stacie could feel the Alphas guilt through the brand, but she could also feel something else. Stacie’s eyes narrowed, “You’re here because she’s sick.” Stacie mumbled, “You weren’t going to come back. You came back because she's sick. Because your mating mark is making you both sick.” Chloe could hear the growl growing in the back of Stacie’s throat, “Because you moved halfway across the world from your mate  _ and  _ your pack.” She pressed against Chloe’s throat and Chloe had to suppress a growl of her own. 

“I brought her back here.” Stacie whipped around to look at Aubrey who was standing in the doorway of her and Stacie’s room. The blonde was seemingly confident, despite the death glare that she was getting from her mate. With the way Stacie turned her neck, Chloe could see the mating mark scar from where Aubrey had laid her claim all those years ago. In the dark and from across the hall, she couldn’t see Aubrey’s mark but knew it was there. By now, almost everyone in their pack had mated. Chloe swallowed at Aubrey joining the discussion which was nearly a pack discussion at this point. She wouldn’t have told a soul that Aubrey or Anne has brought her back if she could avoid dragging their names through the mud. They didn’t deserve the wrath of the pack. To Chloe, she was the only want who they should all be mad at, “Let her go, Stacie. She’s sick enough, she doesn’t need that.” 

“We’re all sick because of her,” Regardless of the rebuttal, Stacie let off Chloe’s neck and turned the rest of her body over to her mate.

“Yesterday you were the one trying to convince me to call her.” With all the racket no one even noticed Beca standing in the corner of the hall by the master suite, watching the chaos of a scene unfold in front of her eyes. Stacie looked at her Alpha and found red eyes staring back, “Though, I’m not sure if it was anyone’s right to make that decision for either of us.” Beca mumbled, giving a side-eye to Aubrey as she spoke, “Regardless, She’s here and she’ll be here until whatever this is is over. If the two of us can be cordial, the rest of you can figure out how to get along. Now get ready to go. The suns about to rise and we have a run to go on. Short one this morning since no one is feeling so great. Afterward, we’ll have a pack meeting.” Beca eyed everyone but Chloe before adding, “Get moving.”

***

_ Three years and Six Months Ago, _

_ Beca and Chloe sat at a booth with three cake samples in front of them, on the day after their engagement party. Both were dressed in the clothes they’d woken up in, sweatpants and oversized tee shirts. Beca’s chocolate brown strands were tied in a messy bun and Chloe’s shorter hair was pulled back by her sunglasses. They had to have been at the bakery for a half hour and they’d already tried a million different cakes to find the right one. They had even considered going to a different bakery, but the manager insisted on a lower price if they found one they liked. _

_ “What about this one?” Beca fed Chloe a piece of chocolate cake with vanilla icing, who made a strange thinking face as she swallowed. _

_ “Hm, I don’t know, babe.” Chloe took the fork from Beca’s hand and picked up another piece of it. “I think I need to see what it looks like..” Before Beca could ask what Chloe meant, Chloe wiped the cake all over Beca’s nose. _

_ Beca rolled her eyes, smiled at her soon to be wife, and cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, it’s on.” Beca picked up a full piece of cake from another plate and smashed it in her fiancee’s face. Chloe smiled and pulled Beca in for a kiss. Beca tried to push her away but eventually, the two were covered in different kinds of cake, all at the same time entangled in one another.  _

_ “Did you find one you both like?” The bakery’s manager dulled their moods with his snicker, as he stood a careful distance away from the mess. _

_ Chloe looked over at her fiancee, wiped icing out off her cheek, and laughed. “I think we both liked this one.”  _

***

Beca didn’t say anything about Chloe’s decision not to go on their early morning run. Instead, Chloe went back to the master suite and slept on the couch instead of the bed. She didn’t get back up until she heard everyone shuffle into the downstairs living room, “Why aren't we getting better?” Beca’s tone was shrilled and cold as ice. She was sitting in the living room with her mother and the rest of the pack, talking mostly to her mother. She had called the pack meeting despite all of the tension that was hanging in the air between all of them. So there they all were, at the beck and call, sitting in the couches but not at all comfortable. Watching one another like hawks trying to recuperate after recognizing the shift Chloe’s return brought to the pack. Chloe stayed at the top of the stairs and watched Beca, in the same way, the rest of the pack. They all knew what she was referring to. Beca and Chloe had been together physically for hours and nothing had changed. Instead, the illnesses dug their claws deeper into them. Both Beca and Chloe spiked fevers and the sickness was beginning to affect the rest of the pack, all of whom could feel their Alphas ailments and it showed. 

“I…” Anne started, but the sentence didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. Instead, she stared at Beca and Chloe both and watched the way her daughter and daughter-in-law had become ghosts of their better selves. Their eyes had sunken into their heads. Their skin was paler than Anne had ever seen either girl, “I don’t know.” The room fell silent at the response, unsure of what they were supposed to say. When the silence went so long that it was bothersome, Anne added, “You’re gonna have to go to Irene if you want to know for sure.” 

“Irene is a witch.” Beca sneered, rolling her eyes at her mother’s request. Chloe and Aubrey both raised their eyebrows at the idea of a  _ witch.  _ Though, they shouldn’t have. If wolves exist in this world, why not witches? Neither of them had ever thought about it before, but it wasn’t illogical. 

“A witch with the best knowledge of supernatural illness in the world.” Anne countered, “She’s the only one who’s going to help and you know it. If the two of you would just go see her-”

“Mom, no. I’m not going to her stupid health spa or whatever the hell you want to call it. She’s certifiably insane.” Beca rolled her eyes at her mother's request. 

“Do you have a better idea?” Anne cocked an eyebrow, “Wolves don’t get sick. We don’t have doctors.” Anne rolled her eyes at her daughter’s stubborn nature. 

Another uncomfortable silence filled the room and Chloe let her eyes gaze over her family, or what once was. She looked at Aubrey and Stacie, how they were as close as ever and never physically apart. She looked at Emily and Benji - the couple looked better than ever and as cute as ever. Benji had let his hair grow out a little and Emily had gotten an undercut on the back of her neck. Jesse and Luke were snuggling close near each other hardly breaking apart. And Chloe’s eldest brother, Eric sat across in an extra chair by the couch. He was the last one to join the pack nearly three years ago now and Chloe hadn’t even talked to him alone in the two years since Beca and she broke up. They had seen one another at family gatherings and such when her parents would beg her to go see Beca and he would always try to talk to her to do the same. It was what made Beale family get-togethers harder. 

“We could go together,” Aubrey finally offered and everyone turned to her instead this time, “I mean, why not? It’s affecting all of us. And better than leaving you to do alone. Besides if she really is a witch, it wouldn’t be bad. Plus who knows how long you’d be gone and we all know how much you hate leaving us to our own devices.” 

“Your own devices makes trouble.” Beca countered.

“Exactly. So why don’t we all go? Where is this place anyhow?” Stacie added on, apparently now on board with the whole subject once Aubrey had agreed to it.

“Middle of nowhere, Colorado.” Beca rolled her eyes and slumped. The idea of leaving and going to a spa to fix this mess didn’t seem like a vacation she was looking forward to, “Are you sure you’d all want to go, like now? You all think you can get off and everything?” Beca waited as nods slowly filled the room. Once she got an agreement from them, she turned to Chloe and stared at her. Chloe didn’t know Beca had even noticed her, “Don’t want to make decisions for you.” The sentence sounded so defeated. Chloe Hated how hard it was for them to even talk. How did they go from telling each other everything from being able to hold a single conversation?

 “Thoughts?” Beca asked. 

Chloe swallowed hard when she realized that everyone in the room was all of a sudden staring at her. She felt a bright red blush fill her cheeks with embarrassment as they watched her with disbelief. She shook her head out of the trance, “Uh,” She coughed, “Whatever fixes this mess, I suppose.” 

***

_ Four Years Ago -  _

_ Ginger bangs fastened to Chloe’s forehead and her ponytail infused with the rainfall. Beca ran steps in front of her girlfriend, splashing the flooded water on the ends of Chloe’s jeans. The couple stumbled their way through the parking lot in sweatshirts and swept up feelings. Their smiles were crystalline festivals of bliss, yearning to be only in that moment. Dashing to the air-conditioned movie theater and shivering in dampened clothes - it was all Chloe ever wanted.  _

_ The two slowed at the entrance to the theater, feeling the frigid air seeping out the doorways. They paused to catch their breath. Beca drew her hood down, revealing her already rouge face. Chloe grinned between deep breaths and they laughed at their own antics. It was in those moments that Chloe knew she had more than a girlfriend but the best friend she could ever wish for. Someone who was everything she’d ever looked for. A soulmate. Beca eagerly smiled at Chloe, admiring how beautiful her mate was no matter what she wore. Chloe gave Beca a dorky smirk and Beca filled with butterflies. The day was perfect.  _

_ Chloe fiddled her hands in her hooded pocket, but her eyes turned from spooked to terror in a whiplash. She checked all of her pockets twice, then triple-checked them. Beca looked at her girlfriend, bewildered by Chloe’s actions. Chloe turned abruptly back toward the car and shuffled her way in the rain, staring at the concrete as she went. Beca followed her, “Babe, What’re you doing?” _

_ “I dropped something,” Chloe mumbled, staring into puddles and making her way closer to their car. _

_ Beca walked behind Chloe with her hood up, checking the spaces Chloe had just checked herself. “What is it? Did you leave it in the car?” _

_ “No.” The panic on Chloe’s face grew rapidly.  _

_ “What am I looking for?” Beca yelled over a crack of thunder. Chloe didn’t answer but continued to retrace her steps. They made it all the way back to the car before Beca lifted Chloe’s chin and repeated her question, “What am I looking for?” _

_ Chloe looked back down, against Beca’s grip and sure enough, a felt-covered ring box was between their feet and right next to the car door. Chloe's eyes glinted and she dove down, right into a puddle, to retrieve the item. Beca watched her girlfriend, soaked in a summer rain shower, her eyebrows suddenly rising to the event at hand. Chloe was barely on one knee, one leg submerged in water, holding as high as she could, a ring box dripping from its felt like a wet dog. Chloe glistened an endearing smile through thin lips once more, as water slipped down her face. She opened up the box with her top hand, revealing a beautiful engagement ring - a cushion cut diamond surrounded by sparkling blue stones. “I wanted to make it perfect, I mean - Uhm. I’ve kind of just - had it for weeks, waiting for the time to ask..” Her hands were shaking, her voice stuttered. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at Beca. “Beca Mitchell, Will you marry me?” _

_ Beca put her hands over her mouth like the cliche she always said she would never be, with tears streaming down her face that only she knew were there. At first, she stood there, frozen in time with the girl of her dreams waiting on a response. The caption was picture perfect, but Beca’s heart was standstill before finally nodding her head ‘yes.’ Chloe stood with the biggest smile in her eyes and slipped the ring on her now fiancee’s finger, then pulled her into the happiest and the biggest, sopping wet kiss of all time. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review! Let me know what you think!! See you next time ;)


	8. Grapefruit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia, finally feeling more inspired again! More to come! Get excited. 
> 
> Please Review!!

Within a week, preparations were made. Anne called Irene and made the reservations. Irene told them that they should plan for two weeks at the very least. Beca made the arrangements to have someone else take care of the studio and the rest of the pack took off work in some way or another. Chloe hardly bothered to unpack her back before they were leaving again. In the days leading up to their flight, Chloe slept on the couch in the master suite and Beca slept in their bed. During the day, Chloe hung out with Emily, Benji, or Aubrey where it was safe for her to be when Beca was at work. She took the time to get reacquainted with Emily and Aubrey’s lives and what had happened in the years she’d been gone.

 Surprisingly, it was easier for her to fall back into her old ways with the betas and soon enough they were even joking with one another. With the rest of the pack, though, it was harder. Stacie, for the most part, avoided her and when they did make eye contact, all Chloe could see was the pain in Stacie’s eyes. Aubrey told her not to worry about it, but Chloe understood why Stacie was upset. All Stacie ever asked Chloe to do was take care of Beca and the relationship had failed. Stacie was protective over Beca and Chloe respected that. Jesse and Luke seemed to stick with Stacie and Chloe did her best to avoid her brother. She wasn’t ready for that conversation. Not yet, at least. Anne left shortly after making the arrangements for the pack to go. 

Beca and Chloe’s conversations stayed at a minimum. When they were alone at night or in the morning, Chloe felt a distance that she just couldn’t close. She didn’t know how to explain it. It was like she couldn’t say anything without saying the wrong thing. She could see the way her wife put up walls against her and hid behind unimportant conversations. It was like meeting Beca all over again for the first time, back at Barden when she had pushed Their connection away every chance she got. This is what Beca did when the two Alphas had gotten into fights before. Beca pushed her away any time something went wrong. Chloe could only assume it came from Beca’s history with her parents relationship.

***

_ Four and a half years ago, _

_ “I’m sorry, what’re we doing?” Beca couldn’t remember how she started fighting with Chloe. It probably started when they got to the campsite where she was forbidden from turning wolf and Aubrey took her laptop and all of their phones. Or maybe it started in the hours they spent putting up the two tents, one of which had a branch destroy it right after.  _

_ “We’re rediscovering our sound,” Chloe sighed out in frustration, her arms folded over her tank top. Beca wondered how long she had been holding it in. Had she been so self-involved that she hardly noticed how stressed Chloe was too? How long had it been that they were on two different sides of the same coin - kissing one day but distant in the same house? Had she been pushing Chloe away for this internship? _

_ Maybe, she started fighting with Chloe the second she had to share a sleeping space with every single one of the Bellas. Yes, they were close, but that was a new level of closeness and Beca Mitchell had trouble with change. Or maybe it was when Chloe told her that this was bonding and a chance to get to know everything about each other which caused Beca to put her walls up to protect the internship secret from her girlfriend. Maybe it’s because Chloe refused to listen to her when she made it blatantly obvious that she wanted to go home. _

_ “Are we? ‘Cause it seems like we’re just singing songs that we would never out in our set.” Beca regretted the words as soon as she saw Chloe’s reaction to them. The way her jaw dropped open, her posture at odds with Beca. She never wanted to see Chloe look at her that way. She wanted to cherish Chloe in every way she knew how.  _

_ “Beca c’mon-”  _

_ “No, none of us know how to beat Das Sound Machine, but I know it’s not going to be by doing this.”  All eyes were on Beca now and she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. The sunlight beat down on her neck with the pressure of the situation. _

_ “It’s an exercise in finding harmony, Beca, Sometimes you have to break stuff down before you can build it up-” Aubrey started with her. _

_ Maybe it was because this retreat took away everything she was stressed out working on and needed to finish. Maybe because there was no time to do anything she had to do and this retreat felt like a waste of time. _

_ “I have more important things to do!” She practically screamed it and despite how upset she was, It felt good to finally just scream.  _

_ There was a pause, then… _

_ “What could be more important than this?” Chloe’s eyebrows furrowed at the brunette and Beca’s heart rate sped. She wanted to be honest.  _

_ Beca took a deep breath, “Nothing, forget it-“ She was making a scene and the last thing she needed was to explode like this. Although, she couldn’t help knowing that this had been coming for a long time. Beca had never been able to handle stress well and now, taking it out on Chloe she wondered why she ever thought she could do an internship, school, the pack and the Bellas all at once.  _

_ “You think we haven’t noticed that you’ve been a little checked out lately?” Chloe wasn’t letting this go and Beca wasn’t sure what excuse to give. Did she lie again? Here and now, In front of all of the Bellas? The lies were building up under the surface and it made Beca’s skin itch. _

_ “Come on Beca, just tell her-“ Beca couldn’t help the death stare she gave Amy. Tell her what? She scoffed at the very thought. Here and now in front of all of the Bellas. Amy didn’t know the half of it. Chloe was so focused on the Bellas and the pack and keeping her family together, she was too overwhelmed that she couldn’t possibly think about life after Barden.  _

_ “I heard that. Tell me what?” Chloe asked it and she was mad. Furious, even. Beca could see it in her eyes. The way the cerulean in them could also burn like fire reminded Beca why she even liked Chloe in the first place. This wasn’t a fight out of nowhere. Between the two of them, it was stress over what they were both passionate for.   _

_ “You misunderstood me…” Amy stumbled through an excuse with madeup words and Beca closed her eyes, “Listen, I don’t want you guys to fight. You’re Beca and Chloe, together your bloe and everyone loves a good bloe… so,” The breeze hit Beca’s face and she couldn’t help but wonder if she would have enjoyed this trip without all of the stress she had. The lake was beautiful, the camp was gorgeous, and the activities they did would’ve been fun if she wasn’t worried about everything else. She just wished she could’ve spent this weekend with Chloe the right way. She swallowed. This is the last way she wanted to tell Chloe anything. This was most definitely not the right time. _

_ “Okay.” She breathed out, “I’ve been interning at a legit music producer wants to hear my work. God forbid I have something going on outside this group.”  _

_ Chloe bit her lip and took a minute. Beca’s stomach flipped under the anticipation, “Okay, so why would you keep something like that from us?” The genuine hurt in Chloe’s voice wouldn’t register with Beca until later that night. In reality, the sentence should’ve been why would you keep something like that from me?  _

_ *** _

Beca bought the tickets to Colorado with a bit of a knot in her stomach. They would be landing in Denver, the closest airport to the retreat, but also the closest airport to Chloe’s family. She tried to pretend it didn’t matter. That she didn’t care that they were getting close to the third year of holidays without one another when they had promised to spend the rest of their lives together. Just clicking nine tickets rather than eight on the computer screen bothered her peace of mind. She didn’t know what going to Irene was going to do or how they could possibly fix this. The only way she could think to fix it at all is if they severed the bond which she’d never heard of. But if Chloe didn’t love her anymore… 

In the time they’d spent apart, Beca wasn’t sure how she felt. She couldn’t believe Chloe had left. She couldn’t believe that she’d been left alone. And maybe, somewhere deep down she thought with the mating mark, she didn’t have to give up hope. Maybe she believed that Chloe would come back to her one day. Like how they say if you love someone… let them go. 

***

_ Two Years and Three Months Ago, _

_ The clouds gathered right on time in the autumn-lit sky and lightning flashed in all windows of the house, clattering glasses together with each crack of thunder. Before, the day had been cast in a dome of plasma blue, but as it came to a close, clouds appeared. Rain poured through the August skylight, pattering on the roof so loud the creaky house shook like a tent in a hurricane. The sound bounced from wall to wall and echoed the night skies’ anger. The dining room was dimly lit by fading electricity. It was the only room in the house to flood with light. In the calm of night, the house was all but still. From all corners of the house, the pack could hear the fight. They’d been going at it for hours, nonstop, slamming doors and reopening them to keep the fight going. Neither side would let it go or swallow their pride. “Seriously, why can’t we get through one night without fighting?” Chloe threw her hands down then pulled them up to rub her eyes. It was getting late, her eyes were red, her face full of blush, and the tears wouldn’t stop. _

_ Beca sat at the dining room table, pulling her hands through her hair, feeling a migraine set in. “I don’t know, Chloe.” She rubbed her temples to settle the pain. “I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.” Beca’s voice strained and hands distanced farther from each other with every accusation. She didn’t actually mean that.  _

_ “Are you serious?” Chloe gave her the look that always meant trouble. Beca could see it from across the room and out of the corner of her eye. It was the look that Chloe had only given her a handful of times in their life together, but one she’d gotten more ever since they’d started fighting. “Just because I want to talk?” _

_ “Are you really serious right now? When do we ever talk Chloe? We fight, constantly! Don’t you ever get sick of it? You come home, we fight. I come home, we fight.” Beca’s tongue was far from saving face after months of hiding her feelings. She was tired of the fights and tired of getting nowhere. She took a deep sigh of frustration and poured herself a glass of Absolut. “You know what, maybe I should just go.” _

_ “Oh, there it is. Leave like you always do, right?” Chloe earned herself the death glare and the redhead scoffed. _

_ “What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Beca’s eyes tore a hole in Chloe’s soul. _

_ Chloe let out a breath that reminded her not to say things she didn’t mean. “It means,” Chloe’s eyes fixated on Beca’s as if she didn’t notice her girlfriend’s glare. She took a deep breath. “It means I’m tired of fighting too. Can you just - talk to me?” Chloe was practically begging the fights to stop.  _

_ Beca leaned her chair back, stared at the ceiling, and mockingly smiled. “Talk to you? About what Chloe? I thought I WAS talking to you.” _

_ “Just tell me what’s really going on, Beca.” Chloe approached her fiancee with concern written across her face. _

_ Beca took a sip of her drink and winced at the burn in her throat. Chloe shook her head and scoffed, staring at Beca. She couldn’t stand watching Beca act like she didn’t care. _

_ “Go ahead, Chloe. Tell me. Tell me what the hell the REAL problem is, Chloe.”  _

_ “Do you even really care?” Chloe bit her nails, anticipating what deep down she wasn’t ready to say.  _

_ “Of course I fucking care.” Beca scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? After everything? I’m the one who doesn’t fucking care? Go ahead, Chloe! Just fucking say it! Stop fucking around with me and just -” Beca stood up and her chair fell to the ground, putting two dents in the mahogany wood.  _

_ Chloe’s voice finally howled over Beca’s bickering, “I just don’t know where the hell you are Beca!” She screamed. Her breath staggered. Beca finally shut her trap, speechless as she saw and felt the pain wrapped up in her mates eyes, “Ever since… Ever since…” She couldn’t even bring herself to talk about losing their baby as she cried. Both girls chests were hallowed with destructive, distant pain, “You drink, you smoke, you go out to bars and come home late. I…” She stuttered at how quiet Beca was, “I don’t know where you are anymore.” _

_ *** _

Irene’s Health Spa was even more interesting than Chloe thought it would be. Their was one grand spa building disguised as a massage therapy company, though it was in the middle of absolutely nowhere - even when she grew up in Colorado. Still the main building was filled with all different rooms for therapy, massage, spas, pools, and all the sort. Behind it, they could see the acres of land with a garden, park, and cabins all in between. Upon walking in the main door, there was a shift in the air. The door was enchanted with a cloaking spell that each of them could feel by walking in. Immediately, everyone in the pack’s eyes swapped to that of their Wolf’s. Though it wasn’t too much of a surprise to them. Before they got on the premise, Beca had given them a warning. This was a supernatural retreat, which meant there would be more than just wolves would be there. They should be prepared for witches, vampires, and the sort. Beca advised them all to keep themselves as best they could and reminded them that all magic comes with a price, which was why she was against the retreat in the first place.

Beca had met Irene a few times in her life, which is why she knew she was the best person to see - and batshit crazy. Anne and Irene had been good friends since Beca’s parents divorce. She’d helped Anne cope through it and revived Anne’s pack to its former glory. She hadn’t seen Irene since she was fourteen, but she knew the woman hadn’t changed. She used magic for everything, but she was clever enough to handle the effects it had. 

“Apologies, we respect your privacy but hope you all understand that we require those who walk through our doors to come as your true selves.” A man in scrubs approached from behind the main counter to greet them, a gracious smile plastered on his face. As he approached, the pack surveyed the main entrance. From the inside, the place looked much bigger. It had a glass skylight, long white tiled floor, and smelled something like a hospital. Hallways went in all directions to other parts of the spa, all of which filled in with natural light. 

Beca, of course being in the front of the pack, nodded, “Of course, we understand.” She said as she looked over her pack and found their wolf eyes staring back. 

“I knew I felt a familiar.” Beca turned to the sound of a voice appearing from one of the hallways and of course the voice belonged the infamous witch herself, Irene. She was shorter than even Beca with long grey hair and clothes that matched a seventies hippy or your average thousand-year-old witch. Though, her eyes were what interested Chloe the most. One of her eyes was a moss green, but the other was an eye of a wolf - black around a bright yellow. Chloe had to take a second look to be sure of what she saw, “Alpha Mitchell and the newest Mitchell clan.” Irene offered a courtesy bow to the pack before making her last few steps to Beca. 

“Miss Irene, it’s a pleasure.” Beca gave the witch a hug which rattled the piles of necklaces that hung from the witch’s neck. A pentagram, a locket, some beads, the usual witch paraphernalia. 

Irena back away from Beca’s hug and looked over the rest of the group that stood around her, “Not the best of circumstances, I see.” She mumbled as she stared Beca in the eyes. The look seemed to tell her more than Beca could comprehend as she let go and turned to Chloe who was most hardly with the group at all. Irene pushed her way through until she was eye to eye with Chloe. Chloe bit her lip uncomfortably at the attention as Irene pulled Chloe’s arms apart and took her wrists in hand. Chloe looked up to meet Irene’s stare and Irene mumbled, “I am so sorry for your loss my dears.” Irene looked down at Chloe’s belly and then over to Beca who looked just as shocked as Chloe. Chloe took a sharp breath in. No one had told Irene that information, no one needed to. Tears were already brimming at Chloe’s eyes but she refused to let them fall, “A broken pack indeed.” The witch said as she gazed at each and every one of them, “We’ll just see what we can do about that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the healing begin?
> 
> Thoughts?? Please Review!!


	9. Tell Me You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, soo. Let me know how you feel about the flashbacks. I'm thinking within the next few chapters switching everything to present day and want to know your thoughts. 
> 
> Please Review!

_ Two Years and Four Months Ago, _

_ “Baby?” The room was darkened by the curtains closed on every window and blankets overtop. The bed had a lump sum of blankets covering Chloe’s body so Beca couldn’t see her wife from the doorway. Beca had just gotten back from the early morning run with the pack and Chloe still hadn’t gotten out of bed. Instead, she lay limp and shivering under the comforter and Beca could hear her sniffling. It had been a few weeks since they had lost the baby and Beca was getting terribly used to finding her wife in this state. Neither of them had been the same since they left the hospital. Chloe was sad more often than she wasn’t and Beca took it upon herself to be strong for the both of them. She took over all of the responsibilities for the pack and took care of Chloe day and night. _

_  Beca pushed the master bedroom door open the rest of the way and brought in toast and coffee on a tray. The brunette made small strides over the bed where her wife lay, limp and struggling to keep herself together. As Beca rounded the lower corner of Chloe’s side of the bed, she caught a glimpse of her wife. Chloe was curled into a ball on her side, hands gripping the blanket like she was going to lose it, and eyes full of tears that had most obviously been coming for hours. Beca felt the pit in her stomach drop and hollow out at the sight of wife in the sorry state she’d been in for weeks now. Beca shuttered as she rounded the bottom bedpost and approached Chloe, who’s eyes were lifeless - not even bothering to look up at Beca, “Baby.” Beca said again, breathless, “How about we get you up and eat breakfast, hm? Maybe get a shower today?”  _

_ Chloe fluttered eyelids up - a small effort that seemed to take all of the Ginger’s energy. The blue of her eyes was surrounded by red veins and dark circles. Her skin was as pale as snow and she was still dressed in clothes from the day before last. Chloe’s response was only a groan from her throat as she looked over the tray Beca was holding with hardly much of an interest. For a split second, as she scanned, their eyes met and Beca thought she saw a glimmer of light. Still, it was only a split second and just after Chloe was curling back into herself and slipping back under the blanket, just barely leaving her eyes open. Beca gulped. She didn’t know what to do. Chloe was depressed and her doctors said it would take time, but Beca didn’t know how to help. She felt useless. Like Chloe was shutting her out. She couldn’t remember the last time Chloe told her how she felt - even if she just said she was sad. Beca hated the idea that Chloe bottling up all of her emotions, but she knew Chloe wasn’t talking to anyone about them. She used to after it first happened, but as time went on Chloe went all but mute and closed off from anyone. She was depressed. Chloe hadn’t even talked to Aubrey in a week. It was like she was a hollow body of who she once was. Beca felt like she wasn’t allowed to feel as sad as Chloe was in some way or another, having not physically lost the child herself. She sighed and sat down next to the bed, placing the tray on the nightstand. She rubbed Chloe’s back and listened for her wife’s sobs. She felt tears rise with the heat of her cheeks until she too was crying.  _

_ *** _

If there was anything Beca missed about being in Los Angeles for years at a time it was the change of season that affected the rest of the world around them. It was the autumn leaves on a brick path similar to the paths that connected the guest quarters at Irene’s health spa. It was the weather that gave her the freedom to wear hoodies and black jeans to protect her human skin from the breeze. It was the sound of crunching leaves beneath everyone’s feet as they walked on in the early sunset that came with fall. The pumpkin decorations that felt cold to the touch of the rush of the new season. It was the scrapping of leaves on that same brick as the wind rushed them passed. 

“This will be your cabin, pack Mitchell.” The man in scrubs unlocked the door and let them in, handing key cards to each member of the pack as they passed him by. Inside the cabin once again looked much bigger than the simplistic look on the outside and Beca was starting to guess everything was enchanted to pay for less land and have more space. Just past the door was a common room with couches, incense, and sage burning on one of the shelves. Beca could smell the mixture of oils and sage that she could only assume was some concoction Irene had come up with to help them cleanse. Once again, she rolled her eyes at the whole thing, “There is a kitchen and stocked fridge for meals you’d like to make together. The cabin itself and the backyard are both cloaked so no one will see your transformations if you’d like to hunt or run, morning or night. Bedrooms are just down that hall and there’s a pack den that way. The master bedroom is at the end of the hallway.” At this direction, he turned to Beca and glanced between Beca and Chloe, “Not to disrespect common knowledge of wolves, but Irene asked me to ensure that the Alpha’s sleep in the same room being as the physical closeness of mates can help-”

“Got it.” Beca cut him off rather quickly and her eyes dropped to the floor before she got stares from the rest of the pack. Chloe looked around and winced at the words as well as Beca’s response, “When can we get this started?” 

“Irene wants to make sure you’re all rested, must be tired after the flight.” He explained, “She wants to start bright and early tomorrow morning. She assumed you all would be up to run with the moon before sunrise?” The man asked, “She also made a note to say that pack runs are team building and daily wolf activity may help with your… the situation, ma’am. If the root cause is the mating mark.” 

As he spoke, Beca reached up and touched her mating mark. If she paid close attention to the tips of her fingers, she could feel the slight indentation of Chloe’s canines. The scar was nothing in comparison to when they first did it. Now it was just the smallest mark and it had been so long that Beca could go back to wearing clothes to work that showed off her neck. Though, in that way it made her miss the days she’d have to come into work in a turtleneck after her and Chloe spent the night together. If she was being honest with herself, she’d missed doing anything and everything with Chloe. Family gatherings even if Beca was once too antisocial for them, embarrassing dates like going to aquariums or out for picnics, and everything else in between. Thinking about it, Beca probably took too long before answering, “Yeah. We’ll keep it in mind.” 

***

_ Three and a half years ago, _

_ Chloe and Beca stumbled into the room, lips pressed against one another, losing articles of clothing along the way. At first, it had only a soft brush against Beca’s lips on their way inside - just coming back from a Christmas Eve Party with Chloe’s family. The night couldn’t have gone a more perfect way. They had spent every second together and even though the press had gotten them on their way home to talk to DJ Titanium, they made it through. They ate dinner, they talked, they danced. It was everything Beca had always wanted to give Chloe and all Chloe had ever hoped they would obtain by being together. And it wasn’t such a bad thing that the public got a view of them being their true, authentic selves. Chloe loved the attention of being engaged to DJ Titanium. And the press loved it, her, them. They couldn’t get enough of the girls kissing, holding hands, smiling. Something strong, stable, but still independent and confident. Chloe gave a speech and Beca led them through the first dance of the night. Everything was absolutely perfect, including the end of the night.  _

_ It sent shivers down her spine at the way Chloe’s lips were the only warmth in the cold of the winter storm. Then it was an all of a sudden more intense - swift with gradation and absolutely need. Beca felt dizzy and at the moment, nearly falling over when she forgot that standing was something she had to do. Chloe was insistent and every time their lips touched it was harder and with even more devotion. Even the sound of the ice against the window was lost to Beca’s ears as Chloe swept her tongue against her bottom lip. Beca almost immediately gave her entry and from that moment on Chloe gave her an onslaught of kisses, parting her lips wider each time. Beca had never felt more electricity from a kiss in her life. The world and Beca’s mind - everything she had been thinking about before - was all but silenced. Beca was vulnerable and unimaginably shocked, so much so that she couldn’t stop it even if she wanted to and she couldn’t ever imagine wanting to. The mere action of Chloe Upland kissing her made her heartbeat out of her ears.  _

_ Their kisses were sloppier than usual and more frantic and in more need. In the heat of the moment, Beca pushed Chloe on the bed and found herself straddling her Fiancee, their lips hardly breaking apart. “You make, me, so happy” Beca mumbled, out of breath, against Chloe’s lips as they continued.  _

_ “I’ve never been so happy.” Chloe huffed as Beca kissed her cheek, her neck, her collarbone. _

_ Chloe hummed when Beca reached her collarbone. Beca listened to her girlfriend’s amusement and suddenly the moment was more sobering just to hear Chloe’s moan. She tried her best to pay it close attention to how her movements made Chloe elicit such beautiful sounds. She never wanted to forget how to give Chloe such a pleasure,  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She said, stopping for a brief moment and looking into Chloe’s eyes. Then, opening her eyes, Chloe joined her in the sobering moment, and she smiled impossibly wider than she ever had when Beca paid her a compliment.  _

_ Almost immediately though, her smile turned into a wide grin as Chloe used the moment to her advantage. With rapid action, Chloe kicked Beca off balance and spun them around to switch positions. Beca bit her lip as Chloe pinned her to the bed. Beca tried to get free, but Chloe had the leverage above her, “Me either.” Chloe giggled and leaned in again, “Do you wanna go for a run?” _

_ “Are you serious? That’s what you want to do right now?” Beca laughed, her eyes looking over her fiancee, “I thought we said we wouldn’t at your parents?” Though Chloe’s eyes weren’t letting up as they swapped from blue to red, “Fine, your choice, let’s go.”  _

_ With a devious smirk and red eyes, Chloe dragged her to the back porch in sweatshirts and shorts they didn’t care about and out into the winter storm outside. As soon as they made it out, Chloe bit her lip and they looked around. Once they realized the coast was clear - Beca went first. She started the switch from human to wolf form. Her bones broke, her skin stretched and morphed. But just as she did, just as Chloe watched the change before her eyes - the back door opened. Chloe’s eyes grew wider than Beca had ever seen them in her life. Beca, now on all fours, followed her mates eye contact over to the door where she landed a stare on Eric Beale himself. Hugging herself in the snow, Chloe swallowed as the wolf looked back and forth at Chloe and Eric. Eric’s eyes were huge, his jaw dropped, his hands were palms up in absolute shock. _

_ “Eric… I…” Chloe stuttered, “It’s not what you think, just let me explain…” As Chloe spoke, Eric turned around and made a run for it. After a small look at Beca, Chloe stormed off after her older brother.  _

_ *** _

Chloe only slept a few hours that night, maybe three but not consecutively. It was hard to sleep next to Beca in human form - it _ hurt _ . And unfortunately for them, the pack was tired after the flights and no one was looking forward to an awkward social hour when they could be in bed instead. So, they all adjourned to their rooms, all aware that they would be up before dawn for a run beneath the moon and stars, while Chloe and Beca went to the master bedroom to sleep. Chloe had to avert her eyes while Beca changed and vise versa. Chloe opened her mouth to say something, almost made an actual attempt to talk to Beca, but the words just didn’t come out. So they sat in tense silence facing away from one another when they had once snuggled one another into a deep sleep. 

“Come on if you’re coming.” Jesse told her when he woke her up, “Team building, right?” 

Chloe felt the way her muscles pulsed with soreness as she sat up in addition to the other aches and pains of her fever. Still, she sat up on the bed and looked around. Beca had already left the room of course and Jesse was the only one there to wake her up. Chloe swallowed, “Thank you, for waking me up Jesse,” She mumbled, “Though, I’m not sure if I should go.” She whispered.

Jesse scratched the back of his head, “I’m not on anybody’s side here, between you and Beca well… that was your relationship and it’s not any of my business,” Chloe appreciated the gesture, but she considered it his business because he was sick, “All I know is that the two of you together, you’re unstoppable and if this is fate telling you to do something,  _ anything  _ about it - I think it’s worth a shot.

“Thanks, Jesse.” Chloe tried to keep his words in mind as they went out to the back of the cabin where the ban of wolves waited for them to join. Beca didn’t even bother to look back at the door when she heard it close. She just waited at the tree line until everyone was ready to go. For the first run as a pack in two years, it was a rather silent one that ended with the sunrise after only five miles. Still, even with all the tension, Chloe couldn’t help but enjoy it a little. It was one of the many things she missed when she lived alone in New York. The forests, the group run before sunrise, howling at the moon. 

After the run, the pack got ready individually, showered and got dressed, than headed into the main building to meet with Irene for the first day. Irene met them outside of what appeared to be one of the therapy rooms with a bright morning smile on your faces, “Good Morning, how is everyone feeling?” 

“Not much better than before, unfortunately,” Benji told her, being the most truthful of the group. Though, it wasn’t like the witch Irene couldn’t tell by the dreary sick looks on all of their faces.

“Well, I guess it’s time to get started than. If I can have the pack in first and I’ll speak with the Alphas after.” Irene smiled with only her lips as she stepped aside to the doorway.

“You want everyone but us?” Beca asked, an eyebrow cocked at the old witch and she pointed between her and Chloe. 

Irene nodded, “That’s how I’d like to start, yes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I saw a few of you were kind of in-between on 'who's fault' the break up is. I hope the writing has cleared this, but hopefully, it's clear that both sides of every relationship are semi at fault for a break-up. Never just one person's fault!
> 
> Please Review!


	10. You're gonna miss it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward, no flashbacks. Next chapter Beca and Chloe finally get somewhere I promise lol. 
> 
> Please Review

Beca and Chloe sat outside of the Therapy room, both clicking their teeth and bouncing their legs in the silence of a rather busy hallway. The rest of the pack had been inside for a few minutes and already the silence was killing both Alphas. Beca hadn’t looked up from the floor in fear of possibly meeting Chloe’s stare. Instead, she wondered how she even got to standing there in the first place. How she ended up standing in a Health Spa miles from Eventually, Beca stood up and said, “I’m gonna go find some coffee. Do you, Uh, want any?” 

Chloe swallowed and looked up and Beca - making eye contact with her was hard to handle. Regardless, Chloe’s ceruleans met Beca’s lakes and Chloe almost forgot how to speak at all, “I… uh, you don’t have to.” 

“Caramel Iced Latte it is,”  Beca didn’t seem to notice remembering Chloe’s order, as if she could ever forget, but as Beca walked away with her hands in her pockets - Chloe beamed. Maybe Jesse was right, if there was anything to salvage here, maybe it was worth trying… right? Not that Beca showed much interest in something like that… in  _ trying _ . Chloe would just have to wait and see what the witch Irene suggested they do to fix this. 

In the meantime, the therapy room filled with a rather silent group of Betas and one witch Irene in a circle. The betas were all looking at one another and waiting for Irene to speak, some obviously more nervous than others, “Alright, my dears. How’re you doing?” 

Aubrey couldn’t help herself but laugh a little. Being here, traveling hours on a plane ride and leaving work for two weeks... this was a huge priority. Most obviously, they weren’t so amazing. But Aubrey wasn’t the one to answer, Emily was, “Hopefully getting better soon. And you?” 

Irene smiled with her lips until her dimples were showing, “Good. I just wanted to ask you all first. What do you think of your Alphas?” Looks passed between them as if she was asking for all of their pack secrets to come out here and now, “Maybe an easier question. Do you think their good leaders? How long have you known either of them? Beca or Chloe.” 

After a bit of awkward silence, Stacie, who had folded her arms and slouched in her chair, finally spoke, “I’ve known Beca since we were cubs.” She offered and everyone seemed to look at her. Stacie was never one to believe in therapy, same as Beca, but if they were going to fix it, they had to talk, “She’s a good leader. She’s stubborn and independent, but compromisable when it’s necessary. Chloe… we haven’t seen in a few years.” 

“Before she left, she was everything Beca wasn’t though,” Aubrey defended, “She’s empathetic, caring, thoughtful.”

“She hasn’t changed either,” The attention shifted to Eric as he pushed a hand through his dark long hair, “She’s still the same Alpha you all know, she’s just… broken. I mean, the sister I knew a few years back when I found out about all this, she was.. different. They were a team and they’ve always stood up for the pack. Without both of them, I wouldn’t even be here.” Eric went into a description of the day he found out about wolves, the pack, Chloe’s secret life… 

***

_ Three Years Ago,  _

_ “Eric, wait!” Chloe rushed up the creaky stairs of her parent's little house in Colorado, chasing her brother into one of the spare bedrooms which used to be his growing up, “Eric, please! Just, let me explain!” Eric tried to slam the door in her face, but Chloe blocked it and pushed it right back open.  _

_ Eric looked like he could pull his hair out by the grip he had on his dark locks, “Explain what Chloe? What the hell was that- that- th” The eldest boy struggled for the words to describe what he’d seen as he motioned in wide strides towards the snow storm in the backyard, “What the fuck is she Chloe, a - werewolf?”  _

_ Chloe stuttered to answer her fumbling brother for a split second as she winced at the name, “First of all, that’s offensive. Second, I’m sorry, we didn’t know you’d be home so early.”  _

_ “Offensive? Seriously? What the fuck, Chloe.” Eric was already laughing hysterically at the whole thing. When Chloe couldn’t offer up another response to him, he whispered, “What’s going on, Chloe?”  _

_ Chloe swallowed, her eyes drifting to the floor. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could, footsteps barreled up the stairs and Beca was in the room behind them - now dressed Chloe’s black silk robe, “Hey, hey, is everything alright?” she breathed.  _

_ “No everything is not alright, you’re a- you’re… whatever the fuck else you call a werewolf.” Eric spat, throwing a hand at her, “Is this a nightmare? A fever dream?”  _

_ “We’re wolves, Eric,” Beca stated, more simply than Chloe can seem to handle at the moment her brother just found out their biggest secret. _

_ Eric furrowed an eyebrow at Beca and dropped his jaw when he turned back to his little sister. His eyes were dilated with both confusion and surprise, his voice sounded hoarse and breathless, “You’re… you’re one too?”  _

_ Chloe took a sharp breath in, having never been prepared to have this conversation with him or anyone in her family. In fact, she’s spent the last four years avoiding this exact scenario with the family she kept practically no secrets from and the sudden change of pace was a lot for her to take in. It wouldn’t be another few days before she was able to take in the relief that Eric knowing gave her, “I am.” Chloe confirmed, “I’m a wolf, Eric.”  _

_ Eric shook his head, having a hard time wrapping his head around the whole thing. He was a businessman, not a fantasy believer. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been, “Deep breath.” Beca told him and surprisingly, he did take a second to breathe and relax his shoulders, “It’s a long story and we’ll tell you everything,” Chloe looked at Beca with a furrow of her brow over the word everything, but Beca continued, “I’m sorry we kept this from you, but I hope you can understand why. Can we just sit and talk about this first?”  _

_ Eric looked between the two, as if finally realizing that it wasn’t just finding out werewolves were real - it was about a secret his sister had to tell him, “Fine. If you’ve got an explanation, I’d love to hear it.”  _

_ *** _

“Eric’s right, we all have stories like that. Beca and Chloe handle every situation we find ourselves in,” Benji added when Eric was finished telling the story, though the whole group didn’t look so convinced.

“Okay, but Beca never left.” Stacie but in, “She’s never and would never.” There was a sense of pain behind her voice that many of the other Betas felt. There was a bond between Alpha and Beta. When a beta took an Alpha’s mark, the brand, it meant that the Alpha would also protect the Beta and in the old days it was an ownership mark. Either way, the pack looked at it, it was painful to know that their Alpha had the ability to leave them behind and start an entirely new life without them. 

“Yeah, but can you really blame her?” Jesse asked, though it was surprising to everyone that he had been one to stand up for Chloe. In all of their years together, Jesse had more often been Beca’s lapdog, “They lost a baby, Conrad. Do you remember what they were like after? Beca was just… gone and Chloe was depressed. Neither of them could function. I mean, maybe space was good for them.”

***

Two Years Ago -

_ Chloe disappeared into the shadows of the staircase, which in the night looked like the darkness engulfed her. She went up, but not to anywhere exact - just up. Beca watched her go until she couldn’t see her wife anymore and then she watched some more, leaning on the living room wall with tears in her eyes. She tried to think about how much of a fuss they used to make if the other tried to go to bed alone. Then she realized she couldn’t remember the last time they slept in the same bed. She stared at the ring on her finger for hours now, remembering how happy they made each other once.  _

_ She wondered how she could mess up the best thing that ever happened to her and rubbed her puffy eyes once more to remove the tears. Around the room, picture frames surrounded her with happy memories and she gripped the ends of her tee shirt as claustrophobia washed over. No matter where she looked she found reminders of what once was and the most joyful moments made her choke up. She covered her mouth and her body convulsed as she burst into tears again, slipping down the wall and hiding in her own shell. She hated crying. But even more, she hated seeing Chloe’s eyes break under the surface. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. _

_ Chloe got to the top of the steps and took a deep breath of fear, which settled her huffing lungs. She turned to the master suite couch and gently rested her hand on the knob of the door, but stared into the room behind her back - the room they used to call theirs. The one Beca now slept in alone. She couldn’t remember the last time she got to hold her wife. Feeling the tears boil to the surface, Chloe sank to the floor against it. Tears streamed down her face and she buried her head into her sleeve. She hated feeling so broken. It was the worst emotion she had ever experienced. She was losing her best friend and the love of her life all in one go. How could everything change like this? _

_ Later, Beca would toss and turn in the master bedroom, watching Chloe’s shadow pass back and forth over the flooding light under the door. She wondered what Chloe was up to on the other side, but ultimately rathered not find out. If it meant starting another fight, Beca would avoid it. Instead, she watched the door with haunted eyes bruised by sleeplessness and wonder.  _

_ Meanwhile, Chloe crumbled another piece of paper on the coffee table and threw it into a small pile in the trash can. She shook her head and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. It was passed three o’clock in the morning and she was still dressed for the previous day’s work. Her eyes were full of tears. Her hair was tied into a messy bun that had practically come out. She was a disaster. _

_ Without another word she grabbed the suitcase she packed an hour prior and crept through the door, careful not to make a sound. She took one last look at the darkness in the window of the spare bedroom. Somewhere deep inside she wanted Beca to hear her leaving and try to chase after, but even deeper she knew that life wasn’t a movie. She sighed and pushed the suitcase into the back seat. She sat down and started the car, driving off to a destination she didn’t even know.   _

_ Beca, I’m so sorry. _

_ *** _

“Okay, but she didn’t leave just Beca, did she, Jesse?” Stacie shot back, her eyes angry. She stood up in revolt and Emily tried to pull her back into her seat. It was amazing how little Irene had to say to get the group going on the subject, “Do you think she thought about the rest of her pack? If she gave a shit about us, why didn’t she even talk to us after? She just disappeared, without a single word? Aubrey couldn’t even get in contact with her. God if it weren’t for Eric, we wouldn’t know if she was safe or what,”

“Stacie, come on,” Aubrey tried with a hand on Stacie’s shoulders.

Stacie ripped her arm away though, “No, it’s not fucking fair. She doesn’t just get to come back, If I were Beca, I wouldn’t forgive her either.”

“Okay, lets try this,” Irene cut in finally after listening so intently to their transgressions, “Stacie, how would you feel if Aubrey lost the baby?” 

Aubrey covered her mouth as soon as the words came out of Irene’s mouth and Stacie immediately sat down - her eyes wide with the mistake. Irene watched as the room lit up with similarly wide and surprised looks, then realized that it was not common knowledge of the group. She bit her lip as the information sunk in and gave an apologetic look towards Aubrey and Stacie both. 

Everyone’s eyes were on Aubrey now as Emily worked up the courage to be the first one to say it, “You’re pregnant?” The youngest Betas voice was hardly above a whisper.

Aubrey and Stacie exchanged a nervous, but kind of excited look, “I am.” She confirmed, biting her lip. She reached out and grabbed Stacie’s hand, a glimmer in her eyes as she said, “We’re pregnant.” 

“Oh, my Aca-God, congratulations!” Emily speered the room with the high pitch squeal. Her congratulations were followed by more throughout the crowd of Betas - a few hugs and high fives for Stacie and Aubrey both. 

“But you didn’t tell them, because you can’t tell your Alphas.” The group settled when Irene spoke up again. A silence filled in when Aubrey nodded to confirm Irene’s suspicions, “I see.” The old witch leaned back in her chair, fumbling with her necklaces, “I’m sorry to ruin the moment, but I have to ask. What do you all think of Beca and Chloe’s relationship, hm? You all would know better than anyone else, so tell me. Do you think it’s salvageable? Do you think, at the end of the day, they would be better together… or apart?” 

This seemed to be a sentence one that tore a rift in the Betas, all unsure of how or who should speak for their Alphas relationship. Was it their right? A brief silence blew through the stale air of the therapy room, before a unanimous answer arose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think 
> 
> Please Review


	11. Light On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there friends, sorry it's been so long! I am trying! But I've also been trying to write some original work. Speaking of, just curious? Would any of you read original work based on my writing? Let me know in the comments. 
> 
> Things are definitely changing here ;) Thanks for waiting out for it! 
> 
> Please Review!

“So,” Irene stayed her words clearly while clasping her hands together, “What are the two of you hoping for out of this?” She let her hands fall onto her lap and looked between Beca and Chloe, who sat across from her in the therapy room. Both girls seemed rather uncomfortable talking to a relative stranger to their family about such intimate subjects. In the wolf community, brands, bonds, and all pack related topics were intimate. It was something special and unique for each individual relationship and even therapy didn’t make it a comfortable conversational topic. Regardless of their “little” problem. 

While Beca didn’t bother to look around all that much, Chloe found herself drawn to the twinkling lights in the dimly lit room and the smell of incense burning on the window sill. Blankets and banners covered the walls and windows, giving the room a dark purple hue and a hippie chic vibe if Chloe used her words to describe it. It was a different room than the one Irene had brought the rest of the pack to and Chloe’s only hint as to why was the sign on the door when they walked in that read “Meditation room.” She wondered why Irene thought meditation might help anything, but if Chloe was being honest with herself, she had a lot of curiosities about Irene. For instance - where did she get the wolf eye? Chloe could only imagine one scenario, but if Irene had taken it from a wolf than there was no way the wolf community would associate with her. Which brought Chloe back to Beca’s forewarning about magic. It always comes with a price. Chloe wondered if Beca had dabbled in it herself, being as she had such reservations. In the corner of the room behind Irene were shelves filled with different bottles that Chloe could only assume were potions used for magic. She speculated that Irene might’ve brought them in there to try some magic to fix the problem. 

“What do you mean?” Beca cuts Chloe’s thoughts off with a deadpan question, her eyes furrowed at the old witch in front of them. Beca had assumed it was obvious. The group of them were all sick, covered in dark circles under their eyes and low fevers. Being close to Chloe didn't fix it and they needed it fixed. Plain and simple. Her eyes twisted with the inquiry of words at the old woman, who didn’t seem to take notice of Beca’s discontentment.

“Well,” Irene clicked her tongue, trying to think about a way to phrase the sentence, “The two of you are bonded. You’ve imprinted on one another.” Beca and Chloe looked at each other uncomfortably at her words - at the way they implied animal instinct and intimacy, “Imprinting is a complicated connection. Imprinting on one another mixes your scents, ties your ribbons, connects your minds, emotions. It’s a deep-rooted spiritual connection. A very unique supernatural experience that wolves have. A blessing... Mates are fated if you would. And on top of that, it’s a once in a lifetime connection - different from even the Alpha-Beta connection.” Neither Beca or Chloe could deny what Irene said. The magnetic pull the bond made towards each other was undeniable, “The more you push against fate, the worse you’ll get from what we know.” Beca thought back to the last few hours. Irene didn’t even want to talk with the Alphas after she spoke with the pack. Instead, she sent them all down to a doctor, who seemed knowledgeable on wolf-related sickness. The doctor checked them all out and Chloe and Aubrey laughed softly about not remembering their last doctor’s appointment. Beca assumed that Irene was referring to what the doctor theorized as well as her own studies in the supernatural, “That being said, I have.. successfully… severed one similar bond and if that’s what you want...” Irene’s face pained at the memory. Chloe, at first, didn’t think about what Irene was implying more than she thought about if that was how Irene got the eye and how that was considered a success. 

After a long pause of silence, “I mean, I guess if you could successfully, then…” Beca mumbled it like it was a choice of food rather than their mating marks. 

“What?” Beca looked over at Chloe as the redhead came out of her uninterested trance of looking at the decor. Chloe took her two fingertips from her lips and dented her eyebrows, “Severing  _ our  _ bond?” It came out angrier than she had intended it, “Is that what we’re seriously talking about here?” Her eyes had started at Irene but slowly turned to Beca.

Red eyes met red eyes and there was a pain that neither of them could see behind the anger. Beca shrugged at a loss for a response and Irene continued, “It would come with consequences, of course. I mean…the supernatural doesn’t like to be messed with,” Irene implied, touching the scar tissue around her wolf eye, “Other than this…” She motioned toward her eye, “There are the side effects of pain. Of course, it would cause the two of you pain, possibly in a physical form after the initial break and I’m not really sure of the side effects on the rest of the pack considering last time we performed this there was no pack to consider,” Irene seemed to go say it really fast almost as if she was going over a legal disclaimer, rather than life or death scenarios. 

“Are you kidding?” Chloe’s jaw dropped as she looked between Beca and Irene, “No. No, absolutely not.” 

Beca rolled her eyes at her wife, as she turned towards the redhead on her uncomfortable cushion, “I’m sorry, do you have any better ideas? This…” She motioned between the two of them, “Obviously isn’t fixing anything. And you’re the one who wanted to live across the continent in the first place.” The alpha folded her arms and turned back toward Irene, nearly falling off of the meditation cushion in the process. 

Chloe flinched at the way Beca raised her voice and took a deep breath, “There it is, huh? Live across the continent? That’s what this is coming back to, really?” She shook her head and scoffed. Irene only sat back in her chair and watched the two of them get into it with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. If they were fighting, maybe it was worth fighting for. 

“I don’t know what else it would come back to, Chloe.” Beca’s voice was rigid, “You left, remember? You made that decision for yourself. And now we all have to live with it.” 

Chloe, in an attempt to ignore Beca’s knocks at her, looked peacefully at Irene, “I’m sorry, can we just have a minute to think this through?” She asked, with a slightly more polite tone to her voice than the one she chose to use with Beca. 

Beca shrugged, finally giving up on sitting on the uncomfortable cushions and choosing to stand, “Think about what, Chloe?” Chloe watched as Beca’s eyebrows furrowed with the stir of emotions, “What’s so different now than it was two years ago, Chloe? Leaving didn’t get a second thought, did it?” The Alpha began to pace and Chloe stood to follow her. 

“Didn’t get a second thought? Are you serious?” Tears formed at the edges of Chloe’s eyes.

Beca scoffed and rolled her eyes, while only Irene seemed to notice that the brunette was working hard not to cry, “I don’t know, Chloe. What did you think we were going to do here?” 

Chloe’s nostrils flared with her bruised, narrowed eyes, “Maybe I just want a second to think about the possibility of not only severing our bond but destroying our entire pack?” 

“Did you ever think about that before?” Beca almost screamed it, “When you left all of that behind?” 

“When I left, when I left, Jesus Beca, have you ever considered that you might be part of the reason?” Chloe’s jaw dropped, unhinged from the top of her mouth - bruised eyes, twisted and narrow, “Did you ever for once in your life think that this..” Chloe motioned rapidly between the two of them, now yelling at the top of her lungs, “Takes two?”

 Beca just sat there this time, mouth agape, eyes confused. 

Chloe, who’s hands had been outstretched like she was pleading to the Gods, let her arms drop down onto her jeans, “Jesus, Bec, did you chase after me? Did you care to make an effort? Did you ever once think that I’m not as heartless as you make me out to be? No, I’m done with taking all of the blame. YOU pushed ME away. I left because YOU shut me out, Beca.” 

“Oh yeah? So this is on me, then?” Beca growled back, her nostrils flared. The words were snips at Chloe, who was starting to lose the momentum of the fight. Both girls seemed to forget that Irene was there at all.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying-”

Beca didn’t let her speak though, “That’s exactly what you’re saying. You’re saying I ended our marriage, that this..” Beca motioned between them, mocking the way Chloe had before, “Is my fault?” 

_ We never ended our marriage. _

Beca had to do a double look at Chloe before she could confirm that she did indeed hear Chloe’s voice in her head and not in the room. Because the redhead's lips didn’t move, Beca gathered that this was the first time she had heard Chloe’s thoughts since she went to rushed to the hospital to be by her wife’s side so many years ago. It caught her so off guard in fact that she let a tear slip down her pale, sick face. When the silence lasted too long, Beca blinked down to Chloe’s hand and just as she had hoped, Chloe was indeed wearing both her engagement and wedding ring. She swallowed loud enough for the entire room to hear it as she looked down at her own left hand, to the diamond and wedding band that Chloe gave to her all those years ago. That was right. They  _ never _ ended their marriage. Beca never even thought about getting divorce papers. She didn’t  _ want  _ to get divorced. Regardless of the length of time, they had been a part, Beca would never deny the magnetic pull she felt towards Chloe, since the day they met in the Barden Quad. She’d never forget the way her wolf yearned to be close to her, to protect her, the way her body burned from her brand out. Those feelings never went away. Chloe would never be anything less than Beca’s  _ soulmate _ . 

“What…  _ are _ you saying?” Beca had to clear her throat when she spoke and her voice still sounded hoarse and weak. 

“I…” Now Chloe seemed to realize that the two Alphas weren’t alone in the room and never really were. She looked back and forth between her mate and Irene. Finally, she let the tears drip down her rosy red cheeks and off onto the carpet floor, “I don’t want to sever our bond.” She stated clearly, wiping her tears away, “I don’t- I’m not… I don’t want that.” 

“Chloe…” Irene cleared her throat and both girls looked at the smiling witch, “What do you want? Be clear now.” 

Chloe sniffled from a mixture of sick and tears. Her voice came off soft, low, with nerves clear in the way the words shook. She swallowed, “I want my family back. I want.. you, Beca.” Maybe it was the anguish or the sickness, or finally breaking down all of her walls, but Chloe’s eyes turned back to their natural cerulean color when she looked Beca in the eye this time, “I’ve never stopped,” Chloe took a step forward to her wife, but stopped when Beca took a hesitant step back. Chloe squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, “But.. tell me that this is what you want. That you don’t miss me. That the pack is better off without me. That you want to sever our bond…” Chloe swallowed, “Then we’ll do it. But only if you can look at me and tell me it’s what you want.” 

_ Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll give up.  _

When Beca was quiet, Irene gave a gentle push by speaking up, “Beca…” and motioned for the brunette to answer. Chloe could see the gears turning in Beca’s head, but she could also see the way the brunette's hands shook. She wasn’t good at expressing feelings beyond anger. She was guarded and Chloe knew she’d have to earn that trust, for Beca to break down her walls, back.

Beca let out a deep breath through her nose, the way she did when she hunted out in the forest, and she shook her head, “I… I won’t give up without trying.” She finally said.

Silence loomed back into the room as Beca and Chloe looked at each other and for the first time since being reunited, really saw one another. It wasn’t just the pain or self-pity of seeing an ex, but it was true emotion. It was looking at the other and being able to understand that they were  _ both  _ hurting. It was not one-sided, it was not just pain. There was love. When the silence went on too long, Irene clapped her hands together, “Well. If that’s the case, I’d like to do a few different kinds of sessions with meditation and team building. Some I’d like to do with the pack, some without.” The two Alphas snapped back to Irene as the witch switched rather quickly back to business, “I think that was enough for today. Now that we have a way to move forward, I want the two of you and your pack to return to your cabin, rest and spend time together. Keep up with the routines we talked about, try to make food together, the two do you sleep in the same room, hunt in the morning, go for a morning run together. That’ll help strengthen these bonds as we get into a healing process. It will take time and a lot more effort to get your bones back where they need to be so to speak. I’ll need you all well rested for tomorrow. Our doctors have found a way to get you all a pain killer that may just work for you all. We’ll drop that off in your cabin.” 

Beca and Chloe had hardly realized the day had nearly flown by as the sun was beginning to dip beneath the Colorado mountains. They agreed with Irene and headed back towards the cabin, a different feeling between them from what was said. Irene watched them leave from the window and then picked up her phone, “Yes, dear, it’s me.” She mumbled.

“Hey, how are they doing?” Anne jumped the gun rather quickly, her voice nervous from waiting the entire day and a half to get news back, “What did you do?”

“Oh they’re doing fine, dear. Nothing to worry about. Well.. nothing offering up the extreme solution can’t fix.” Irene chuckled to herself as she ran her hands through her shelves of potions.

“You told them you could sever the bond?” Anne sounded shocked at the notion of Irene offering such a terrible method. “I thought that we agreed-”

“Oh, don’t get fussy with me. You sent them here. Yes, we agreed to no serious magic. Besides dear, they’re still wearing their wedding rings. I knew they wouldn’t take it. Sometimes,. You just need to get the ball rolling. I needed them to start talking and giving them an extreme ultimatum did the trick. Well… that and a little emotion heightened incense can’t fix. Nothing but the best for a council member’s family. And get this, it’s not even a lie. All the incense does is brings up things they might not normally say if they’re trying to protect themselves and oh trust me-”

“Fine, fine. Your methods work. I get it. I just… I need my daughter to be happy again. Her and Chloe both. And I couldn’t let them continue on like that. It’s really starting to affect their pack.” Anne shot back through the Line.

“Don’t you worry, Anne. The fates on our side. Their ribbons are tied. They’re just having trouble seeing that right now. We have just the fix to take care of that.” Irene held up a little tiny bottle filled with a dark purple liquid, a smile on her face like no other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!


	12. I'm yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Super excited with all the comments and thanks so much for sticking around with me :) 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Please Review!

“Are the two of you…  _ okay?”  _

Beca looked up from the dust she’d been admiring on the floor, to the drink she held in both hands, her elbows held up on her knees, and to the familiar voice that had called upon her. It felt like a dream, the world was a blur of voices and casual conversation that Beca couldn’t seem to pick up on. Her focus had gone out the window when her brand blazed like she’d been thrown into the third degree. Instead, she tried to take deep breaths as others continued on with muffled conversation over dinner in the common room. Looking up now, she found recognizing the curves of Stacie’s face and the way the Betas eyes resembled worry, despite the enjoyment that the rest of the pack had in them. Beca could hardly bring herself to respond, as she just realized that Stacie had been referring to her  _ and  _ Chloe, who Beca hadn’t realized was also quiet.  Beca cleared her throat to speak, but no words seemed to come out. She just couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around what just happened. There were questions swirling across her mind that didn’t have any concrete answers. Did Chloe just agree to work on their marriage? Strengthen their bond? Had Chloe just agreed to move back in? To be a  _ family  _ again? What the hell were they going to tell the rest of the pack, even if the two of them could get back on the page? Was she okay with letting Chloe back in? Could they do that?

The room around Beca looked foggy and blurry, “What?” 

Aubrey looked into her glass of rum when she answered, “You two haven’t said much since you went in with Irene. Is everything alright?” 

Beca looked over at Chloe for the first time since they left the meditation room and she found her throat too dry to speak. Chloe squinted to look back at her as the sun creeping in the crack of the curtains illuminated her eyes. To Beca, they shimmered like the ocean at sunset against the background of Chloe’s hair. Without having the words to say, Beca noticed that Chloe had cut her hair above her shoulders since she’d moved to New York and Beca wanted to tell her wife how much she loved it. In fact, she wanted to tell Chloe about a lot of things. She wanted to tell her about all of the stars she’d met at the studio and how much she missed her. She wanted to tell her how much every day hurt to watch the rest of their pack move on with their lives and their relationships. But everything she wanted to say came with just as much pain. It all just felt like a fever dream. The way that talking to  _ Chloe Beale -  _ her best friend, wife, and mate felt impossible. How did they end up like this? Was Chloe’s brand burning the way Beca’s was? It was like hers had been ignited from the meditation room. 

Chloe cleared her throat when Beca seemed to be too displaced to talk, “We’re fine, Bree.” She offered an unconvincing amiable smile to her best friend. 

“Right,” Jesse rolled his eyes and chuckled, the rest of the pack agreeing that Chloe was lying. 

“Can I talk to you?” Chloe was surprised when Beca addressed her kindly and in front of the entire pack, “in private?” Beca added, after looking at the stares they received from their captivated audience. 

When Chloe stood up, Beca took her wrist and pulled her from the group and into the master bedroom of the cabin. Though, Chloe could hardly recognize they were moving because she was so focused on the burn that Beca’s hand was leaving around her wrist from the physical touch. Beca pulled her into the room and close the door behind them, resting her back on it to take a second to breathe. Chloe watched as her mate tried to regather herself and the Redhead wondered what was going through her head. She wished that they had the bond enough for her to know what Beca was thinking always. She was surprised enough that she broke through Beca’s barriers in the meditation room, “Beca, what is it?” 

Beca opened her mouth but shook her head when the words didn’t come out and once again she was speechless. Then she closed her eyes, shook her shoulders and arms out, and tried again, “I need to know.” Beca looked at the ground to avoid looking Chloe in the eye. Chloe swallowed at the way Beca’s voice dropped octaves, “and it might not be any of my business-”

“Anything you need.” Chloe cut her off by raising an eyebrow in curiosity of the question at hand. 

Beca licked her lips and looked Chloe in the eye, “Have you… been with anyone else?” Her eyebrows raised and Chloe could see her hands shaking. 

“Beca, you know by my scent that I-”

“I need to hear it.” This time Beca cut off Chloe with a more confident, demanding tone in her voice, “You don’t smell like anyone else, but I need to know you weren’t ever… that you wouldn’t…”

Chloe couldn’t help reaching out to place a hand on Beca’s shoulder, “Becs,” She swallowed and shook her head, “Never and no one else.” She let that sink in before adding, “No one will ever compare to you.”

“Bec? Chloe?” Voices rang outside of the master bedroom door and the sound of a knock on the front door followed. 

“Okay.” Beca turned back to leave the room when Chloe grabbed her wrist. 

“What about you?” Chloe asked, all of a sudden hesitant. 

Beca turned halfway to Chloe, a hand still on the doorknob, looked Chloe in the eye and shook her head, “No. Of course not.” And she left the room. 

Chloe reemerged to the living room last and when she reentered, she found the pack crowded around one of the health spa workers in scrubs standing at the door, talking with the pack, “Irene sent me over, I hope I’m not interrupting.” The short girl brushed a piece of her light brown hair behind her ear and Chloe furrowed her eyebrows. The girl had a distinct smell that Chloe couldn’t quite place. The Alpha could tell she wasn’t human, but what she was Chloe was at first unsure. Then, Chloe looked at where she had brushed away her hair and Chloe could see her ear, molded to a point. She was a woodland elf. 

The pack seemed to instinctually turn to Beca for an answer, “No, not at all. Is there something we can do for you?”

“Actually, if you all aren’t busy, she sent me to see if you all would try a team-building exercise with me,” The elf was rather quiet and she was lucky that the pack of wolves could hear a pin drop from a few miles away. 

“Uh,” Beca took a deep breath and look over her pack and then back to the elf, “Yeah, why not? I’m sorry, your name is?”

The elf scratched the back of her head, “Sorry, I should’ve mentioned earlier. My name is Larli,” She took a few steps into the cabin and passed the group the gathered around her, “Would you all mind coming out back with me? We could use the open space.”

The wolves followed Larli out to the backyard and she lined them up across the yard, “It’s a pretty easy exercise,” The elf took off her backpack and pulled out a few bandanas. She motioned for Eric to step forward and he did. She tied a bandana over his eyes as a blindfold, “One person to each pair is blindfolded and the other takes their hands, like this…” Larli walked in front of Eric and took one of his hands in each one of hers, “And you start walking. The goal is to make it across the yard without tripping or letting your partner fall. Blind faith, if you would.”

The pack exchanged a few looks and shrugs and decided that shouldn’t be so hard to complete. The row turned into pairs rather quickly, couples for the most part, while Eric stayed with Larli as her partner. Because of that, Beca and Chloe were left to be a partner as they knew they’d end up being.  _ Strengthening bonds and whatnot,  _ Beca thought, rolling her eyes at the whole thing. In the meantime, Aubrey, Jesse, Chloe, Benji, and Eric stood on one side and their partners stood in front of them. Larli handed out blindfolds and one by one they were blindfolded.

Chloe took the blindfold in her hand and felt her hand along the green bandana’s fabric. When her hand came off the bandana she looked up at Beca, who had been staring at her and the bandana. Chloe took a deep breath and reached up to Beca’s head, wrapping the green over Beca’s red, alpha eyes. Beca closed her eyes as the bandana came too close and Chloe took a step forward to tie it in the back. With her eyes taken away, her other senses heightened with her wolf. Beca could hear Chloe breathing in her ear. The warmth of her breath against Beca’s ear for the first time made Beca’s wolf yearn. In the back of her mind, it was screaming for Chloe to claim her, to come back to the way they used to be. In a small slit that Chloe hadn’t quite tied down yet, Beca could see the scar of their mating mark on Chloe’s neck. It was more fated than Beca had ever seen it in her life and if it was possible for her brand to burn more, it did. She felt like they were meeting for the first time over again, back in the quad of Barden University, at the activities fair. After all of her years of experience, Chloe still made Beca feel like she could lose control. 

_ If we tried, could we reconcile? If we really tried, would you take me back? Could I be yours and you’d be mine? Would you promise to never leave me behind again? _

Beca felt the knot tighten on the back of her head and felt Chloe’s warmth dissipated. When Chloe turned her attention back to Larli, the rest of the blindfolds had been fastened. Larli only smiled at them and raised her eyebrows, “Alright. Shall we begin? Let’s place a marker. Let’s try for everyone to make it to the treeline.” Larli pointed it out and everyone nodded, “Alright. Three!” At her word, partners turned back to each other and grabbed one another's hands. When Chloe’s hands touch Beca’s she could hardly hold onto them from the way they burned and she wondered if Beca felt the same, “Two!” Chloe swallowed and looked behind them. This was a trust exercise. She wanted more than anything to do it right, to show Beca she was the same girl she fell in love with. She looked out to the yard behind them and confirmed the layout. It was a flat land. There were hardly any rocks. This shouldn’t be hard at all, “One!”

The moment the word left Larli’s mouth, the flat ground shifted. Chloe could’ve sworn she heard a whisper of Latin. Now when Chloe looked back, the yard had changed. The woods had outgrown into the back yard -  large vines with thorns, breaks in the ground, rocks, and stones a muck. A walk in the park quickly turned into a much harder exercise. Chloe swallowed and looked down at her feet and then up at Beca, “Okay.” She mumbled, watching the thorns move behind her, “One step forward with your right foot. Make it high, there are vines.”

“Vines?” Beca asked, picking up her foot as she went, “I thought this was-”

“It just got a bit more complicated,” Chloe replied in a rather rushed tone. “Good now step down.” Beca did as she was told and Chloe took another breath. All of a sudden the yard looked much bigger than it did a few minutes ago, “Other foot. Nice and high and move it out to your right. There's a stone.” The instructions continued like that, though they weren’t getting very hard with how specific they needed to be. The yard was a field of landmines and on top of that, it was changing. Every few minutes Larli would move the forest around and create a new layout for them to avoid. Chloe watched others move and already they were ahead of Beca and Chloe. They weren’t talking as much, which Chloe assumed was because they were using telepathy and Chloe wished that she and Beca were strong enough to do that.

 “Use your bonds! You’ll need to communicate if you want to get anywhere!” The woodland elf called out to them, “Feel each other's energy! broadcast the world around you as you see it! Telepathy is a very low-grade part of a wolf’s abilities!” 

_ Did she just call us low-grade wolves? _

Chloe stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Beca’s laugh. It was like all of a sudden the entire world stopped moving and all she could hear was the brunette Alpha’s chuckle. Chloe swallowed as she listened to it. She stopped giving commands, stopped walking. Instead, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the fireflies filled in the dark, Chloe just held her wife’s hands. The entire situation, as she had imagined it a million times over the last two years. It was a dream that Chloe begged to never wake up for. She hesitated before asking as every other group moved passed them, “Could you hear that?” Beca licked her lips and nodded in the slightest to confirm Chloe’s suspicions. Chloe couldn’t help the way her smile filled her face with all of her teeth and her dimples. Before she could enjoy the moment all too much, vines began to wrap around Chloe’s feet and ankles. With a wince, She ripped her ankles from them and pulled them free - though not exactly avoiding the thorns they carried, “Shit.” 

“Are you okay?” Beca asked, still oblivious to the situation they’d been put in.

Chloe shook her head, “Yeah. Yeah. Perfect.” 

“Close your eyes! Visualize exactly what the yard looks like! Concentrate! Concentrate on putting that image into your partner's mind! Sense the auras around you. Visualize it. It’s the only way to move forward. The rest of you, trust your partner's third eye! Trust their sight.” Larli continued to speak out directions and Chloe tried to follow them.

The redhead did her best to follow what Larli said. She visualized the yard as she could see it and visualized in her mind. The more she concentrated on it, the clearer the image became. In her mind's eye, she could sense the auras around her. The forest was alive and therefore took form in her third eye. With her eyes closed, Chloe could feel and sense the forest around her. In the dark black space of her head, she could see the outline of each obstacle in a glowing blue hue. Squeezing her eyes shut, she used the same idea as she did to use telepathy to send her map into Beca’s mind.

 “I think… I think I got it.” Beca mumbled finally as she could see a map of blue auras in her mind, showing her the path to the other side. With that help, Beca stepped further and faster, following Chloe’s guided hands. While others finished up, they picked up speed and found themselves nearly there. That is, until the ground broke and left a jagged cliff between where they stood and the finish line. “There’s… I can’t see it.” Beca told Chloe, “It’s just… an edge.”

Chloe swallowed hard. It was a bit of a jump to get to the other side. It was easy for her, but now Beca was on the other side of it and she couldn’t get the image into her wife’s head, “It’s okay. It’s just a gap. You’re gonna have to trust me.” Truth be told, it was bigger than Chloe wanted to admit. They could hardly hold hands across it and Chloe had nearly slipped herself when she made the jump backward with her eyes open. Chloe could see the way Beca’s eyebrows still furrowed at the idea and her feet shuffles at the edge of the hole and Beca listened to how long it took before the dirt hit the bottom. It was further than even Chloe would’ve expected, “Becs, you have to jump. Just jump into my arms. I’ll pull you across. I promise.” Beca swallowed at this suggestion and took a deep breath in. Chloe could feel Beca’s heart racing over the jump. Regardless of whether they were in real danger or not, the act was hard. Her hands were shaking in Chloe’s. 

_ Here goes nothing.  _

And she leaped. Without a second of hesitation, Chloe pulled Beca across the gap and into her arms, nearly falling over in the process. Beca let go of Chloe’s hands and instinctually moved them to her wife’s waist to steady herself. Chloe stood still and stayed standing as Beca’s rock. The touch itself sent waves of warmth through Chloe’s body and left her breathless and unfocused. Chloe wrapped her now free hands around Beca’s shoulders and hugged her tight. As soon as they were in a stable position, Beca ripped the blindfold down around her neck and looked at Chloe, still breathing heavy from the trek. Chloe swallowed hard at the red eyes that greeted her own. Chloe’s took a shaky breath in when Beca’s eyes glanced down at Chloe’s lips and then back into her eyes. All but a few seconds felt like a lifetime to them both as they each almost broke down the walls they’d been hiding behind since they saw each other.  

“Alright. That was a pretty great exercise.” Larli smirked at them, while the rest of the pack looked at her like she was crazy.

“A little forewarning would’ve been nice.” Aubrey snipped at the woodland elf.

“If you had known, you wouldn’t have relied on each other so much,” Larli explained while at the same time turning the backyard obstacle course back to the way they had found it, “I would love to talk more, but Irene will want to talk about it in the morning and you all could use some rest before your run tomorrow.” And just like that Larli was out the gate of the backyard, leaving the wolves alone to deal with the aftermath. 

“Chlo, your legs,” Beca look down between them, striking a distance once again. 

Chloe looked down at her legs and noticed the variety of deep cuts all over her feet, ankles, and legs from where the thorns had dug into her skin. If Chloe was being honest, it probably looked worse than it really was because the blood was covering up what the cuts really looked like, “Oh, it’s nothing, really.”

“Come on, let’s at least get it cleaned up.”

The pack watched as their Alphas walked back to the house together from the treeline, all exchanging looks amongst themselves, “Did you guys hear that?” Emily asked when Beca and Chloe made it in the house and there was no longer a likely hood of them listening.

“Did Beca just call her Chlo?” Stacie chimed in. 

Aubrey linked her own fingers through Stacie’s and smiled, “Yeah... I think she did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Maybe we're getting somewhere?
> 
> Please Review!


	13. Thinking Out Loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia. Kind of shorter, but hey, it's still three chapters in three days! Hope you guys enjoy. 
> 
> Please Review!

Hours passed adjourning to their rooms, Beca found herself on the roof of the cabin, gazing up and into the night sky. Stars shot around the sky like soft fireworks, sliding between the clouds and brightening the night sky. Clouds filled in below the light and a warm wind blew leaves off the trees, circling around the full moon in all its glory. Darkness filled in around her as she watched the beautiful aurora that was the night sky in Colorado. Living in Los Angeles, she never got to see such a full night sky, twinkling stars and all. She couldn’t imagine the night sky getting any more beautiful. It just wasn’t possible. She had been there longer then she should have been and Chloe may have been wondering where she was, considering they were supposed to be spending their nights close to each other. She just couldn’t help herself. The past few days, being there with Chloe, it had all been an extreme change of pace for them all. She needed a few hours to herself. She needed time to think about everything on her own before returning to society. 

After so long, Beca was starting to truly give up on ever having Chloe in her life again. After the way they left things, it hardly seemed possible that they were here now. That her brand was burning and urge to  _ claim  _ Chloe was as strong as it had when they first met. Her skin burned at the touch and she could hardly feel the autumn weather settling into the dark night. She thought about taking a run through the mountains - about whether she would feel the cool wind through her fur. But if she did that, she’d take too long and there would be a search party out for her. She just wanted a second to think everything through, alone. Without Chloe’s scent calling for her mate. It was a weird feeling to know that all she had wanted since the day Chloe left was for her to come back home, but Chloe coming back brought up so many mixed emotions. Beca hadn’t stopped thinking about what Chloe said in the meditation room, about not chasing after her. Beca hadn’t even thought about it as a possibility two years ago. Chloe took her freedom to leave and did just that. Beca never thought in a million years that Chloe wanted her to chase after her. Did that mean that Chloe spent just as much time thinking about Beca showing up on her doorstep in New York as Beca wished Chloe had come home?

“I thought I might find you up here.” Beca almost jumped out of her skin when she heard a silk, exhausted voice behind her. 

She turned around to see Chloe, sitting in the window from the attic of the cabin, the same one that Beca had climbed out of herself and left open for her return. Beca took a deep breath and cleared her throat, “Been there long?” She tried to sound casual, but the muscles in her shoulders were still tense. It wasn’t often that someone could sneak up any of the wolves with supernatural hearing and all. She hadn’t been used to the feeling, but she must’ve been so lost in thought that she stopped being so aware of her surroundings - Stopped  _ feeling _ the world around her. 

Chloe shrugged and pulled her sweatshirt closer in the wind as she swung her legs out of the window. Beca couldn’t help but notice it was one of Beca’s sweatshirts, being as _Titanium Records_ was written down the sleeve, giving it away. After Chloe left, Beca had looked for the thing for weeks before giving up and getting a new one from work. She also couldn’t help but notice the switch between how Chloe presented herself in public to how she looked now, in private. The change was a stark difference. Private and public Chloe were both her, but they were still very different. Public Chloe wore makeup and stunning outfits that made Beca fall apart on the inside, but Private Chloe didn’t wear any makeup. She wore sweatpants, and giggled more, if possible. Beca loved getting to know both sides of the girl in the years they had spent their life together. Being in a relationship was like being able to kiss her best friend. It was something beyond her imagination. Chloe scooted down the rooftop to get closer to Beca, “Just long enough, I think,”

Beca swallowed and scratched the back of her neck, turning back around to the night sky. She pulled her legs to her chest and hugged them, “Can’t sleep?”

Chloe looked around at the view while she scooted down towards where Beca sat, “I could ask you the same question.” Chloe smirked coyly at Beca. That was a smirk Beca had learned came with her sparkling personality and one that Beca once wished to be the reason behind. In that way, Beca felt like Chloe was giving them permission to fall back to the way things were and Beca wondered if they could skip over the last two years of being alone. Chloe crawled down the roof and nudged Beca in the shoulder, “Hey,” She was biting her lip, but the words were meant seriously and Beca knew it. It was the most honest Chloe ever felt. Beca rolled her eyes and Chloe turned her attention to the night sky, “They’re a lot more visible in Colorado. The only bad part about the cities.” 

“Yeah,” Beca took a second to remember that Chloe grew up in Colorado, with a big family in a smaller house. It was part of the reason Chloe was so touchy. She had grown up in quaint quarters, so unlike Beca’s life. Beca grew up in a house too big for two people and too uncomfortable with her mother. But Chloe grew up differently. She grew up in a small town between the mountains brothers three-bedroom house and a pullout couch. They were complete opposites and Beca wondered if that’s what made them mates “There are too many lights,” Beca’s voice trailed off as she laid back on the slats. Chloe’s smile dropped to a straight light and dented her eyebrows toward her nose and she looked out to the sky. They shared a silence together for a few minutes.

_ Is this what you really want? _

Chloe swallowed and looked at Beca and their eyes met “I’m sorry, I can’t help what of your...” Chloe stuttered, “I heard that.” Her shoulders dropped, “I’m sorry.” 

The air was suddenly tense and Beca couldn’t handle the silence, “It’s okay,” Beca bit her lip as her dark blues met Chloe’s cerulean eyes, “You can’t help it.” 

“I...” Beca didn’t think Chloe’s voice could get lower, but it did. The tension was steady in the air, “I’ve missed you, Beca.”

_ I’ve missed you too _

A breeze blew through and Chloe tried to think about the last two years without Beca Mitchell. She dedicated all of her life to work, never stopping to take a breath in the silence that her one-bedroom apartment gave her. She wore her wedding ring and when people asked she lied about the life she had at home, about her beautiful wife. Well, it wasn’t a lie. Beca just wasn’t in New York. Then she went home and ate dinner alone. “This is.” Chloe said confidently and Beca furrowed a brow at her, “What I want.” Chloe looked at the sky. 

Beca reached over to grab Chloe’s hand and Chloe looked up at her, near shocked that Beca tried. Her eyes were shimmering. Chloe took Beca’s hand and both girls felt the burn of their brands intensify. Beca could only compare them to the colors in the night sky or the stars floating across the universe. The air was heavy for a few moments until Chloe cleared her throat, “If we want the others to get better, you can’t disappear like that. Irene said, physical closeness...”

“Right.” Beca agreed, peering over at Chloe before looked away. Still, in such a small moment, Chloe was awestruck from how beautiful she was, “We should get some sleep anyway. Who knows what we’ll have to do tomorrow,” When Beca pulled her hand away, both girls felt the brief pain with the loss of contact. Beca cracked her neck and stood up quickly, the pads of her feet sticking to the slats of the roof. After the brunette outstretched a hand for Chloe to grab on to.

Chloe nodded and put her hand in Beca’s. Beca pulled and Chloe came up, a small yelp coming off her lips at the quickness. But Beca pulled her until their bodies were near flush together and held on tight to Chloe’s back. Chloe didn’t look at her, her eyes were transfixed to the ground below them and Beca could sense Chloe’s nervousness about meeting Beca’s stare. She could practically hear Chloe’s heartbeat - rapid and loud enough to fill her ears. Beca took a deep breath and nodded, letting Chloe drift away from her. 

Chloe took a sharp breath in when she could finally breathe again. Silently, they crept inside and back to the master bedroom. They laid on their own sides of the bed, just far enough away from each other that they didn’t touch. The distance was hard to keep up with from the way their wolves demanded the opposite. But they did. They slept all night with a distance between them, until sunrise came with a knock on the door that woke Chloe back into reality. It was Emily, nervous and anxious, “Alpha,” Emily muttered in a sleepy voice and furrowed a brow.

Chloe nearly flinched at being called Alpha. She didn’t expect any kind of authority to be given after everything that happened. She tried to brush it off as Emily’s animal instincts kicking in with her Exhaustion, “Emily, What is it?” Chloe rubbed an eye and leaned on the door as she cracked it, being quiet enough not to wake Beca. 

“Is Beca in there? It’s nearly seven. She didn’t wake anyone up for our run this morning,” Emily explained and with the explanation, Chloe looked out the window to see the sun had already risen.

Chloe shook her head, “We must’ve overslept.” 

Emily shook her head, “Alph... Beca’s sleeping?” Chloe raised an eyebrow and confirmed Emily’s question, “Sorry, Alpha… it’s just. I never see Beca asleep. She stays up most nights. I’m just... surprised is all.” 

Chloe thought about it for only a brief second - a brief moment of hope that this was because Chloe was nearby - then shook her head out of the trance, “Go get the others. I’ll wake up Beca.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!
> 
> To the comment about f/f babies... I think I'll get into it, but I don't want to make any promises. I think I will! Though part of me wants to leave it at supernatural magic hahah


	14. Say you won't let go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a roll :)
> 
> Four chapters, four days!
> 
> Please Review!

Despite the late start, Beca took the pack on an extra long run through the mountains, pushing them to the acre limit of the Retreat. They circled the line of the perimeter like it was their own territory, though, their run was in a different dynamic than it usually was. Instead of the two Alphas leading the pack for their hunt, Beca led the pack alone. Chloe, on the other hand, stayed in the back of everyone, behind the pack and slower than the rest. She watched the back and watched behind them to ensure the safety of everyone, but to ultimately not to disrupt them all. After leaving them and all of a sudden reappearing in their lives, Chloe didn’t feel like she deserved to lead them anywhere. She was no Alpha to them and hadn’t been for two years. She wouldn’t force that or take a place that she hadn’t been offered by the pack unanimously, despite how badly her wolf wanted her to protect and take care of them. Instead, she stayed behind and enjoyed the autumn breeze that had settled between the mountains and the way it felt in her fur. 

Back in New York, she didn’t get many opportunities to go for runs. She had to take weekend trips out of the city to get to thick enough forests not to be seen by humans. Not to mention that she didn’t like running alone, without her pack or Beca. It didn’t feel right to be a lone wolf, running through the forest and hunting alone all while trying to avoid other pack territories. In the past few days, she’d been sore from the amount of times she’d transformed for runs because she didn’t do it often enough in New York. So now, she was trudging along, a bit sore and a bit rusty on her skills, watching the rest of the pack run between the treeline, thinking about her family and forcing herself to see everything she left behind. It was hard to look at it all and see it for what it was. And the truth was, it made everything harder that the pack seemed to forgive her for leaving. 

Chloe assumed It was because they saw how hard it was for Beca and Chloe. The pack as a whole, watched how hard it was for Beca and Chloe to get pregnant. The procedures, the bone marrow, the hard work to have _ their  _ child that would one day be the legacy of their families.  It was an experimental procedure that costed more than they ever would’ve expected. Their pack watched the months of failed extensive procedures and the tears shed it each time. They saw the happiness of finally getting pregnant and the ecstatic months that followed - buying items for it, talking about whether they’d have a girl or boy (though overall sex didn’t matter because their gender might change when they get older). They saw and felt the heartbreak after. But Chloe wished they didn’t forgive her. She wished they weren’t so understanding. She left because she  _ couldn’t stand  _ the pain that came with being in the same house as Beca, nor sleeping in the same bed. Going to New York, leaving her family, she regretted everything that came from missing out on two years of their lives. Which is why she didn’t feel like she didn’t deserve to be their Alpha. And she definitely didn’t want to assume a place that she couldn’t in right mind take without giving the pack a choice in the matter. 

Chloe nearly ran into Eric when the pack came to a complete stop, crowding around something Chloe couldn’t see from the back. Pushing on her hind legs, Chloe came to a stop, her ginger fur flying up with the rush of the halt. Confused by the entire thing, Chloe pushed her way beneath the other wolves and slipped to the front. The first thing she saw was Beca, puffing out her chest and holding her tail high - a protective stance of her pack to say the least. Obeying their Alpha’s silent command, the pack stood behind Beca, the furs on their necks raised. Taking the situation into her own hands, Chloe walked around Beca to stand by her side, against whatever foree she felt the need to protect them from.

In front of Beca, Chloe found a pack of five wolves, equally as enraged, an Alpha standing in front to protect,  _ I said, this is our territory.  _ Speaking to other wolves telepathically, those of whom weren’t in their own pack, was reserved for Alphas and only Alphas. An Alpha to Beta telepathy only came with a bond through a beta deciding to take an Alphas brand. Which meant the thoughts Chloe could hear from this strange Alpha were thought only she and Beca could hear. 

_ We’re not familiar with this territory,  _ Beca defended,  _  We just weren’t aware. Won’t happen again.  _ Despite her offerings, Chloe could see the way Beca’s shoulders tensed and teeth ready to bare. 

_ Yeah, it better not, pip squeak  _ The rogue Alpha scoffed, a snarl on his mouth and growl in his throat,  _ Wouldn’t want to tear you apart.  _

Chloe could see the way Beca attempted to hold back a growl,  _ I’d rather avoid the conflict.  _

_ Yeah, I’m sure you would.  _ He bared his teeth and Beca bared hers back as a sign of threat.  _ Oh and who is this?  _ The Alpha turned towards Chloe as she came into view of them besides Beca,  _ Oh my, you are gorgeous, aren’t you?  _ The black furred Alpha lapped at his lips and Chloe flared her nostrils at him,  _ Want to come hang out with us, sweetheart? I’m sure I can show you a good time. _

Before Chloe could say a thing in response, Beca stepped across Chloe, a low growl in her throat,  _ She is MINE. And you should learn not to touch what’s not yours.  _ Chloe hesitated at the action, her eyes watching Beca. Her stomach did flips at the thought of being Beca’s again. Just the idea that Beca would step in front of her and claim her to a complete stranger after everything was a crazy concept to Chloe.  Even through the distance of their bond, Chloe could feel the frustration shooting through Beca’s veins - she was angry, protective, jealous?

_ She doesn’t exactly smell like you, pip squeak,  _ The Alpha took a step closer and Beca growled at him,  _ What do you say, sweetheart? Want to be with a real Alpha? I can make you mine.  _

_ Back. The Fuck. Off.  _ Beca took an offensive step forward this time, still choosing to avoid contact, but Chloe could see that her mate was losing her resolve. 

_ And What’re you gonna do about it?  _ If Chloe had ever seen a wolf laugh, that would be it. The way his jaw dropped down and his teeth bared in a playful manner,  _  Okay, pip squeak, I’ll give you a deal. I’ll fight you for her. No betas, just us. Over her. _

_ I don’t need to be fought over -  _ Chloe started at the Alpha. 

_ Fine.  _ Beca cut Chloe off and turned towards the rogue wolf, while staying in front of Chloe. The other Alpha took a stance and the two of them stirred low growls in their throats. 

Before anything could happen though, Chloe stepped between them and forced an angrier tone towards them both,  _ I am NOT something to be fought over. We’re leaving. Now.  _ Chloe shot a disappointed look to her mate, then turned back to the strange Alpha,  _ We won’t come back.  _ She flipped her tail at him and led the pack back towards Irene’s reserve. At first, Beca stood speechless, looking between Chloe and the other Alpha. When the other Alpha dropped his stance, Beca gave up and followed Chloe which led to the rest of the pack following Chloe. 

_ Yeah we’ll see about that, Honey!  _ The Alpha called after them, which Chloe ignore and following her, Beca ignored it too. The rest of the run back to the cabin was quiet, with Chloe in the front despite her best efforts not to overstep boundaries. She didn’t talk to any of the pack to explain and she ignored Beca until they were back inside the cabin, getting ready to head to meet Irene. 

“What the hell was that?” Chloe finally broke the vow of silence in the master bedroom while she swapped into a clean shirt.

“What?” Beca asked, almost nonchalant for the whole situation.

“Why the hell did you give into that jerk? He was playing you and you went all for it. What the hell was that?” Chloe motioned with her arms while trying to put on a moss green tee, which made the process of changing harder than it had to be.

Beca changed into a pair of jeans and flipped her still wet hair from the shower  back after pulling them up, “You said it yourself, he was a jerk.” She mumbled, “Someone had to put him in his place.” 

Chloe rolled her eyes as she slipped on a pair of yoga pants, “Not at the risk of your entire pack. That was pointless and you know it.” 

“Chloe, don’t start with that.” Beca grumbled.

“Don’t start with what? It’s the tru-” Chloe started but Beca cut her off.

“Don’t start coming back into our lives and questioning my leadership.” Beca scoffed and seemingly shut Chloe up. When Chloe didn’t respond, Beca added, “You left your Betas and now you’re lecturing me on keeping them safe.” Beca threw on a dark blue flannel over her black shirt and bumped against Chloe’s shoulder when she left the room. 

Chloe sighed as Beca left. This was the exact situation she was hoping to avoid,  _ Someone needs to keep you in check.  _ And somewhere deep down, Chloe hoped Beca was listening to her thoughts now.

This time, Irene had everyone come into a different type of meditation room - one that resembled a more professional tone than the one she had brought Chloe and Beca in to talk. This one was built for more than just a small group, with pillow seats lining a center circle. Wooden beams came to a peak at the center of the room as well, with a chandelier coming down where the center of the room lie. Candles filled in the light that was blocked out by black curtains around the room. The candles were everywhere, though if Beca had to guess natural light would fill the room nicely if they had occasions where they took the black out curtains down. Incense and essential oils seemed to line the room, infecting the noses of the wolves, all of whom had a sensitivity to such strong smells. On the walls outside of the circle, Desks and drawers filled in with most likely whatever materials Irene might’ve needed. When the wolves were let in, Irene was sitting in the center of the circle and motioned for them to fill in around her. 

“Good Morning everyone,” A knowing smile tickled the tips of Irene’s lips, “How’re you all this morning?”

Benji answered first, his and Emily’s aura being the brightest out of the bunch, “Quite well and yourself?”

“Quite well.. does that mean any of you are feeling better than you had yesterday?” Irene chose to ignore Benji’s question and jump into the more important matters.

“Not exactly,” Stacie cut in and eyes fell to the Beta with a low cut v-neck and shorts despite the low temperatures, “We had a rough night last night. Eric and I were sick to our stomachs. Emily had another low fever.” Beca and Chloe exchanged a look at that, considering neither of them had known about any of it. 

“I see, I see. And the team building exercise with Larli, how did that go?” Irene asked, diving a little deeper.

“Pretty well, actually. I think we learned a lot and I would definitely say that it strengthened some bonds,” Emily smiled at the comment of her own as her eyes were staring at Beca and Chloe. 

Irene followed Emily’s stare and nodded before going on, “And the two of you are sleeping in the same room, right?” She asked Beca and Chloe.

When neither Alpha chose to speak, Emily answered for them, “Yes. They are.”

“Good, good,” Irene smiled a thank you to Emily, “And you went on a run this morning?” 

“Yes, we did.” Aubrey answered for the group.

“This is good work, I’m glad. Anything else you would like to share about your experience here? Anything else on your plate?” Irene was staring at Aubrey and Stacie, in a way hinting at the baby they hadn’t told their Alphas about yet, but neither of them spoke a word in response. 

A fleeting minute went on without anyone having much to say before Eric wouldn’t take the silence as an option anymore, “We uh, ran into another pack this morning.” Eric tucked in the hem of his sweater to his jeans as his anxiety of speaking about it settled in. 

Irene raised an eyebrow, “There’s a few on the outskirts of the reserve, yes. How did that go?” 

The pack all turned to the two Alphas who hadn’t said much of a word since they arrived. Chloe had her arms folded and she’d sunken into her pillow, “Yeah,  _ Alpha,  _ tell them how that went.” This time she used the term in a derogatory fashion that she knew got under Beca’s skin. 

Beca rolled her eyes at Chloe, which didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the pack, and looked Irene in the eye, “Must’ve accidentally crossed their territory, but it was fine.” 

Irene bit her lip and looked at Chloe, “Is that right?” 

Chloe swallowed, peered at Beca and than back to Irene, “It was fine until their Alpha asked me to be well…  _ his.”  _ Chloe could see the reactatory faces of her Betas as this was also news to them. 

“Hm and how did that make  _ you _ feel?” Irene turned back to Beca, who’s eyes burned with annoyance of Chloe bringing it up at all.

“It was fine.” Beca insisted, putting an emphasis on the word  _ fine  _ which made it obvious that it was not. 

“Fine until you went Alpha mind and had to claim your territory right? Putting all of your Betas at risk?” Chloe wasn’t going to let it go, not when it had to do with the safety of the Betas. 

“Are you kidding? He was the one who started this mess! He was a dick and he deserved it,” Beca flew her hands in the air, finally allowing herself to animate into the room.

“We’ve dealt with far worse traditional wolves than him and I’ve never seen you act like that, Beca.” Chloe kept a relatively level head to beat Beca down with the logical portion of her argument, “You went Alpha mind and you’re too fucking proud to admit it.” Beca jumped to her feet at this statement and all of a sudden screamed. 

“Because you don’t smell like me!” 

Chloe was all of a sudden uncommunicative, lost from her voice and staring at Beca with wide eyes. A stunned silence filled the room as any reaction was cut off by Beca’s words. Chloe looked up at Beca though and waited for more of an explanation. When none came and Beca was just breathing heavily and standing in front of her pack speechless, Irene encouraged, “Beca, why does that bother you?”

Beca rolled her eyes at the therapy talk, “Because he pointed it out.” She said simply.

But Irene wasn’t taking that, “But why does him pointing it out bother you?”

Beca sighed as she looked down at Chloe, their eyes meeting and the pain shining through. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out and when she realized the entire pack was staring her down, she couldn’t do it. She found herself running out of the doors to the meditation room and down the hall. When she was gone, everyone looked to Chloe who was on her feet and following before their eyes could find her, “Beca!” Chloe called out to her from down the hall, “Beca! Wait! Talk to me, please!” 

Beca whipped around with tears in her eyes, “I… I… it’s because… It bothers me because Because we were supposed to spend a life together! I am supposed to be yours and you mine. I am supposed to protect you, take care of you, and how am I supposed to…” Beca choked when she started to cry, “You don’t even smell like me.” Her voice cracked and broke with each word and her shoulders dropped, “You don’t even smell like me.” She repeated, a new somber and sober tone in her voice. 

“Beca…”

“And my brand  _ burns,”  _ Beca continued, ignoring Chloe’s pleas, “Like, like it’s the first time I met you all over again and I don’t know how I’m supposed to act… I just feel like I’m walking on fucking eggshells. I don’t know how the fuck your feeling because I can’t  _ feel  _ what you’re feeling. I hardly know what you’re thinking. We’re supposed to be a fucking team and you didn’t even come back to me on your own, someone had to bring you back.” Beca shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, she hated crying and Chloe knew how much she hated it more in public places like this. 

“Maybe we should.” Chloe said and Beca looked at her, tears streaming down her face, “Maybe we should start over.” 

Beca sniffled and wiped her own tears away, “Do you really think that’s possible, after all this time?” 

Chloe took a second before responding, “I think we have to try,” She took a step forward, “I think this…” Chloe motioned between them, “Deserves another try.” Chloe took a step forward and Beca’s shoulders tensed. Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca’s shoulders and held her tight, listening her mates attempts to calm her emotions, “I still love you, Beca Mitchell. I always have and I always will.” 

_ If you ever leave me again, I might break. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!


	15. Elevated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5/5 Today :) 
> 
> Wow guys, honestly. All of your reviews/comments/thoughts are blowing my mind! I love reading what you guys have to say about where this is going! 
> 
> Please Review!

Beca remembers the first time she’d ever heard about  _ mates,  _ what they were and how her parents weren’t. She remembers it vividly despite being five years old - it was after a morning run when she went over to Stacie’s house, back when Stacie’s parents were still alive. She’d heard Stacie’s mom use the word and asked what it was to which Stacie’s mom replied, 

“ _ It's a... well it's like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone that makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself - because they inspire you. They’re your soulmate… someone who you can carry with you forever. It's the person who knew you and accepted you - believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would and no matter what happens, you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that.”  _ Beca took that information and later asked her mother if she and her father were  _ mates.  _ That led to another kind of discussion and another one after that about their “special situation” and her mother’s own description as to who Beca’s mate would one day be to her. 

Beca never forgot what Stacie’s mom had told them, all those years ago, and it only meant more after Stacie lost her parents. She came back to it time and time again after she met Chloe and checked off the list to ensure that Chloe was for sure the definition of soulmate from Stacie’s mom's perspective. Of course, Chloe never disappointed. Chloe was a special kind of person and left marks on Beca that she’s never forgotten. 

One of those marks included that every year after she met Chloe, they did Christmas as a family - something Beca had never done with her own family. They visited Chloe’s family and made sure they were back either Christmas Day or the day after to have a Christmas celebration of some sort with their pack. Only, Chloe made a rule about Christmas that she ensured everyone followed. She told them not to spend any of their shared money from Beca’s inheritance on the gifts. She insisted that money wasn’t what made gifts mean something and that buying expensive things wouldn’t due. So every year, everyone would at the very least have one item that they made themselves; whether it be a photo book, collage, or mixtape. Some years, they would save up to get something really meaningful, which meant much more because they had saved up to get it. One year, Chloe worked double shifts every day to save up and buy Beca a mixing table she’d been dying for and Beca knew that it only meant something because Chloe spent her hard-earned cash on it. With Chloe’s rule, the pack came into a Christmas morning styled tradition around the tree, with cinnamon buns of Chloe’s mom’s recipe, and afterward spend the entire day together. That was all just one for the ways that Chloe lived up to the bar that Stacie’s mom set for her when Beca was so young. But if Beca had a scar for every mark Chloe left on her life, her body would be covered. 

When Chloe left, Beca’s mind circled and held onto one piece of Stacie’s mom's advice and repeated it over and over in her head.  _ Nothing can ever change that.  _ At first, Beca kept it as a mantra to make the worst nights, the nights she could  _ feel  _ the loneliness in hallowing out her chest, better. But as the first year dragged to a close, it started to feel like a curse. That even if Chloe never wanted to return to her, Beca could never feel any different. That the pain would never go away. That she would be stuck with it for, as they say, as long as they both should live. That no matter how much she believed in giving Chloe the freedom to make her decision to leave, Beca would never be free of her. All of these were the thoughts that were going through Beca’s head as she let Chloe lead her back into the meditation room, where the rest of their pack had continued to discuss without them. Beca tried to ignore the rush of heat that came to her cheeks when the eyes of her pack laid their eyes on her again. 

_ Fate sucks.  _

“Alphas, welcome back. Is everything… alright?” Irene greeted them with a smile, stopping mid discussion to give them a warm greeting. 

“Perfect,” Chloe whispered, getting the two of them back to their pillow seats across the circle.

“Wonderful,” Irene clapped her hands together, “I was just telling the pack that I’d like to try another exercise with you all. We were just talking about the ranking system within packs of wolves, the Alpha pair versus their Betas. We were discussing It’s important to talk about it since it has so much effect on how you live your lives. So I’d like to try an exercise with you...” Beca furrowed her brow at where the conversation was going, “I’d like to try out a role reversal.”

“What do you mean?” It was the first words that came out of Beca’s mouth, almost instinctively possessive of her role. Eighteen-year-old Beca would’ve probably scoffed at just  _ how  _ possessive she really sounded. All those years ago, Beca didn’t even want to be an Alpha. She never felt fit to lead anyone down her rabbit hole except for herself, but all that changed when she got her pack. They were her family and that meant protecting them. She hardly liked leaving her Betas alone. 

Irene only smiled, “For the next twenty-four hours, I’d like your Betas to take on the role of the Alphas. I’d like them to make decisions for the pack, decide when and where to hunt, pick a leader for runs, and any other responsibility the Alpha pair takes on the daily.”

Beca’s shoulders tensed as she sat up, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Irene chuckled to herself, “No, I suspected you wouldn’t.” She went on, “I’d like you to really think about this exercise. I think you could all learn a lot by assuming these roles. I think it’ll help by stepping into each other's shoes and really experience each other’s roles.” 

Beca wasn’t sure if she was speaking of her own devices when she started to speak again, “Okay, but I think we can understand without-” 

“Beca…” Stacie was the first one and it was hardly audible by the group, she was lucky for all the wolf ears in the room. It was a low, growl-like warning for Beca to relax, one that Beca would only take from Stacie. Stacie was her best friend and had been since they were younger than Beca could remember clearly. Stacie had never let Beca make a poor decision, even if it was a direct order as an Alpha, “We said we’d try, right?” Stacie and Beca made eye contact from across the room and Stacie raised her eyebrows at her best friend, her Alpha.

The Alpha made eye contact with her Beta and relaxed her shoulders. If anyone was the best person to talk Beca down, it was Stacie, “Yeah.. okay.” Beca mumbled. 

“Great,” Irene smirked at Stacie’s ability to talk Beca down, “So let's talk details. For the next twenty-four hours, the Alpha pair will be the Betas and the Betas will make the decisions. They will decide when you hunt, where you hunt, and when you run. Your alphas will listen to all of your orders, refer to you respectively as “alpha,” and they will take on every other responsibility of being a beta. During this time, I’d like you all to think about this new role and how different it feels. You’d be surprised what you can learn.” Irene than turned strictly to the Alphas, “With this time because the two of you will have less responsibility, I’d like you both to more quality time together. The more time you spend together, the sooner everyone will start feeling better.” Irene stood up and walked over to the cabinet, “To ensure this exercise is as accurate as possible, I have here a…” Irene stuttered as she pulled out a bottle of one of the cabinets that lined the room, “This is an obedience potion.” Chloe and Beca both cringed at sound, “Considering the two of you have the ability to control your Betas, I’d like you each to take some of this for this exercise. Once you take this, for the next twenty-four hours, you’ll be more susceptible to coercion.”

“I really don’t know if that’s necessary,” Chloe started to speak, this being her first outburst against it. 

“I assure you, Alpha, it is. You betas trust you with their freedom and in return, I think this is a good way to show your faith in them.” Irene returned the circle and put the bottle out for  Chloe take, “What do you say?” Chloe’s shoulders slouched as she looked around the circle at  _ her _ Betas. In the years she’d been their Alpha, she couldn’t have been more proud of them. Almost all of them had found their mates, created successful careers, and took time out of their days to take care of each other. Chloe wasn’t more thankful for anything in the world than getting to be there for all of their successes, weddings, and the sort. They had come a long way from that apartment back in Atlanta all those years ago. They might have had a few bumps in the road, but they were a family and it was one of the many regrets Chloe had about leaving. Maybe taking this potion and showing them that she’d just as willingly trust them with her freedom as they trusted her with theirs once upon a time, would show them how much she still loved them too. 

Chloe swallowed and Beca and she shared a nervous look, “Okay.” Chloe took the bottle, took a sip and handed it to Beca, whose eyes were wide with concern over this situation. She took a deep breath and repeated the words in her head over and over,  _ we said we’d try,  _ and she took a sip of her own. To Beca’s surprise, it didn’t feel like black magic and she didn’t feel any different drinking it than she did drinking a glass of water. When she was finished with it, she looked over her Betas, who all seemed to be surprised that either of them took the potion at all. Once that was taken care of,  Irene let them go early to focus on the exercise. 

For the Alphas, the role reversal started as soon as they left the room. While Beca instinctively felt the need to step in front and lead the group on their walk back to the cabin, she took the step down and thoughtfully let herself fall to the back of the pack with Chloe, staring at the ground the whole way and bowing her head. In some ways, it felt shameful not to lead her pack. This felt like more of a punishment than an teamwork exercise. She wasn’t sure how she could better her bond with her Betas if she wasn’t acting as their Alpha. It was against all of her moral instincts. 

_ “Why don’t the two of you head to your room? Spend some time together?”  _ Emily asked when they got back to the cabin and Beca opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. If she was going to follow the rules of this exercise and really  _ try  _ then she had to take on the mind of a Beta and she knew full well if she had made the same suggestion to her Betas, they would’ve followed. Instead of speaking, she nodded and followed Chloe back to their bedroom, which she was thankful she hadn’t been kicked out of because it was the master. Once Beca and Chloe adjourned to their room as instructed, the rest of the Betas met in the living room. 

“Does this feel wrong to anyone else?” Benji asked when no one took up the decision to lead the discussion, “I mean, I guess it’s not instinctual, but this just feels wrong.”

Stacie leaned her head on the back of the couch and folded her arms, “It’s just one day. We can handle a day.” Though the rest of the pack wasn’t too sure she was telling them or herself. 

“I mean, I, for one, am impressed. When Irene brought out the potion, I was sure that this wasn’t going anywhere,” Jesse joked, putting a hand on Luke’s knee as they sat together on the love seat, “I never thought either of them would agree to it.” 

Silent agreements passed through the pack through nods and only after Aubrey spoke up, “I think they did it for us.” She stared at the hardwood floor when she said it and didn’t look up to see the yellow eyes of the pack staring back at her, “I mean, I think they wanted to show us that they trust us with their freedom just like we trust them.” 

Stacie grunted at the thought and looked back down from the ceiling, “God, I wouldn’t if I were them,” Which received a few confused looks so she continued, “I just mean… Do you know what we’ve put them through? How many times we’ve ignored them or put them through hell? I mean, I can’t count how many times I’ve disobeyed direct orders. It took Aubrey a year just to accept that Beca was her Alpha at all. Jesus Christ, Jesse lost control and turned Luke with a fucking mating mark. How batshit is that?” Thinking back on all of those times, the pack chuckled with her just thinking about it, “Gods… I wouldn’t trust us with anything.”

Luke couldn’t help the way his lips burst into a smile as bright as the sun in midsummer, “Do you think other packs have as many turned humans as we do? I mean, I can’t imagine having to have the same talk Chloe gave me over and over again the way they’ve had. If I thought anything in the world was batshit, I thought she was. I practically flipped shit on her and I can’t keep count of the times that I freaked out on them both because I didn’t even understand what the mating mark was. But they never freaked out on me. They were always so in control.” 

“Yeah, I mean, even when they were so upset with me for losing control…” Jesse muttered, thinking back to how hard he made their lives by turning Luke the way he did. It was so hard for them to take their time when they were already halfway passed the point of no return. There were so many nights that Chloe had stayed up with him when he was crying over the fact that he didn’t want to push Luke, but couldn’t help how badly he wanted to be claimed, “They never turned their backs on us. Never punished us. I can’t count the number of times they could’ve made me obey, but didn’t. They wanted us to learn without being forced to. Our actions have always been our own.”

“Beca turned me without knowing anything about me,” Benji added, “She took responsibility for me before she knew my name.”

A wave of thick, concentrated silence passed through them before Aubrey spoke, “It makes me feel guilty, you know.” She put a hand on her stomach and everyone knew the secret she was referring to. Stacie reached over next to her mate and wrapped a hand around her wrist in an attempt to comfort her. 

“What if that’s just it…” Eric said, his eyes wide with a slightly unthinkable thought, “What if this exercise is about giving them permission?”

“Permission?” Emily repeated the word as a question.

Eric nodded, his lips breaking into more a of a smirk, “Permission to be together. God, if anyone deserves to be together, be happy… don’t you think they do? I mean, we know that they belong together and we know that that’s what Irene is trying to do. Jesus Christ, that’s what the brand is doing…it’s fate. It’s trying to tell them that they belong together and It’s affecting us because this is our family. It’s  _ our  _ Alphas. I can’t count how many times they’ve helped us. So who’s to say we shouldn’t be giving that same help back to them? They didn’t break because they don’t belong together, they broke because they can’t get passed… what happened. We promised to go through this with them, so why aren’t we doing more to help them?” Eric stood up, “I think we should have them go on a date.”

He looked over the pack who all stared back at him with the same kind of inspired look, “He’s right, you know,” Stacie was nearly in tears at the thought of how broken her best friend was, “We’ve stood idly by for two years now and let them break apart, all the while thinking about us first and foremost for years. I don’t think I can do that anymore. We’re in charge now. We should do it. I mean, they’re constantly thinking of us. Maybe they need permission to be themselves. No responsibilities… just the two of them. We know what’s best for them, we just have to show them that what’s best is for them to be together.”

A silent agreement passed between them before Emily asked the question that everyone may have just been too afraid to ask, “Do you think we can get them back?”

“We have to try.” 

In the meantime, the chestnut hardwood of the master bedroom became swollen charcoal as Beca tried not to rattle herself about this so-called exercise.  Her instincts told her to step up, to lead her pack the right way. To take care of them in ways that her Alpha only knew how and being told not to only intensified that feeling. The sound of Jesse’s bare feet clacked against the hardwood barely occurred to Beca as she lay on the master bed, forcing herself to stay still. The lodge creaked with the wind and revealed how old its bones really was. Trees whistled in the wind nearby, dropping the weather down further from autumn and closer to winter. 

Under the crack of the door, Jesse could see the light of Beca’s laptop screen leaking out. Jesse took a deep breath and then went to turn the door knob. He placed his hand on the cold metal, but hesitated and took it away. He shook his head and folded her hand into a fist. Instead of walking in, he knocked. A small muffled voice came from the inside, “Yeah?” Jesse gulped and turned the knob. Inside, he was met with Beca and Chloe, both laying in bed, but on their opposite sides and doing their own things. Beca looked up from her screen when he approached, “Alpha,” Beca’s straight lips curled into a cordial kind of smile, as Beca settles herself by curling her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms. Just the very notion of staying still and not sticking to her instincts was killing her. 

“Hey,” Jesse said to them, “Hope I’m not interrupting.”

Beca sat up from bed, closed her laptop, and placed it on the nightstand nearby, while Chloe, looked up from her phone, “Not at all.” 

Jesse scratched the back of his head and looked around for a place to sit, opting to sit in a chair in the corner of the room, “So we’ve been talking.”

Beca raised an eyebrow at him, “Right...” Her stomach did flips at his words. She hadn’t felt different since she took the potion, but Beca knew that if she was told to do something, she would because she was under the influence to do so. The thought made her nervous, made her hands shake. She wondered if this was the way her Betas felt daily, having given their freedom over to Beca and Chloe as their Alphas.

“What’s up?” Beca asked, trying to sound casual about the whole conversation, despite knowing it may be going down a road she wasn’t comfortable with.

Jesse tapped his heel against the hardwood nervously. He’d never given an order before and he wanted to make sure he did it right. Not in a way that was demanding, but suggesting. They didn’t want to enforce the potion, they wanted Beca and Chloe to agree to it because they were asked to and run with it, “We… We decided we’d like you to go on a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Please Review!! 
> 
> Next chapter should be fun!.
> 
> Soulmate quote does come from Dawsons Creek and I'm in love with it so I took it. I don't own that ;)


	16. You and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going for a perfect week ;)
> 
> Keep up with letting me know what you all think! Love hearing from you guys!
> 
> Tried to be nice :)

_ A soulmate is…. _

Chloe held the door for Beca when they entered a small coffee shop in a small town located at the crux between two mountains in Colorado. It was a peaceful rural area where the streetlights lit the one-way roads and every building was connected to the next. The bright, lantern lights made the first October snow of Colorado shimmer as the sunset early under the shadow of the mountainous location. It was just out of reach of Irene’s retreat and a beautiful secret valley of small-town life. It reminded Chloe of living at home with her parents growing up; the early October snow, the shimmering streetlights, and the way the sunset came earlier than it did anywhere else in the world. Chloe shook off the snow and cold as they felt the heat touch their noses. She wrapped her long brown coat around her body once more, covering the cute grey sweater she’d picked out for the night. In the warmth though, she took off her beanie and let her natural short curls out to warm her ears. She slipped off the mitts of her mittens down to fingerless gloves and squeezed her hand shut and reopened it, staring at the dark pink they’d turned in the cold from their walk. She looked back up to see Beca’s hat inches away from her face and wondered if the orange eyeshadow she’d let Aubrey put on was still sticking to her face. She wondered if the red lipstick was without smudges. She wondered what Beca was thinking and wished that their bond was healed enough to find out at will. She also thought about how much warmer she’d be in her fur. 

_ Well, it's like a best friend but more.  _

Beca stood in front of Chloe, just a few inches shorter, her eyes scanning over the menu board that illuminated their faces. Beca, on the other hand, had opted to keep her hat on and over her ears to keep the hair she’d just straightened before the left - not expecting any kind of snow in late October, especially after living in Los Angeles for so many years now. Her blue eyes made up by dark wings and a light silver shadow. Her lips gloss shined in the artificial lights. Her black faux leather jacket glistened with melting snow, while her jeans soaked in the snow she wished it hadn’t. Despite the snow, the two girls had walked for hours through the snowdrifts and wind. And despairing both of them dreading being alone and left to their own devices without responsibility, it was going  _ really well.  _

Instead of spending all of their time focusing on how stressful it was to try to repair the bond that affected their entire pack, they talked about anything but. Their conversation was nonsensically important without getting dragged down by the small pieces of pain that weren’t going to go away so easily. They talked about Chloe’s left in New York and her job at the hospital. How she’d worked so hard to make the ranks and made bank doing it. And they talked about  _ Titanium Studios _ (which Chloe couldn’t help but think of their time in the shower freshman year every time she heard the name) and how Beca had actually met the Wonder Years. How they’d offered their next album to her and how nervous she was to try a punk band out, but that it was also exciting because it meant expanding her brand. At some point in the night, Beca was recognized with her lovely wife (the one that Beca had, for two years, asked for privacy after the loss of their child), but they both knew how to handle a bit of press. 

_ It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else.  _

“Iced latte, three Splenda and hot coffee, black please.” 

Chloe didn’t know why Beca bothered to stare at the menu unless she was thinking about hot chocolate, which did vaguely plague Chloe’s mind. Chloe ordered and paid for it with a card Beca doesn’t recognize, a card Chloe most definitely had her own money on, which meant Chloe wanted to pay for it. It was a kindness that Beca tried her best not to ask about, following Stacie’s request before they left. Stacie asked that Beca refrain from bringing up such topics that could very easily be turned into something sour when they could have a pleasant evening together. And Beca was trying her best to follow the rules of the role reversal, so she didn’t say anything. After forcing herself to relax, this night was actually everything she wanted. They both felt like they were for the first time reconnecting, even if it was in a way avoiding the problems they both knew they had.

_ It's someone who makes you a better person.  _

“Iced latte in the middle of a snowstorm, who are you?” Beca joked instead as they move to the edge of the counter to pick up their drinks. 

Chloe smirked, a signature Chloe expression with lips long and wide dimples, “You didn’t grow up where it could snow any day of the year.” Chloe didn’t know when the conversation had gotten so casual between them, maybe when they were forced to be alone together for hours and no one could stand silence for that long, even Beca Mitchell. 

_ Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself - because they inspire you. _

“Chloe  _ Beale _ ?” A high pitched voice that makes Beca’s wolf ears cringe breaks their privacy bubble in two. Beca pins the voice down to the girl who’d just entered with another brunette woman. The blonde’s jaw dropped at the sight of Chloe and Beca cocked an eyebrow at the stranger.

“Tess? Jaymie?” Chloe, having forgotten about their drink orders, walked over to the front door to meet the girl and her friend. Beca trailed behind with their drinks in hand, handing Chloe hers when she arrived behind, “Oh my god, what’re you guys doing out here?”

“Girls weekend, but gosh, I could ask you the same thing. I haven’t seen you hanging around in Colorado since high school! And who is this?” Tess motioned to Beca, who was half hiding behind Chloe at this point. 

“We’re actually on vacation,” It’s a lie, but who cares, “And this is Beca Mitchell. My wife.” Chloe linked her fingers through Beca’s as she said it and Beca’s throat went dry. The two girls smiles grew and in their silence, Chloe added, “It’s  _ actually  _ Chloe Mitchell now.” Beca couldn’t tell whether this was an attempt to look good for old friends or if it was real. God Beca wanted it to be real. 

_  A soulmate is someone who you can carry with you forever.  _

“Oh, that’s right, where’s my head!” Tess rolled her eyes and pretended to smack herself on the head, “Your parents did tell me you settled down. Oh, oh, and they mentioned you were expecting. Oh! how old is the little one?” Beca felt her chest hollow out at those words and she wasn’t sure whether it was from her own feelings or from Chloe’s. 

_ It's the person who knew you and accepted you - believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.  _

Chloe’s jaw dropped, her fingers froze, her entire body immobilized at the mention of the baby. Out of this entire trip, no one had brought it up to her or Beca at all. This was it. The first time the miscarriage was brought into a conversation between them and with a total stranger at that. Chloe couldn’t breathe, think, feel. Her brain waves left the building entirely and she nearly dropped the latte, which had already started to freeze her fingers again.

“She’s two and a half,” 

Beca spoke and Chloe felt the world start turning again and all she couldn’t think was  _ she would’ve been two and a half, _

“Her name is Rose.” 

_ And no matter what happens,  _

The conversation didn’t last much longer than that before the two old friends skipped off to who knows where and Beca most certainly didn’t care. Once they’d left the coffee shop, Beca felt Chloe started to breathe shallow breaths again when she slammed her back into the closest wall she could stumble to, “Are you okay?” Chloe swallowed the dry lump in her throat and took a sip of coffee, which probably dried it out more than it helped. She managed a nod. And Beca squeezed her hand tighter, “It’s okay. Breathe.” Beca put a hand on Chloe’s shoulder and hid her eyes with her hair when they turned red. Without a second to lose she pulled a bit of the pain from Chloe’s chest and put herself through it. It wasn’t fun, but it helped Chloe from having a panic attack. Chloe was silent for moments before finally asking the burning question. 

“Rose?” 

Beca gulped, flipping her eyes back to their human color, “I don’t know.. after your mom. It’s just what came to mind.” 

Chloe scratched the back of her head and moved to a seat in front of the little fireplace the cafe had running, “Rose…” she let the name fall off her lips quietly, like a secret only for her to know, “I like it.” 

“Thanks.” 

_ You will always love them.  _

On behalf of their “Alphas” orders, the girls didn’t dwell on the topic, even if it was plaguing them both. Instead, they drank their coffees and worked their way back to a lighthearted conversation. Beca did most of the talking, which was completely unlike her, but she could feel the way her voice calmed Chloe’s nerves. So she kept talking. She told Chloe everything under the sun she could think about what happened over the last two years without being patronizing about Chloe missing it. She told Chloe about the moments she’d been most proud of their pack and when she’d been disappointed with them. The better parts outweighed the worse as always. It took a few more hours into the dark, cold night - but they recovered. And it gave Beca hope that if they could handle a conversation like that, they could handle anything Irene had to throw at them. Because both girls knew that they were hurting and now they both knew that the other hurt just as much. At the very least, it was common ground again. 

They decided to run back to the retreat, where their fur could keep them warm and they wouldn’t have to worry about catching a late-night bus they’d probably miss by talking, or shopping at late night places or uncovering the beautiful secrets the town had to offer. They ran back as fast they could beat the curfew that’d been set for them, but still missed it by a half hour or more. Walking in the dark cabin, they tried to sneak their way through, only to be caught by the Betas (Alphas for now) waiting in the living room for them to return. 

“You’re late.” Stacie tried to keep a stern look on her face when they walked in, but it had no real threat behind it, “We were worried.” 

Chloe took the lead at that, though never taking her hand out of Beca’s, “I’m sorry Alpha, we didn’t mean it,” She bit her lip in a pretend sorry fashion and pursed her lips out.

“Cut it out, we’re serious,” Jesse stated, his voice sterner than Stacie’s and actually made Chloe take a double look.

“You didn’t call. You could’ve been dead for all we knew,” Emily added, “Need I remind you that we’re responsible for the two of you? If anything were to happen to you, we don’t know what we’d do.” 

In the back of her mind, Beca was laughing. This whole thing, despite the nervousness at the start, wasn’t so hard after all. And maybe it did give them all a chance to understand each other’s points of view. If the tables had been turned and it was any of the other couples coming back late, Beca would've been acting exactly like they were. She wanted to protect them and maybe now, the betas might understand how she felt trying to keep them out of harm's way. Maybe the betas were starting to understand the responsibility it took to be an Alpha. Beca couldn’t quite say she minded taking the night without so much responsibility - even if it scared the hell out of her. Beca took the information in and tilted her head to the ground, “We’re sorry, Alpha. It won’t happen again.” 

“You’re right. It won’t.” Aubrey chimed in, “Go to sleep.” 

Beca and Chloe, though everyone had nearly forgotten the obedience potion, did as they were told immediately and went back to their bedroom - this time hand in hand. As they came in, they shed the layers of clothing down to shorts and tees to sleep in and laid down. At first, it was full of nerves as the two of them got into bed, the lights off and only inches away from each other, their brands only burning more from such an intense night. But after everything that happened, Beca didn’t hesitate to put out her hand and grab Chloe’s. It wasn’t exactly cuddling, but it was it a start. 

Holding hands, but facing away from each other, Beca heard Chloe’s groggy voice, “Beca?” 

“Yeah, Chlo?” 

Chloe turned “Is this the way you felt? When… we first started dating and I didn’t know anything? Did your brand… burn like this?” 

Beca took a deep breath before she responded, “This is exactly what it felt like.” 

_ Nothing can ever change that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Please Review!!


	17. I found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being patient and amazing as this chapter took me way toooo long. It's been sitting on my open tabs forever! Without further ado,
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> follow me on Tumblr @ezrajclarke
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> Please Review!!

_ Can’t you see, This is where you need to be? _

“I…”

Chloe had a box beneath her bed in her one-bedroom apartment in New York City.

“I think that as Alphas, it’s instinctual to be against any form of persuasion. And giving up that kind of control is nearly impossible for us.”

 It was a decorative box, worn over the years of use. The outside was dark blue with white loops around the edges and lid that was more of a navy, but it matched. 

“I think this was really eye-opening…”

The lid to the box hardly fit because it had been stuffed and over-stuffed, month after month without fail. 

“To know how just a glimpse of how it feels for you guys to put so much trust in  _ us... _ to give over that kind of control…”

On the inner ridge of the box, Chloe kept a tally of how many calls she’d received from her pack. 

“I can’t believe I left it all behind after you put so much trust in me.” 

Inside the box were letters, emails, and any other form of contact she’d received from the pack, begging her to come home. Her therapist told her to get rid of them or read them to work through the pain she was holding on to, but she couldn’t convince herself to do either. In reality, it was because Chloe knew she just wasn’t ready to come back to face Beca and the life she left behind because of their separation.

“I am  _ so  _ sorry.” Chloe’s shoulders slouched and the pack around them could feel everything Chloe had been holding onto since she’d left because her feelings we so strong they resonated. No longer did they feel like she left without thinking about what she was doing. They knew she did. They all knew how much true pain was there. On one side of Chloe, Aubrey reached out a hand and wrapped it around one of Chloe's hands in her lap and Beca put a hand on her shoulder. For the first time, Chloe felt like everything was on the table. Like, their family was possible again.

“It made me realize what we used to be like…” Emily settled on a painful choice of words that reverberated through the meditation room and affected everyone’s sense of security, “I mean… we took advantage of everything we had.” Emily’s eyes pained their moss green, human color and she looked at the ground, too afraid to say that to anyone specific, “Beca and Chloe…” Her lip quivered in hesitation and she swallowed the lump in her throat, “Nevermind.” 

Irene was off lighting a candle nearby, one unannounced to the pack, which would ease the tension between them, subtly. It was an empathogen, meant to increase their empathy and social connection, while still allowing them to be honest. Irene cleared her throat, “Go on, Emily. You can speak freely here. Pack dynamics don’t come into play in this room.” 

Emily took a deep breath and looked up - only regretting it when she did when she noticed everyone was staring at her. She had a hard time looking either Alpha in the eye, “I just mean… it was eye-opening to feel just a small piece of the weight you both carry for the pack. And It has me thinking…” She cleared her throat, “We took advantage of it all before. We had a real family and I miss it.” Emily wrapped her arms around herself when she was finished and a brief silence swept through the room. 

Chloe couldn’t help the tears that dripped down her face. After a silent agreement, Stacie added, “I miss it too,” Chloe looked up and their eyes met. They hadn’t spoken much since Stacie had pinned her to a wall, which felt like a decade ago now, but Stacie was talking specifically to Chloe and Chloe felt the words hit her like a ton of bricks. Chloe could feel that Stacie had an untrusting, worried kind of pain about Beca and Chloe’s relationship and about Chloe in general, but this was a start - she was giving Chloe a chance, “I mean I’m still pissed with everything that happened… but I do miss it.” She took a deep breath, “I agree, it was eye-opening to see what it felt like to be an Alpha. To be in control and in charge of everything that happened wasn’t fun and it made me grateful to have… the  _ two  _ of you.”

A silence fell over them all at that remark and Irene nodded, “This is a really great start everyone. You guys have come a long way in just a few days.” The group all seemed to agree, despite the pain that came with it, they were healing. They could feel it. Beca and Chloe’s date affected them all and helped rid them of some symptoms they’d been experiencing. Overall, they were on the up and up, “Tonight I’d like you all to have dinner together.” As she spoke, Irene pulled out a few different mixtures from one of the cabinets around the room before returning to the center of their circle with one potion of the mixtures combined, “With this,” She wiggled a bottle before them and a tension seemed to fill the air at what  _ this  _ one could be, “This is veritaserum.”

“What’s it do?” Emily asked, highly interested in what - after the last one - this could be. 

“Well, it's a truth serum.” Irene confirmed and looks of confusion passed through the group, “I just think, it might be best if you all are more  _ honest _ ,” Irene’s eyes subtly fell to Aubrey, who gulped, than her eyes scanned the rest of the pack, “With your feelings and all.” The betas all seemed to look around, nerves on the rise between them all, knowing the one secret Irene knew that their alphas didn’t. If they took it, there was a high chance someone would give it up if Aubrey and Stacie didn’t come out with the pregnancy already, “Veritaserum lasts for twelve hours and after you leave here I’d like you all to spend time together - besides you’ve all earned a dinner - I think.” Another tension passed between Chloe and Beca. As much as both girls had been dying to know how the other was feeling while their bond was a muddled version of disconnect - being completely honest felt rigid. It felt nerve-wracking at what feelings could come up or what fights it might rehatch before they separated in the first place. But all at the same time, Irene hadn’t steered them wrong yet. Each exercise, with its own tension, had brought the pack closer together. By now they were halfway through the retreat and while things were getting better, they still had a long way to go before they could return to a normal life. 

With weary looks between them, one by one they took the serum. And that, in its own way, felt like another commitment to the betterment of the pack. It felt like a sacrifice, unknowing of what they would say out loud for the next twelve hours. For the Alphas, it was yet again another choice to give up the control they so desperately worked to hang on to. Once it passed around to Stacie, she looked at her wife and her lip quivered. Aubrey nodded,  _ Fingers crossed.  _ Stacie took a drink and Aubrey followed. The Veritaserum left a sour taste in their mouths and a peanut butter dryness. 

Irene let them go and they did what was suggested of them, they went out to a restaurant right outside of the retreat - it was half bar, half restaurant. As they traveled from one place to another, the tension was thick and hanging in the air. It was as if they were waiting for the ball to drop. For someone to say something that nobody else knew or admit something they might not have admitted otherwise. Of course, the betas all seemed to know the secret they were trying to keep in. Besides, it’s not like they’d be asked about Aubrey’s secret pregnancy right? If they could avoid that kind of subject, then the next twelve hours would be easy. As if anything in their lives had ever been easy. 

Beca, leading the pack inside, opened the door for everyone to follow and lastly, for Chloe, “Thank you,” The redhead practically whispered it - as if she was afraid to say anything on this new potion, but Beca heard her.

“You look beautiful,” Chloe could see the way Beca’s eyes were wide that it wasn’t a sentence she had planned on saying - the start of a very long night on the truth serum. 

“You’re the one who’s beautiful,” Chloe remarked, a smirk on her lips. Beca may not have planned on saying it, but Chloe knew what she was saying and wanted to say it. The truth serum also gave her the liberty to say what she normally felt like she couldn’t. Now, at least, she could blame it on something out of her control. 

A hostess took them to a large round table, one of the only tables in the place that would fit the pack. She handed them out menus and explained that their waitress would be with them soon. Everyone began flipped through their menus, though Emily didn’t seem to interest, “She’s cute,” She remarked and quickly covered her mouth. This caused the tension to break, subtly, as everyone began to laugh and Benji elbowed her for saying it, “I’m sorry it just came out.” Her eyebrows indented in that cute way they always did when she said something she may not have meant to say - though, truth serum or not she usually found herself in situations like that. 

“She’s not wrong,” Stacie added, earning her own elbow from her wife, “What? She _ is _ .”

“Hello everyone,” Their waitress walked up in the midst of the laughter and commotion, “How’re we all doing today?”

“Pretty good, how about yourself?” Chloe asked, always being the social bird of the crew.

“Good, good, Have you all looked over the menu? Can I get you all started with something to drink?” 

Eyes scanned over everyone, “Can we get a round of sangria?” Beca asked and the waitress nodded. 

“Aubrey can’t have alcohol, she’s-” Luke opened his mouth and covered it just as quickly, unable to finish his sentence. 

_ That was quick. _

Beca cocked an eyebrow at Luke and then at Aubrey, “She’s what?” 

When an answer didn’t come quickly the waitress cut in, “I’ll give you all a minute,” She said, making a quick exit.

Beca scanned over her pack. Eyes were wide, eyebrows were raised. Many of them were staring at Luke with a sense of disbelief passing through their veins. Beca’s lips were parted, eyes suspicious, “What’s going on here?” 

“You’re pregnant,” Beca looked back at Chloe, who’d stated the words - whose eyes were filling with a newfound pain. The redhead was staring into Aubrey’s eyes and both girls’ eyes swapped for that of their wolves, “Am I right?” Aubrey could only seem to manage a nod. 

“I don’t understand,” Beca’s eyes mirrored that of Chloe’s, both red and brimming with tears, “What, Why - How long have you known?” 

“A month, almost two,” Stacie said when Aubrey couldn’t come up with the words to speak. Stacie stared Beca in the eye and Aubrey stared at Chloe. It was almost a form of submission, the way Aubrey and Stacie bowed their head across the table - a way of showing their apology instinctively. The stare went on for minutes, as if it was a standoff between the four of them. 

Chloe finally broke the stare and her eyes dropped back to blue with her energy seemingly dissipated. The tears finally fell over the edges of her eyelids and streamed down her face, “I’m sorry,” The words were almost inaudible, “I’m sorry - I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to be upset,” If she hadn’t taken the truth serum she would’ve put on a good face, smiled, and congratulated them. Beca put a hand on her shoulder and Chloe could feel her pulling out the emotional trauma. 

“Chlo, It’s okay.” Aubrey confirmed, tears filling up her eyes, “I’m sorry,” She nodded to Beca as well, who seemed to be having a hard time keeping it together herself. 

“It’s not okay,” Chloe told her, “I want to be happy for you, I do. And somewhere… I am…” She looked at Beca, “I just... miss our baby girl. Every day, all the time. I miss what it would’ve been like to have her. To teach her everything. Bree and I always said our kids would grow up together… I just…” She couldn’t stop herself from sobbing or saying the things she’d been bottling up inside for too long, “I’m so sorry.” 

“I miss her too.” Chloe and Beca’s eyes met and all of a sudden both girls could feel the barrier that had been stopping their connection disappear. All at once, Chloe could feel loads of pain coursing through Beca’s body and Beca could feel the same. They could hear each other’s thoughts, “I miss her every day, Chloe. Just like I’ve missed you.” 

Chloe took a shaky breath in, “I want to come home.” She looked around the group, who all seem surprised by the sudden burst, “I can’t miss another… I can’t miss another moment with my family… I-” She looked back into Beca’s eyes and Beca had never seen her eyes twist in such a color. The outer edges were red and blue speckles, twisting into spots of deep purple that combined the two, “If… you don’t want to get back together with me. That’s okay. I, I don’t deserve your trust or your forgiveness Beca. If we can just try to be friends… Then maybe we can make this work, but I can’t go back to living alone in New York. I won’t live another day without you.” She looked to the whole pack, “Without any of you. I can’t.” 

“I don’t want to be friends,” Now, Beca had no control of what she said - it could only be her truest feelings, “You’re… you’re my mate, I… I’m in love with you Chloe Beale.” Beca wiped the tears that she refused to let fall from the edges of her eyes. She hardly realized she was saying the words in front of her entire pack, “You’re my wife and I don’t want anything less than that.” 

Chloe took in a shaky breath, more tears streaming down her face, “I’m in love with you too.” 

_ “Finally,”  _ Jesse muttered and everyone smiled and laughed in agreement.

She cleared her throat and both girls looked at the rest of their pack, who were all smiling back at them and their confessions. Chloe cleared her throat, laughing through the tears, “Um. In other words, congratulations!” Everyone laughed and Chloe looked between Aubrey and Stacie, “I’m so happy and  _ so _ proud of you both.” 

“Thank you,” Aubrey muttered and both Stacie and Aubrey gleamed with the recognition - with everything finally being out in the open. 

“Congratulations,” Beca agreed, her eyes more geared toward her best friend, to her practical sister, Stacie, “I guess we have to get started on a nursery.” 

The waitress came back with a tray filled with wine glasses of sangria, “Here you all are,” She mumbled.

“Could we get a glass of water if you don’t mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!!
> 
> Love you all. Be on the lookout for a new fic by me? Might have something to do with spells and Halloween ;)


	18. Came Out Swinging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day? Enjoy!
> 
> Please Review!!

“You guys aren’t, mad are you?” Aubrey asked, her eyes scanning Beca over once and then Chloe. This was after dinner, back at the cabin, right before they were headed out on a nighttime run, as suggested by the note from Irene. The blonde's eyes were flipping between yellow and blue. Beca and Chloe could both sense her insecurity. Pack politics meant she shouldn’t have kept such a secret from her Alphas. It’s an important change of pace for a pack to introduce a new generation. Aubrey was scared that Beca and Chloe would be talking about reprimanding them. It usually wasn’t in Beca and Chloe’s interest to punish anyone who didn’t deserve it, they’d hardly ever done any with their pack. But it was also in Aubrey’s instincts in relation to pack dynamics. 

Beca and Chloe looked at each other and a familiar feeling filled Beca’s chest. They were making decisions together again. It felt right. Even if they didn’t have everything figured out. It was the right direction. Though it wasn’t much of a decision to make at all, “No, Bree, of course not. You were protecting us when we should be the ones protecting you.” Chloe’s shoulders slouched - her natural role was acting as an Alpha, but it felt wrong to take back control after two years, “If anything, it’s our fault for not taking care of you all.”

“Are you kidding? You two are the best Alphas we could’ve asked for.” Jesse said, popping in on the conversation as they walked out to the backyard for the run, “The two of you take care of everything for us. You two protected us before you really knew some of us,” The truth serum hadn’t let off and it hadn’t been so bad. They all still loved each other and without any secrets, it was hardly an exercise anymore.

“Thanks, Jesse, but you guys don’t have to sugar coat it. I don’t want to act like the last two years didn’t happen-“  Chloe started.

“Two years isn’t a third of the time you’ve spent being an amazing Alpha, Chloe.” Emily but in before transforming into her beautiful, brown wolf form. 

“She’s right, Red. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Chloe found the voice came from Stacie, who’d been leaning on the back of the cabin with a foot kicked up. 

Transformations finished through the pack and the run began. Finally, the pack’s formation was back to normal and nothing felt more right. Beca and Chloe led side by side, followed by Stacie and Aubrey, Emily and Benji, Jesse and Luke, and Eric took the tail end. As they went, Beca and Chloe took turns swapping to the back, to ensure the safety of their crew. Finally getting their bonds in order extended their run by hours under the moon. Leaves crunched beneath their paws. The colder season-changing airbrushed through their fur. The wind howled between the trees. The night engulfed the wolves in shadows of the forest that blocked the starlight from them and covered their tracks. Nocturnal animals came out from their homes and those of the daylight crawled into their homes. It was a beautiful thing to run the forest while being a part of it - it was completely different from walking it as a human. Chloe found it hard to remember being human and human alone. 

The wolves only came to a halt when a smell changed their pace. A smell that was familiar to them all, but not familiar in any good sort of way. Instead, it raised the Alpha’s fur and sent them into a protective, possessive rage. The scent was quickly located to the fast-approaching pack coming into their view. Beca and Chloe both stood in front of their pack as the Rogue Alpha they’d met a few days before, ‘thought we told you to stay off our territory.’ The alpha remarked as he approached, his pack following closely behind. Beca rolled her eyes at their dark furs, puffed out chests. They looked like cultists.

Beca snarled at him,  _ this isn’t your land. I know it’s not. We’re still on retreat territory. _

_ Oh, no, this is ours. Did I mention we expanded our territory? _ He showed his canines in all but a smile at his own joke.

_ What’s your deal, dude?’ _ Beca, still under the impression of the truth serum, wasn’t in the mood for formal actions.

_ Nothing, _ He brushed passed Beca and made his way to Chloe, getting way too close for comfort,  _ Maybe I just wanted to see what will be mine.  _ Chloe swallowed at the voice he pushed into her head,  _ How’s it going, sweetheart? _

_ Fuck off, _ Chloe growled, her ginger tail raising with her fur.

_ Feisty,  _ He remarked, _ Come on sweetheart, come home with me. I’ll make you mine and you can raise our little Alpha, hm? _

From her place behind him, Beca could see the brand on his shoulder. Now she was sure of where he came from. His brand was that of cultists. They were terrorists of the wolf society, those who caused the legends humans believed wolves to be. They killed innocent humans, hurt people. ‘Leave her be,’ Beca growled, her possessive nature shining through. When they first appeared, she tried not to speak and tried to remember Chloe telling her not to risk the safety of the pack. But with the truth serum coursing through her veins, she wasn’t in control of it. This was her Alpha and Chloe was hers.  

_ Oh come on, you want to be with this pipsqueak? _ He swiped his tail beneath Chloe’s chin, which made Beca’s skin boil. He turned to Beca and looked upward, a sign of disrespect,  _ Come on sweetheart, she’s nothing compared to me. I’ll treat you right and give you what you really need, sexy.  _

_ Please, Chlo. I can’t take this. _ Beca turned to Chloe and Chloe knew she was the only one who could hear It. It felt good to hear Beca’s thoughts again, to have a conversation in the crowded place only between them,  _ He’s not going to stop... I can’t help it. You’re mine. _

Chloe’s eyes slipped to Beca and their red eyes met each other, _ I’m yours, _ Chloe agreed and leaned her head down to the side - revealing the faded scar of Beca’s mating mark. Beca’s eyes widened at the show of submission - the acceptance of being Beca’s. Beca swallowed and she could’ve sworn she’d seen Chloe smirk.  

Beca stepped forward between Chloe and her predator. She dug her paws into the dirt and leaned into it, a predation position,  _ Bring it, asshole. _

_ Oh, what? Now you’re ready for that fight? Not gonna run away like last time? _ The Alpha puffed his chest out further. 

_ Back away. _ Beca commanded the pack and they did. She watched as the other pack did the same, leaving only her and the Rogue Alpha in the center,  _ you and me. _

_ Don’t say you didn’t ask for it.  _ The black wolf lunged for Beca and Beca lunged back. He went for her neck but Beca used her smaller size to duck beneath him and claw across his stomach, leaving a deep cut. 

_ That’s a warning, back down.  _ Beca commanded, but the Alpha only snarled and lunged again - this time for Beca’s side. Beca jumped, but not in enough time. He shoved her backward with his shoulder and she fell into the dirt. She made an effort to stand as he did the same, but she was slower than him. He stood first and bit at her stomach, hard.

_ Beca! _ Chloe called.

Beca could feel his teeth clench into her stomach as he pulled her up by it and threw her across the forest. The bite was deep, jagged, and bleeding fast. She struggled to stand and no one came to her aid - despite how bad they wanted to. A fight between Alpha’s had an honor to it. If anyone intervened, they would disgrace the Alphas standing. The Alpha snarled again and made a run for where he threw her. Beca stood and prepared for the attack. Once again, his ego took the best of him and went too high for her smaller body. Beca rolled beneath him and lodged a bite into his hind leg, which made him fall. She didn’t let go of his hind leg as she picked herself up and pulled him around. Thankful for the strength of wolves, she ripped his body up and threw him it at a nearby tree. 

Everyone could hear the snap when the two collided and the wolf fell to the ground. Once he hit the floor, he transformed back to human form due to the pain. As a human, his long black hair covered his face and his leg had a bigger gash than Beca had intended on leaving. His upper torso had a claw mark from the top all the way down his stomach. A wolf from his pack nearby, scooped him up and onto its back, ‘Don’t come back,’ Beca growled as they left. Beca didn’t drop to the forest floor until the other pack was out of sight. It was only then that she allowed herself to look weak and dropped to the ground. She felt the pain coursing through her stomach at the new bite mark. A bite mark from a wolf was forever and it would not heal with their abilities. As soon as she fell, she passed out. 

The next thing Beca knew, she heard a man’s voice that she couldn’t quite place a face to. She couldn’t quite open her eyes either. She felt the pain coursing through her veins and to the area of injury. Her stomach ached from the bite and outward, causing the rest of her body to convulse with pain. She felt like she’d been whipped out by a tidal wave - she couldn’t take a full breath without a sharp pain all over. She couldn’t move either. There were more voices she recognized, but it was hard to understand them. They were muffled to her ears and she tried to pay close attention even though she couldn’t open her eyes. The man she didn’t know was saying, “It’s a severe wound. Wolf bites have venom that’s resistant to your healing abilities. It’s the reason why your mating marks last. Wolf bites are forever. It’ll scar, but it’s going to take time to heal. A month, maybe.” 

“A month? Seriously?” That was Emily’s voice, Beca wouldn’t mistake a member of her pack. 

“Unfortunately, we see a lot of Alphas with these scars. Too possessive, too angry,” Another voice Beca didn’t know cut in - a nurse?

“Beca’s not that kind of Alpha,” Stacie cut in, “She’s nothing like that. They were part of a cult.” 

“A cult?” Aubrey asked. 

“They’re against the council. They hurt humans.” Stacie confirmed what Beca couldn’t speak herself. There was a mumble about between the doctor and the nurse and Beca assumed he dismissed her. 

“Really? A month?” Chloe’s voice sounded small and Beca could tell she’d been crying. 

“Wolf bites are tricky business. I told you before the supernatural don’t like being messed with. I couldn’t speed it up if I tried,” Irene was there too. 

There was a snapping sound, like the doctor had been taking off his gloves, “I’d recommend renewing your mating mark,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!!


	19. Bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia! Please Review!

The next time Beca woke up, it was to a warmth on the side of her body. This time, she could open her eyes. From the window in the master bedroom, she could see that it was late into the night. In front of her, the TV was on, playing some cartoons she didn’t know, and there was ginger locks obstructing her view. She swallowed, harshly, as she realized the warmth on her side was radiating from her wife, who hadn’t cuddled with her in two years. The redhead's arm was laced around Beca’s waist, careful not to touch the wound that Beca could cognitively recognize now was from her fight early in the evening. Still, Beca could feel Chloe’s fingers rubbing against her ribs beneath the shirt Chloe had most likely put her in after they’d gotten back. Even with the obstructed view, Beca could see that it was Chloe’s Wonder Years shirt, which made her smile. She was groggy and in pain, but feeling Chloe’s other arm wrapped around her own made everything feel better. Not to mention the fact that Chloe’s head against her chest made her brand burn in ways it hadn’t in years. It reminded her of the first month of their relationship when she’d gotten hit by a car all those years ago.

She moved to get more comfortable and felt a shooting pain from her stomach outward. She grimaced and sighed at the pain, which showed Chloe she was awake. The redhead sat up and looked at the bandages wrapped around Beca from her hip bones all the way up to her belly button, “Try not to move, baby. I don’t want it to bleed again,” Beca’s stomach flipped over the word baby. 

“Right,” Beca winced and she knew her body was too weak, “Wolf bites are a son of a bitch.” 

“That’s what the doctors say,” Chloe smiled sympathetically at her mate. Chloe could feel the ghost pain of the wolf bite on her own stomach. It kind of made her smile the way that the two-year-old scar on her neck could still connect them in such a way. 

“Where’d everyone go?” Beca asked, recognizing the plethora of smells that filled their room from the pack that congregated a few hours before.

“I sent them to bed. Couldn’t have them all waiting up if we’re going on a run at sunrise,” Chloe hummed in that tone that sounded all too authoritative. Beca felt a pang of guilt at how motherly it did sound.

“Thanks, Beale,” Beca laughed, but even laughing hurt, “A morning run, huh?” 

“Not for you, silly.” Chloe got up and shuffled through a plethora of bandages and medical items that were left on the table nearby, “You get to stay in bed and rest. Be a while before you get to go on a run. I should change your dressing soon,” Chloe took a deep breath, her gaze turned away from Beca as she added, “And you should probably redo my mating mark,” Chloe said the words fast - as if such a statement could go unnoticed by her wife. 

Beca cocked an eyebrow at the redhead, “What did you say?” 

Chloe clenched her eyes shut and turned around slowly, a new wrap in her hand, “That I should change your dressing?” 

“After that,” Beca started until Chloe opened one eye to check.

Chloe sighed and her shoulders dropped, “Renewing our mating mark will help you feel better,” She mumbled.

“That’s why you sent them to bed,” Beca nodded in angry understanding, “So you could ask me to bite you,” 

“Beca...” Chloe wined, “I just want you to feel better,”

“A week ago you were sure you would never live with us again,” Beca said it like the true Alpha she was, no shame in the words at all - no obvious sadness, “A week ago you wanted to stay separated.” 

“A week ago, I thought you’d never want me.” 

Beca’s eyebrows twisted at the harshness, “How can you say that?” The alpha tone dropped to a whisper.

“How could you want me? I’m an everyday reminder of your pain. I-I-that I wasn’t strong enough to give us a baby!” Her voice was shrill and tears were streaming down her face.

Beca struggled to sit up and Chloe put a hand out for her to stop, but she was relentless and stubborn. She sat up against the headboard of the master bed and looked Chloe in the eye when she said, “Chloe, that wasn’t your fault.” Beca told her - tears brimming in her own eyes, “You listen to me. What happened, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you.” 

“I understand if you don’t trust me enough - I don’t deserve to make you mine,” Chloe’s voice was soft and if neither of them werewolves, her words would go unheard, “But reaffirming mine could make you feel better and, and I-“ her words stopped when her blues met Beca’s red ones. She sighed and picked up the ointment from the table. She returned to bed and straddled Beca’s legs. Beca cocked another eyebrow at her before she realized what was happening when Chloe started undoing the bandages around her waist. 

Beca watched intently, silently, the way Chloe moved. The way her fingers moved the bandages, ensuring no further pain was caused - though it wasn’t exactly the normal way a doctor would. Once she pulled off the old bandages, Beca looked down at the bite mark that would forever be edged into her smooth skin. She saw it with her own eyes, the deep molds of the Alphas canines - one large circle. It ranged from the left side of her belly button down just below her hip bone just above where her shorts were. The ointment - whatever it was - felt cool against her skin. Chloe’s fingers were gentle around the deep lacerations, watching Beca face for reactions of pain. Without success, Beca tried not to wince. She had a hard time and Chloe seemed to let off sooner to let Beca relax. Beca pulled herself up in the slightest to allow Chloe to put on the new bandages. Chloe wrapper them around Beca a few times until the entire bite mark was covered. 

 “I don’t want to do it because of this,” Beca finally said, her words low but soft, referencing the wound across her stomach, “It’s not a bandaid for anything that’s happened to us.” 

Chloe sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, took a second to think before looking back into Beca’s eyes, “It’s not a bandaid. I love you. I want to be yours. More than anything.”  Chloe’s eyes swapped blue for red in an instant, “Nothing feels right without you.” This was one of those times that Chloe wished to read Beca’s thoughts, but they had both agreed years ago that without permission, it would be an intrusion. Especially in moments like this. 

Beca looked into Chloe’s eyes and opened her might. She let her eyes drift to the floor as she thought, then came back to Chloe, “I don’t want you be leaning into your wolf either. I want to know you want this. The human I met once upon a time. I want to know she want this.” 

Chloe swallowed the thick lump that had formed in her throat, “I want this, Beca. Not just because you’re my mate. Not just because you’re sick. Not just because of my wolf. I want this. I want you. I can’t say none of that affects me. I can’t say that I don’t listen to my wolf or my brand or the ring on my finger. I can’t say I don’t take you being sick into consideration - I do. But it’s because I already agreed to this. All those years ago, I made this decision and I’d make it a million times over. Human Chloe made this choice and I’ll stand by it for my entire life. I’m not her anymore, but I’ll stand by you forever. I’m so sorry,” She took a breath when tears spilled over her eyelids, “But I will always love you Beca Mitchell. I will never stop making decisions to make you happy... two years ago... I just thought you’d be happier without me.” 

“Don’t ever think that again.” Beca muttered and the single phrase said more to Chloe than a mess of words jumbled out of her mouth. She knew Beca wasn’t one for words. This meant something, “C’mere.” 

Chloe scooted closer to Beca and Beca pulled her in by the collar. Their lips connected messily, bruising both sides with how absolutely needed it felt. Their brands burned, if possible, more than they ever had before. Their eyes were red despite being closed. Though, they moved as if no time had passed at all. Naturally Beca swept her tongue over Chloe’s bottom lip and Chloe allowed entry instinctively. Their lips moved languidly over one another, over and over as if breathing was an option. Chloe wasn’t sure when they’d gotten so physically close or when she’d moved to lay down on the bed. Or when Beca had leaned over her - though she vaguely remembers the way Beca had groaned as they got into the position. And just like that Beca was kissing down Chloe’s neck. Chloe learned into it when she felt Beca’s canines graze against her pulse point and the scar of the same on Chloe’s neck. 

“I love you,” Beca whispered and there was a break in it. An unbelievable break that showed them both that Beca had been holding back. That she’d been holding herself back from claiming Chloe over and over again - since the day Chloe got off the plane in Los Angeles. They both had, truly. They’d been fighting the fact fate that had been pulling them to each other forever. 

“I love you, too,” 

And Beca bit down hard on Chloe’s pulse point. Chloe let out a sound - of pain or pleasure Beca couldn’t be too sure. But Beca continued to bite own, harder and harder until she could taste the blood on her canines. Than she let go. She let go and she felt her bond cool when the mark had been made. She could feel Chloe’s feelings flow through her body as they did back when everything felt right in the world. She could feel that Chloe was holding back. She was stopping herself from marking Beca as hers. She was thankful for Chloe’s sense of control, “I love you,” Beca whispered, “I love you so much.” 

“I’m yours.” Chloe responded, when she could finally open her eyes once the feelings had passed through her and she could breath. 

“You’re mine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please Review!


	20. Someone You loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hia! This is short and as much as I wanted to give it more room, I just don't have the time and I hate leaving you all hanging! Currently working on my senior thesis in college (my own novel) so I haven't had the opportunity to write for you all. 
> 
> Thank you all for hanging out with me and I hope you enjoyed this series! Here's to the end ;)

The air was cold and still in the elevator as it kept floors of Chloe’s apartment building. Beca and Chloe stood, only a few feet apart, waiting for the ding that told them they’d reached their destination. When it did, Beca groaned low in her throat when she started moving her body once more, the wound beneath her clothes still adamant on causing her problems. Chloe immediately took notice and held one of her arms to help her walk. It had been a week since the accident and Beca was getting better. She could walk, she could manage, though her transformation was still too painful to handle. Chloe’s lip quivered in sympathy, “Baby, you didn’t have to come,” she said and she meant that this wasn’t worth the hours on the plane from Colorado to New York. She meant that Beca could’ve gone back home, to Los Angeles, with their pack instead of accompanying Chloe to Her New York apartment.

Beca looked at Chloe and Beca’s eyes had been red for an entire week - an entire week that Beca didn’t have the strength to pull them back to their human color. Beca’s eyes flickered to the healing scar on Chloe’s neck and felt proud, as she did every time, seeing it, “I wanted to,” She said, as she had every time Chloe had argued she didn’t have to.

Chloe walked them down the hall she’d been used to seeing every day for the last two years and to her door, marked twenty-two C. Beca watched as Chloe fumbled with the keys until the door finally opened and showed the brunette the place her wife had been living for two years. Chloe walked in first, like she owned the place - which of course she did... they did - and put the keys on the coffee table. Beca walked in, slower, behind Chloe and took in the apartment. It was a pretty apartment, very Chloe, but all at the same time it wasn’t. Clothes were strewn all over the living room and the kitchen was a mess. It looked like whoever lived there - who Beca had a hard time believing was Chloe - was a mess. “So this is it, huh?” 

“What?” Chloe asked, making her way around to find items she was sure she needed to bring home.

“Your... er, Bachelor pad?” No one would call it that looking at it. It wasn’t a penthouse, but it would’ve looked a lot nicer if it wasn’t such a mess. Beca wouldn’t have admitted it in a million years if anyone asked, but she was kind of happy it was a wreck. As if that proved that Chloe hadn’t had a fabulous two years alone. It made Beca feel better, at least.

“Funny,” Chloe said, “I would’ve called it a prison,” She moved to the bedroom in the back and Beca followed. It wasn’t anything special - a mattress, a closet, a dresser, TV. It looked just the same as the front with clothes covering the floor. Beca was surprised there were any clothes left to go in the closet. 

Chloe began packing a second suitcase and Beca laid down on the bed to rest her aching bones. The plane ride was not one she was comfortable with. Even after marking Chloe, she wasn’t healing as fast as she wanted to. She wanted to ask Chloe for the mating mark, but she didn’t know how. She wanted it to be natural. Besides that, the last week hadn’t given her many opportunities. Irene spent the week coming to their cabin to do exercises with them so Beca could rest (specifically bed rest demanded by Chloe). Beca was actually looking forward to getting home after they said their goodbyes to Irene and thanked her for everything she did. She just wanted to get this stop out of the way so things could... well, return to normal. Finally. 

As Beca thought and Chloe packed, Beca looked around and found herself staring at an overflowing box that was partially hidden under the bed. She looked at Chloe, who was busy with the closet, and then grabbed the box to look over its contents. Within were letters upon letters ripped open and collected - a memory box of every plea from the pack to come home. It broke Beca’s heart to see pictures of years past - Christmas mornings, pack outings, and the first and only ultrasound of their baby. Beca swallowed and put it down just before Chloe turned back to the bed. She cleared her throat, “I want your bite,” her words were almost too low to hear but Chloe stopped everything she was doing to give the dam and the weight it deserved.

“What?” Chloe cleared her throat, “I mean, are you sure?” The ginger’s êtes immediately flashed red at the mention of the mating mark at all. Once again, Beca was impressed by her wife’s control, “Here?”

“I’m sure,” Beca confirmed, sitting up on her elbows to look at her approaching wife. She looked down at the box and back up to her wife’s glare - a hungry glare that resembled what her eyes looked like when she stared at prey. Beca’s throat was dry when she swallowed again, “I, I want you. I want to be yours... forever.” 

Chloe sat down beside the bed and tucked a tuft of the brunette’s hair behind her ear. She wasn’t going to argue or ask her mate if she could earn her trust back first. She couldn’t push her instincts away any longer. The words out of Beca’s mouth caused the change in Chloe’s eyes to a burning red. She wanted the same As Beca and had never wanted any less. She wished she could do the last two years over, but she wouldn’t wait any longer to return home. It was time to reclaim her place in their family. It was time to take her place as the Alpha of their pack. When Chloe didn’t move immediately, Beca leaned her neck out as a sign of submission - showing Chloe the faded scar on the Alpha’s collar bone. Chloe swallowed, closed her eyes and leaned in. She wrapped a hand around Beca's neck and at first placed the lightest of kisses up and down her collar bone. Then opened her mouth, bared her canines over her wife’s neck and bit down - hard. Her instincts took over immediately and her bite increased tension until it broke skin. Chloe could hear the faint whimper from Beca, which only asserted Chloe’s dominance more. Chloe could feel the bond reassert itself, the longer she held the bite, the more she could feel her brand burn and her own mark hurt. Beca leaned into the pain and her brand burned stronger than possible and she wondered if she would pass out from the pain before Chloe finally let go. Both girls were left panting by the end. 

***

Years Later.

“Danny! Elliot!” Aubrey yelled up the stairs from the foyer and Chloe walked over to the railing of the stairs.

“Rose, Jaymie! You guys can’t be late for school, come on!” Chloe added before rolling her eyes at her smirking wife - who’d been leaning on the archway of their double French doors, “They take after you,” Chloe winked, remarking at Beca’s tendency to be late whereas Aubrey and Chloe had always been early - the Girl Scout way. 

Soon after the tumble, rumble hit the stairs as the three kids ran down them, barreling into the foyer of the Mitchell estate. Danny cape running down first and the three parents could smell the cologne radiating off the twelve-year-old from the top of the staircase. His backpack draped over one shoulder and threw back and forth as he ran. The dark brown hair, resembling Stacie’s, bounced with every step and he nearly tripped on the last step - not to mention running into Chloe’s shoulder when he got down. Following him was his younger (ten year old) brother - Elliot - with blonde straight hair that could only match Aubrey’s to a tee. He was only half running after his brother, but ultimately laughing at the way Danny tripped and made a fool of himself along the way. 

The other two kids, weren’t in so much of a rush behind them, walking and laughing all the same. Rose with the long ginger locks that screamed Beale more than it did her own last name and Ocean blue eyes that could only be Beca’s. She was twelve and only half a year younger than Danny. Last but not least, came little Jaymie, only eight years old but insisted on getting ready by himself. With his brown hair slushed up into a Mohawk and blue eyes that looked more like Chloe’s cerulean eyes than anything else, he jumped down each step like he was playing leapfrog - less interested in the other kids or being on time for school at all. 

“Were you trying to wake Ellie?” Beca cocks an eyebrow at her children in that Are you serious kind of way without having to reprimand them. When Ellie, Emily and Benji’s one-year-old, was sleeping, everyone hoped to keep her that way. She had a hard streak of colic and no one wanted to add to the stress. It was bad enough that everyone took turns staying up and walking her around the woods to help her calm down each night. 

“Nooooo,” came back the mantra of children.

Beca tipped her head to the doors and picked herself up off the wall, “Alright, everyone ready? Let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there a story about where they are now? Yes, absolutely. I don't have time to write it, but feel free to leave a review that says you want it for when I come back around! 
> 
> The next portion of the series would focus on Beca and Chloe's kids, Aubrey and Stacie's, and Emily and Benji's, as well as getting into where we left off on the first part of this series - Beca claiming her place on the council. 
> 
> Here's to you guys for being such great readers!
> 
> Also - to the comment about where the inspiration for Irene and her therapy sessions came from - most of it comes from me. Some of it is pulled from lore about witches and some of it is from things like harry potter, but her way of using them with Beca and Chloe is absolutely all me having fun with it. Hope you enjoy!


	21. Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Just because someone requested this and because you all have been so sweet with all of your comments! I love how into this you all are :) 
> 
> So here's your bonus scene ;) It's kind of a flashback and a flashforward between the last two scenes I posted in the last chapter.

Beca paced back and forth relentlessly, her eyes staring down the floor of the master bedroom. Chloe was running late from work - though, Beca was used to her running late. She worked at the hospital and no job at the hospital was a nine to five on the dot. Which Beca didn’t mind over the years - except for now. Except for now. Because now Beca can’t deny the morning sickness or weird feelings any longer. Not after staring down positive lines on a pregnancy test this morning. She’s been weighted by the information ever since and she hadn’t seen Chloe since she left early for work too. So she was pacing. Back and forth the floor of the master bedroom waiting for her mate to walk through - in fact, it’d been fifteen minutes on the dot since Chloe texted that she was on her way home. 

Beca’s anxiety was on the frits, causing her wolf to come out in different ways than usual. It was one of the very few reasons Beca had for disliking her wolf - she had to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Instead of ears on the side of her face, they had turned to her wolfs. Within her mane of brown hair were white and brown mixed wolf ears. Her teeth werewolf sharp, canines. Behind her, her white tail (with brown tips) whipped back and forth as she walked, slipping up and over the waist of her sweats. As she continued, she wrapped her arms over Chloe’s wonder years shirt, which was oversized on the petite brunette. 

Finally,  _ Finally  _ Chloe walked through the door - scrubs and a bag over her shoulder. Beca immediately stopped her pace and turned to the click of the door as Chloe opened it, “Hey baby, I’m sorry I’m late-” Chloe looked up from the door nob and stopped immediately, her eyes staring at the mix of wife and wolf before her, “Baby? What’s going on?” She furrowed a brow at Beca, “Are you okay?” 

“Yes… No.” Beca squeezed her eyes shut and reopened them, “I’m sorry,” 

Chloe dropped her bag and took Beca’s hand in her own, dragging Beca to sit down on their bed before taking it any further. She smiled and pet Beca’s wolf ears, which kind of made her look like a cat with the half transformation she had going on, “This is cute,” Chloe giggled, “I kind of like it.” Seeing the look on Beca’s face, she dropped her little smile, “Baby, what’s going on?” At the physical touch, Chloe could feel the anxiety running through Beca’s mind. The feelings were giving Chloe anxiety herself - at the fact that she didn’t know what was going on. Chloe tried not to smile at seeing her wifes tail slipped out between her legs. 

Beca shook her head, “I-” The words just weren’t coming out of her mouth, so she turned around and reached under the bed, pulling out the small present box she’d bought earlier that day - knowing full well that she wasn’t good with words, “This is for you.” She wanted to leave it at that, but now she couldn’t shut up, “It’s kind of weird and... and I don’t know why people do it, but…” She put the box in Chloe’s lap and looked down at the ground - her ears twitching as she scratched them. Chloe gave her a suspicious look before gazing down at the cute little box - very Beca. It was navy blue with white polka dots. She smiled, looked at her wife, and back at the box, “Just open it before I scream,” Beca breathes.

Chloe lifts open the box and peels away the light blue filler paper to reveal the pregnancy test Beca saved that morning. Immediately, Chloe’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Her eyes flicked back to Beca and this time they were red as an apple, “Is this real?” By now, Beca’s eyes had filled with tears of both joy and all of the emotions that had been filling her stomach previous to Chloe’s entrance. With tears dripping down her face, Beca can only stand to nod to her wife, “Oh my God Beca,” With her dropped jaw, her teeth peek out until they form a smile none the less, “We’re… We’re…” 

Beca nodded the yes, “We’re pregnant baby,” and Before Beca finished the question, Chloe was wrapping her arms around Beca’s waist and pulling the Alpha into a hard gripping hug. Beca’s nuzzled into Chloe’s neck and took a breath out, the anxiety coming out with the breath. In the back of her mind - Beca was grateful - somewhere deep down she worried Chloe would be sad. That it would bring up bad memories of the past. But Chloe couldn’t get passed the good news -  _ they were having a baby.  _

When Chloe let go of Beca, she slipped a hand down to Beca’s stomach and with the other, wiped the tears from her eyes, “I love you,” Chloe whispered in the dark of their room, staring into Beca’s red eyes, “My little cat,” she giggled looking up at Beca’s ears and down at her tail.

Becs wiped her tears and put a hand over Chloe's hand on her stomach. She laughed, “Don’t even. I haven’t left our room for hours. God if the pack saw me like this-” She shrugged, “And who came up with wrapping a fucking pee stick,” 

Chloe laughed and put a hand through Beca’s hair, grazing the wolf ear in the process, “You’re beautiful baby,” Beca opened her mouth to respond, but Chloe captured her lips instead. Their lips connected like it was the first time all over, causing emotions between them that couldn’t be spoken or explained - it was bonded, it was  _ fate. _

“I don’t know what’s going on, this might not ever go away,” Beca joked, “I think it’s the hormones.” 

Chloe smiled and kissed Beca again, lingering against Beca’s lips and leaning against Beca’s forehead, “I love you so much,” She repeated, “We’re going to have a baby,” She nearly squealed.

“We’re going to have a baby.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much ;) Let me know if you guys still want more of this AU in the future and if you want to see a third installment. If I do go through with it, I'll probably make it the third installment, but also readable by those who haven't followed the whole series ;) 
> 
> Please Review!

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @ezrajclarke
> 
> Please Review!!


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